After my weekend as Sophia, I really do not want to go back to work...
I am genuinely depressed.
After my weekend as Sophia, I really do not want to go back to work...
I am genuinely depressed.
No one wants to go back to work..... if they did it would be called work... Ok... I actually like going to work.... I'm the exception....
I go through this every time I change back into guy garb. After finally finding my niche, and a wig and clothes that fit me absolutely perfectly so everything I see and feel signals to me 'girl', it really takes me out of the girl frame of mind when I have to change back. The real kicker is taking off my nail polish.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I want to go back to work only I want to be as Debra..................................Debra
I am glad that you experienced such enjoyment as Sophia this weekend. Think about the joy you had and the next weekend you will have. No one likes going back to work, anyway.
Hard as it is to believe but going to work each day presenting as a woman is not fun after a while. It just becomes routine and boring. Also maintenance.
It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.
The blue print for my life said, "multi millionaire, do not over work". Somehow, Richard Branson got mine and I became one of the proletariat.Originally Posted by Sophia Frances
Still, going to work gives me the weekends to look forward to. Plus every now and then, I have to do overnight stays, so Rebecca gets to travel too!
Rebecca
I am always reluctant to "go back" and tend to delay the inevitable as long as possible. However, the job makes it all possible and I too love what I do but can't do it as Dee. When the regrets or depression start to creep in, I focus on the fond memories of the time as Dee. Which makes me feel wonderful no matter how I must dress.
I have a wonderful date lined up for a lovely New Years Eve. I'll be going as my guy self and pouring all the guy tricks.... but down the road, if she can't accept the girl side of me, we are in trouble. That's the test.....wish me luck.
Think positive! If you work this week then you can aford to buy that dress you adore this coming week end!
If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:
I know exactly how you feel. It's a deep down depression that comes along, when it has been so long to have the opportunity to become your other side. And especially those that were born this way. I had not become my female side from SCC-2011 until memorial week end of 2012, dur to issues at home about Tara. So from that Fri-Sat-Sun, I knew I had to go back to work the next Monday morning, but I stayed as Tara, till 1:30 am and having to get up at 5. I didn't want to let go. But I did, took a shower and washed it all away. Still, I tossed and turned all night long with not good sleep. At work the next day, being Tara was all I thought about. It did depress me, for a few days.
Are we seeing a common pattern here? I think so. Though the feelings of depressions of having to take it off for time had run out, is not new to me. It was very hard for me to suppress what I needed to do for those 9 months from 9-2011 until 5-2012.
Then I wonder, and if I may, I'd like to ask a question, as the op is asking but with one small angle. Of the cd's that get depressed when that after long last they get the opportunity to become that other side, and removing that, and or taking it all off, and you feel that sadness that follows,,,,,,,have you been a life long dresser, like it has always been with you from as early an age of like 4 or 5 years old. I ask this here because I just have a theory, that maybe, and not certainly, but that those cd's that started later in life, let's say around 30 years old, do you have those feelings of depression when you have ran out of time and must take it all of, for having to go to work, or family is coming over or vice versa?
Peace and love,
Tara D.Rose
Last edited by Tara D. Rose; 12-05-2012 at 11:22 AM.
I bet you feel a lot better in yourself otherwise tho'.
Sophia,
This comes to us all, go to work and think of next weekend.
It only gets better.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
I understand your dilemma and feelings, Sophia. No one wants to undo what makes them happiest. So, I almost never take off my toenail polish, toe rings, and ankle bracelet. Even though they are covered up with all the guy garb, I KNOW they are there and that gives me some comfort. Lara is never really far away and always part of my life.
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