Did what? I hear you say.
Long post alert.
I've not been an active member of the forum for 6 months, so bear with me whilst I re-cap a little.
I'm still in the closet to friends, family, neighbours etc & my dressing has always been limited to dressing at home & even this was & still is limited by the fact that I live with my retired father who doesn't know about Carla.
12 months ago tomorrow I decided to make a small step & visited Dee Selecta, a CD'ing shop in Bolton.
I went in guy mode to suss the place out. Dee made me feel at ease, so I decided to book a make-up lesson for the following Saturday.
This was the first time I had dressed infront of anyone.
Since then I've visited Dee's fairly regularly over the winter of 2011/2012 & this gave me a chance to relax & dress for more than a hastily grabbed half hour or so at home.
In February this year I combined a mid-week visit to Dee's with an evening at Manchester Concord, a support group that meets in the Gay Village area of Manchester. It was my next stepping stone to getting out & about, especially as a couple of the regular girls persuaded me to head out around some bars.
I repeated this again in the middle of May & this was my last chance to dress for 6 months.
Late spring through to mid-November is a busy time at work, so I don't have the time or energy to dress.
Anyways, now to the point. What did I do?
I finally managed to pluck up the courage to head out into the general population as Carla.
It took some planning, but I'd decided to combine another mid-week visit to Dee's, a visit to Manchester Concord, an overnight stay in a hotel on Canal Street & a shopping trip around Manchester all whilst dressed.
I got dressed at Dee's, spent the day there then drove into town, parked up & walked to the hotel.
I was nervous checking in, but the receptionist wasn't fazed, she'd probably seen it all before.
After a quick change into some heels I headed to Villaggio's to grab something to eat with some of the regular girls, then headed upstairs to the meeting.
A few of us then headed out to hit some bars & I was going to make the most of it as I didn't have to worry about getting changed back into guy clothes & heading home.
Let's just say that I certainly made a night of it as I didn't get back to my room until 1 am.
Next morning after breakfast I got dressed & did my make-up again & checked out of the hotel.
I was a little nervous walking back to the carpark, as it was now broad daylight, but nobody batted an eylid.
I chucked my luggage into the car then headed off on foot to walk into the shopping area.
I couldn't believe I was doing it, but it felt great.
I was jut another girl in the crowd. Everone was in ther own little worlds & those that looked at me just saw another girl out shopping. What a feeling.
I even walked right through a group of workmen on a break, right through their line of sight. Woohoo. If I can manage that I must be 'blending in' fairly well.
Wandering around inside the Arndale Centre was a little warm as I'd wrapped up well as it was cold outside, so I had to head outside to cool down. The only downside was that the strong winds kept blowing my hair into my face.
I bought a few items of clothing from Primark. The checkout girl sussed me as soon as I opened my mouth as I can't do a convincing femme voice, so stuck with my guy voice.
I had a good wander around Debenhams, but decided that all the stuff I liked was far too expensive. Wandering around & mingling in close proximity to other customers was interesting & nobody seemed to give me a second look.
Occasionally I'd get a glimps of myself in a mirror. Very odd feeling. There's me out in a shop, dressed.
I decided to have a coffee in Costa & again used my guy voice. The guy serving me didn't batt an eylid & was polite.
Rather than sit in a corner & 'hide behind a pot plant', I decided to plonk myself down right in the middle of all the other customers.
If anyone did suss me, I didn't notice as there were no long stares or confused looks.
My dress style is pretty much casual everyday anyway & I certainly think this helped me to 'blend in' along with understated everyday make-up.
Now in the past, I've read other peoples accounts on the forum of getting out & about & thought I'd never do it myself. I didn't believe that you could move through the streets & crowds unseen, but now I believe.It's fantastic.
The support from reading other girls stories has given me the strength & courage to do it myself.
Thank you all & I hope that my story may just help another girl to gather the courage to step out for the first time.
Go on girls, you know you want to.
I just need to find an opportunity to do it again now I've finally made that HUGE leap out of my deep closet.
Luv Carla
Originally Posted by Carla Stevens
