Finding a crossdressing friend.

[cathie pantyhose]

Ive wished I could be less nervous to meet others while dressed. Ive tried to get the courage. I did once meet a cd while living in Atlanta a couple years ago for lunch but we both showed up in guy mode which we agreed to. She was great but I've since moved back to Colorado and haven't made the courage again. I had a ggf who loved to have me dress up and a bf who loved it as well but he didnt dress up. He was gay and just enjoyed the excitement but that was 18 years ago and during my first marriage. Of course my current wife is not as accepting of me dressing but she knows and is still here so I guess I'm lucky. I would love the chance to just be with other CD's as it can be a bit isolating but that's why I'm on this site. At least writing things out helps and if I help someone else along the way, cool.

[TheCommoner]

Finding someone I can cross dress with is definitely something that everyone needs at some level. I have a wonderful and supportive wife and great friends, but It would be nice to share tips, and to go out on the town with who share my interests and situation.

[Loni]

are there any social groups with in 100 miles of were you live?

some are more "open" then others as in there is one very small group trying to get started close to me, a lunch styled thing. but sad for me i work weekends.
if i could get sat off work i would be in with them.

sadly most out there just do not know or are so afraid to try to get out. this hurts all of us, as the world at large only cares about getting off work and going home to relax and sleep.

i do hope you can find your support group, and new friends out there.
a quick search shows a number of groups in scotland.

good luck.

loni

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[Leslie Langford]

I find it interesting that most of the responses to the OP's original question center around finding another CDer to hang out with and for mutual support. I must be the odd duck here, then, as this holds no particular interest for me.

That said, it's one thing to bond anonymously with other CDers on forums such as this to share life experiences, give and solicit advice, and to find solace in the fact that one is not alone in this strange trip. But whenever I am out and about in "Leslie" mode, I try to blend in to the best of my ability but let's face it - when one is out in public with a bunch of other crossdressers, the odds of being "read" and possibly attracting negative attention increase exponentially with the number of people in the group. Others might be O.K. with that, but it is not my cup of tea.

My holy grail would be to find a GG who could be a BFF to me, and who would do "real" girl stuff with me in the way a "gal pal" would. Not for the purpose of having an affair, and nothing sexual (I am deeply committed to my marriage) - just a platonic relationship and someone to go shopping or have a "girl's night out" with in a "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" kind of way as Cyndi Lauper puts it in her iconic song.

I have come close to that with the GG make up artist that I see on a semi-regular basis, and part of the fun of these makeovers is for me to be treated just like any other GG customer of hers while I am there, along with the requisite "girl talk". Heck, she even seems to almost forget that I am not a real GG when she starts to veer into TMI territory including confiding in me regarding her past struggles with depression, and how going through menopause is such a bumpy ride for her.

Now if only I could find a GG "gal pal" along the same lines to accompany me on my outings as well as appreciate what I could bring to the table from a CDer's perspective...

[Leslie Langford]

Well now - that's quite the fanciful and imaginative scenario you're painting here, Purple - and more power to you if you can pull it off .

You're a musician you say? So maybe...smoking weed is part of the picture here and pretty much a "given"? And your forum name is Purple? As in "Purple Haze"? Hmmm...I think I'm starting to connect the dots here .

[Leslie Langford]

You're clearly in a happy place, Purple, so all I can say at this point is - You go girl! And thanks for the invite - I wouldn't mind tasting some of that "feel-good" Kool-Aid myself .

[Ceri Anne]

I have a friend I found on Craigslist. Most people there are really just after sex though, and thats not either of our goals. Anyway, I've found more friends from here, and find they are all around me. I have also gotten a number of friends while I have been out dressed at local lgbt clubs. Again, not looking to pick people up, but to meet and have fun. Good luck.

[Leslie Langford]

Whatever happened to that vaunted "Southern Hospitality", your Purpleness? You're making me feel like the ugly step-sister now. And just to let you know, I don't do potatoes, pots and pans - or windows for that matter. Too hard on the manicure, actually. A girl has her limits... .

[Kayley]

Part of joining the group is to at least have virtual friends if the real ones are not available. That being said, it would be very nice to have someone to go out with in the real world. Kind of a wingman. They watch your back and you watch theirs.

[Loni]

I find it interesting that most of the responses to the OP's original question center around finding another CDer to hang out with and for mutual support. I must be the odd duck here, then, as this holds no particular interest for me.

That said, it's one thing to bond anonymously with other CDers on forums such as this to share life experiences, give and solicit advice, and to find solace in the fact that one is not alone in this strange trip. But whenever I am out and about in "Leslie" mode, I try to blend in to the best of my ability but let's face it - when one is out in public with a bunch of other crossdressers, the odds of being "read" and possibly attracting negative attention increase exponentially with the number of people in the group. Others might be O.K. with that, but it is not my cup of tea.

My holy grail would be to find a GG who could be a BFF to me, and who would do "real" girl stuff with me in the way a "gal pal" would. Not for the purpose of having an affair, and nothing sexual (I am deeply committed to my marriage) - just a platonic relationship and someone to go shopping or have a "girl's night out" with in a "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" kind of way as Cyndi Lauper puts it in her iconic song.

I have come close to that with the GG make up artist that I see on a semi-regular basis, and part of the fun of these makeovers is for me to be treated just like any other GG customer of hers while I am there, along with the requisite "girl talk". Heck, she even seems to almost forget that I am not a real GG when she starts to veer into TMI territory including confiding in me regarding her past struggles with depression, and how going through menopause is such a bumpy ride for her.

Now if only I could find a GG "gal pal" along the same lines to accompany me on my outings as well as appreciate what I could bring to the table from a CDer's perspective...

i had understood this was what she is looking for. but as for finding other people, now there is the 64 million dollar question.
i am a loner by life, but i just get out and talk to any other, can be fun and the people one can meet. sad only a short time, not long lived friendships.

.

[gracee]

I enjoy all my guy friends as a guy, but you know what would suit me fine? Finding one who wouldn't mind my dressing up when we're sitting around shooting the sh*t, popping beers, watching TV. Maybe even he could put his arm around my shoulders, brother-like, and say Hey it's okay Gracee... And then, if I could get him to try on women's clothes, just to see how a non-CD reacts to the feel and the situation, well -- WOW!

But that would mean a one-by-one query of all my friends and I'm just not gonna go there. So... back to square one. At least until I figure out a way to phrase the question. Ideas?

Oh, and my SO is gone gone gone.

[LauraBird]

I'm fortunate enough to have a very supportive wife (intro post coming soon I promise) and I guess the only aversion I would have to finding a CD friend would be that we might stick out more with two of us than one... Self conscious as it is and have only been out a small handful of times. Still might be interesting I guess? I think it'd probably be best if it were another couple, so my wife would have someone to lean on and share with too, ya know?

[FaithGrace]

I went through meetup.com and found a couple transgender groups in my area that I have recently become a part of. I've met up with a few very encouraging and helpful girls so far and am looking forward to a couple meetings/Christmas parties next weekend. Personally, I have found that I am much more comfortable being with another girl, or group of girls than I am by myself. Me and 2 others met at a sports bar last night for a few drinks and had a great time. Nobody bothered or harassed us at all and a few (genetic) girls came over to say hi and offer their support. It was a wonderful feeling to go out and feel accepted!

[Sophia Frances]

being that my wife does not know I CD, I would feel like I would be cheating on her by going out without telling her. I already feel like I am cheating on her with another woman....that woman being me...by not telling her. I would like to make a CD friend though...it sounds and feels like it would make life easier and more fun, but I have found this site to be very helpful.

[NathalieX66]

I started out with Sigma Nu Rho, the NJ chapter of Tri Ess, wich is afiliated with New Jersey Support Group, which is an all-inclusive TG support group, met lots of friends at Keystone Conference in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania (rhymes with Transvestite from Transsexual Transylvania...the song from the movie RHPS). , and somehow we all seem to run into each other at the Raven, in New Hope, Pennsylvania.
And i met more of you on this forum at Southern Comfort Conference in Atlanta, Georgia.

My girl Facebook page helps too.

[ReineD]

... I don't want anything sexual just friendship with someone who also crossdresses and I can visit to have a glass of wine and a bit of a blether (chat)

You might consider joining a transgender support group. Here are some resources for Scotland:

http://www.scotsgay.co.uk/listings/groups.html#Tra
http://www.spanglefish.com/SwansofScotland/links.asp

You can google your specific area to see what else there is. My SO joined a support group in a city two hours away, that she attended every few months or so for years and years. It was of immense help to her. We still go occasionally (the good groups allow the spouses/girlfriends to come), and we always have a wonderful time visiting with old friends when we go. Many of the groups have rooms available for people to change in, if they do not yet feel comfortable going out in public dressed.

[Kristyn Hill]

I am drinking and smoking and that was all some fun stuff to read between you two ladies. Very creative writing Purple. I imagine you have written 1000's of songs.

For the record, I enjoy both of your post.

[DanaR]

...............................................My holy grail would be to find a GG who could be a BFF to me, and who would do "real" girl stuff with me in the way a "gal pal" would. Not for the purpose of having an affair, and nothing sexual (I am deeply committed to my marriage) - just a platonic relationship and someone to go shopping or have a "girl's night out" with in a "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" kind of way as Cyndi Lauper puts it in her iconic song.

I have come close to that with the GG make up artist that I see on a semi-regular basis, and part of the fun of these makeovers is for me to be treated just like any other GG customer of hers while I am there, along with the requisite "girl talk". Heck, she even seems to almost forget that I am not a real GG when she starts to veer into TMI territory including confiding in me regarding her past struggles with depression, and how going through menopause is such a bumpy ride for her.

Now if only I could find a GG "gal pal" along the same lines to accompany me on my outings as well as appreciate what I could bring to the table from a CDer's perspective...

Leslie, I can totally relate to you on this. I used to attend the Esprit Convention, in Port Angeles Washington, and made friends with some of the local GG's. They would take me out bar hopping and over the years I became good friends with one of them.

Whenever I was in town, Teresa would come down and visit and we would talk on the phone other times. She would invite me and some friends up to her house and we would visit. She brought her boyfriend down to meet me, before they were married, and we still talk once in a while.

What I have found that some GG's want more than just a friendship; which I couldn't provide. After Teresa got married, she moved out of town, but we were still able to go out once in a while with some of her friends. After a couple of years, she stopped going out, but I did with her friends; which after a while, one of them started getting real possessive of me. She almost was stalking me when I was in town. The end came when she told me that I needed to leave my wife, because she could cure me of my crossdressing. After she told me this, I talked to Teresa and told her that if I left my wife I would probably go on hormones; which wasn't really true, but it served it's purpose. I made a point of not being around her when I was in town. If I was out with anyone and a GG was there, she would challenge the GG because of her jealousy. I had to finally stop going to Espirt; which was about 5 years ago.

BTW, I've always been upfront with them about my wife, and my wife has been fine with me being friends with them; which I find a lot easier than lying to her.

[Fiona K]

Kinda missing the OP's point to make a point?
The listings don't include the country in which Amy actually lives, which is why Pauline and I responded earlier. Not everyone lives in the US.

[ReineD]

Kinda missing the OP's point to make a point?
The listings don't include the country in which Amy actually lives, which is why Pauline and I responded earlier. Not everyone lives in the US.

Fiona, if you're referring to the links I posted earlier, they were the TG groups that I found in Scotland.

Heck, she even seems to almost forget that I am not a real GG when she starts to veer into TMI territory including confiding in me regarding her past struggles with depression, and how going through menopause is such a bumpy ride for her.

Now if only I could find a GG "gal pal" along the same lines to accompany me on my outings as well as appreciate what I could bring to the table from a CDer's perspective...

Leslie, if you want to have an emotionally close and platonic friendship with a GG, you can. I've had many such relationships throughout my life with members of both sexes. I don't divulge deeply personal things to random strange men, but I've had male friends who have been intimately aware of the joys and struggles in my life, including menopause, depression, etc. And these relationships were purely platonic ... I mean, this is what good friends do. They talk about things that are close to the heart. One of my son's all time best ever friends is female. She has a bf that she is happy with, but she and my son go a long way (primary school) and they can stay up all night talking about all the things that either of them would talk about with members of the same sex. I'm saying this, because you really don't need to be dressed in order to have this. If, however, you want any of your good female friends to accept your cross-gender expression, then this is a different matter than just being good friends with someone and sharing intimate aspects of your lives? I mean, the things you talk about to a good female friend would be the same whether or not you are dressed?

What I have found that some GG's want more than just a friendship;

This can also be true and my SO met one GG like this. While several GGs were quite willing to accept and support my SO's cross-gender expression (albeit more casually since they didn't hang out enough to become best friends), one in particular had her eye on my SO, and even though my SO could not feel this, I felt all kinds of bad ju-ju coming from this GG. Believe me, a girl knows when someone else has designs on her partner. She was actually motivated by collecting adoring (male) fans for her magnificent self. lol I hated it when my SO would meet this particular GG without me. We just don't talk about her any more.

[nicolecd]

Hi amy,im in same boat as yourself.i would love to meet another crossdresser
To share my crossdressing with.would be great just to meet with sum1 like
Yourself,just to chill when dressed and relax.im in the glasgow area if you fancy
A chat.would love nothing better in world to spend time with fellow crossdresser
And help with dressing and make up.get in touch.xxx