so my wife said i should try going out once a week to get used to being me. we decided on sunday night as being the best time. less people about in the city and nothing is really planned on those nights with friends.
so i got myself all dolled up but very casual girl next door. jeans, open V neck sweater, flats and a light coat.
ran down my apartment jumped in my car and drove away..clean escape. As i drove i was always looking for someone pointing or laughing...no one..awesome. I parked close to the bar and jumped out and ran in. i sat down and chatted with everyone. i was a nervous wreck but i calmed down as the night drew on. everyone was totally awesome. i felt my confidence brimming as they were telling me i looked great and how brave i was. eventually it was time to head home. Just as i stepped out of the bar two giant dudes and a tiny drunk chick walked by it took her half a second to look at me and say "that chick is a dude"...confidence...back to zero.
ran to my car drove home and sat demoralized. oh well next time. just thought i would share with everyone. take care