hey wife, I have a deep understanding of the processes of subconscious mind and associated denial, through which I will try to explain as clear as I can.
I suppose it would be safe to say that every CDre does what they do to achieve expression of the opposing gender within the image they portray.
There are different levels of expression though ranging from fetishistic all the way to congruity of body and mind.
After most of the criterion had been sifted through selective screen, two main expressions remain, on one hand, that of projecting the image of a female separate from self and on the other hand, image of self in the other (proper) gender.
Both can have tendency of sexuality tied into the expression because Cders body still runs on TESTOSTERONE, a hormone mainly responsible for expression of physicality!!!
Their bottled up femininity had no way of expressing it self, and exploring the world. being males, throughout their life all they could hope for is the feeling of releasing the energy through masturbation or sexual act, or perhaps anger and frustration, something very centric to masculine character.
Now, the most precise test, which by the way is seldom used by therapists because of its still controversial intervention, is to devoid the organism of Testosterone, which in fact renders person sexually void. At that point if dressing still feels pleasurable or just simply right, then it is rather clear that such person would have a transsexual tendencies, however, if such patient becomes confused and dislikes the idea of just the act of dressing then it is rather clear that they are fetishistic in their approach and NON transsexual.
I am not suggesting such test but I am merely using it as an illustration of how things work.
So, here is where it gets complicated, your hubby may indeed be a fetishistic or non fetishistic dresser, the bast way to test for the difference is.......well, I have nothing more precise then a THERAPY!
TG experienced therapist with vast expertise and few sessions to uncover the subconscious mechanism, no one has to know besides you both, no one will ever know if you choose to keep this intimate, and NO, no one will render your husband a FREAK if such knowledge is kept away from the mainstream.
But all in all, this is the way to find out and make peace with the reality!
All my love, hon, Inna