I know this doesn't pertain to some of us. I know that some of us lament that we look like linebackers. And I sympathize.
But were you a small boy? I was. I was always undersized. And as a boy, that really stuck pins in my self-esteem. I was uncoordinated, too. So I was never able to dribble a basketball all that well. I couldn't hit a baseball all either. And while I could catch a football, throwing one was difficult because my hands were too small.....and so were my biceps.
I was always picked next-to-last when drawing up teams. I wasn't last, mind you. There was always one puny kid who got that honor. But I was right down there in the dregs when choosing sides. And like many smaller boys, I didn't fill out until later, either. When we were in gym class in junior high, many of the boys had "matured" while I remained pre-pubescent. Sure, it came along when it was supposed to, I guess, but by that time, I was already so lacking in self-esteem, I was sure that no girls would want me when there were so many bigger, stronger guys around to choose from.
I always took my solace in knowing I was smarter than most of my imagined rivals. I did well in school, even if I knew I'd never letter in football. I wasn't good at sports, but I was good at being a student. And I was also good at model railroading, building models, reading, writing, and an assortment of other things that are not benchmarks of manhood.
And then along came crossdressing. Yay! Now here was something I was good at! The clothes almost always fit me. And boy, were they ever cool! Way cooler than the dumb stuff available for boys to wear! Perhaps the many hits to my ego I'd already endured by this time were enough to make me think (or wish) I should have been a girl instead. But I took to crossdressing like a fish to water. After I'd experienced pantyhose for the first time, it couldn't have been more than a month or two before I was dressing completely from the neck on down. And I never quit.
I find myself wondering if my smaller stature when I was a boy had a lot to do with my becomming a crossdresser. Anyone else feel this way?