hello all need help w this i have and asian female neighbor in my apartment building she see me bringing in bags from victoria sercret dots macys make-up store and she has ask if im gay crossdresser etc im wondering how i should handle this plus she knows i live alone to all susgestion welcome im thinking about just telling her as i think she suspect anyway
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Seems pretty simple to me, If she should happen to ask, tell her like it is.
my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress
"Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"
So THAT'S what my neighbors think of me!Originally Posted by Samantha Thomson
Seriously, that is kind of an odd question to come out of someone but perhaps your neighbor has no filter. I know people like that, they generally mean no harm. So the question is whether there is any benefit to you in owning it with her. If not, if you prefer to keep this information to yourself, then you owe her nothing. You don't have to tell her a thing.
But that initial interaction has come and gone, what did you tell her in the first place?
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
I would just have told her.....no I'm not gay but sometimes I'm a boy and sometimes I'm a girl. How about you? .....and see what she says.
All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?
Ask her if she would like to go out for a coffee and chat. If she is nosy curious, you need tell her nothing. None of us are required to supply others with fodder for gossip.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
She comes from Asia, Thailand? The transgendered centre of the world?
I thinl she is just being open asking those questions, if she comes from Singapore she may ask if you are a lady boy, only to understand you better.
It is not prying but an open question that requires yes or no with a smile and she is happy either way.
Thailand would be similar so as she knows who she sees come and go.
Sometimes your brother and sometimes your sister.
In conversation with someone in Singapore I was told by a lady that she liked his sister better than her brother because she looked pretty.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Id just let her know that your a cd, she may turn out to be a very nice friend. Pretry sure she already knows your are since shes seen you with shopping bags and that you live alone. Open the door and let her in.
Renee
Samantha, when I have a shopping bag that might interest someone, I keep a plain nylon bag in the car that shows no one what I've been shopping for. Just a suggestion, unless you like showing the brand labels. I do agree, some of the brand name bags can be very feminine looking. You could shop with a few Home Depot bags in your purse. Just kidding! Take care.
You've kind of outed yourself by not concealing the bags from women's stores. What else could you be up to? Uh, those are Christmas gifts for all my girlfriends. Now MYOB
Is this woman a friend or acquaintance, or simply a fellow apartment dweller whom you happen to know by sight? If the latter, what business is it of hers? You don't owe her any explanation regarding your lifestyle.
Also, what does being Asian have to do with anything?
Since she was presumptuous enough to ask, tell her who you are in gems of your dressing habits. I don't know your sexuality but its either MYOB or be open. That is up to you..
I don't see why you should have to hide your shopping bags from others. It is a free country.
Last edited by kimdl93; 12-10-2012 at 08:15 PM. Reason: darn iPad typos
to beverly and ms renee she was born in this country but your right she probaly already knows maybe i get lucky and find a gf to go shopping w well will let you all know how it turns out
It is amazing how the possibly rude forwardness of some people puts us in a mental position of needing to respond in some way...as if they are owed a response because they exist. Two thoughts:
1) When someone does this to me I turn it around by asking something like, "and why would you think it's ok to ask such a personal question of a virtual stranger?". In other words, start asking them questions which require them to reveal themselves, and then just say, "have a good day".
2) In this case, the cultural differences might be a mitigating circumstance, so a little more gentle approach might be appropriate, as long as you willing to engage her in conversation. Questions like, "why do you link gender presentation and sexual preference?". If you find her pleasant then you can continue, else there is always the "have a nice day".
Whichever, never feel intimidated by overly forward people. They usually get the information they desire simply because they catch us off guard!
My two cents: 1. try to be more discrete with your bags, if you are uncomfortable with the "repercussions"; 2. tell her to mind her own darned business.
Honesty is a good policy in general. Being a CD, and admitting it to a casual friend / neighbor may be daunting at first but there is likely no real downside. We aren't performing a criminal act. Also, being Gay is not criminal either; and I don't know (or care) whether you are or are not.
Try a gentle but honest response, who knows there may be a deeper friendship waiting here to explore.
Good luck,
Sandra1746
If you think she suspects remove all doubt if you feel strong enough to handle the fallout. Better to stop all speculation rather than have the rumor mill on full blast. That is unless you don't give an eyelash what people think.
If the clothes make the man then the makeup makes the woman.
Just imagine if the situations were reversed and any GM asked a similar type question to a GG.
Ex. My neighbor who lives alone is constantly bringing Fredericks of Hollywood bags into her apartment on a near daily basis. So I mentioned to her, "I have been WATCHING YOU (with a stalkerish stare or smile) every single day, and I noticed you are always bringing Fredericks of Hollywood bags into your apartment. Are you a porn star or stripper?? After getting slapped, pepper sprayed, recieving a black eye, or a visit from the police along with being served a protective order, I would probably take the hint this is a very inappropriate thing to mention or say to anyone.
2. The second scenario instead I noted my female neighbor who is single, lives alone, has a short boyish hairstyle, brings Men's Warehouse bags into her apt. on a daily basis. So I approach her and mention the Men's Warehouse Bags and ask, "Are you gay or trying to be a dude?" "I just wondering because I watch you every single day and note you only bring home Men's Warehouse Bags, and never any bags from women's stores". So she answers "First I am recovering from Cancer that's why I have a short hair cut!! I work in the retail service industry and my uniform consist of a Polo Shirt and Khaki's!! Not that it's any of your business, I am married but my husband is stationed overseas, and I am ordering suits for him, for when he leaves the military and is planning on re-entering the workforce!! Also just for effect a slap is recieved afterwards, along with a very scathing facebook post.
The reason for these pointless scenarios is that you do not need to provide an explanation to your neighbor about the purchases you make, and to also show a perspective on how inappropriate/down right offensive it is for her to mention anything to you in this regard. In my own experiences if one of my wigs, make up supplies, red book magazines etc., is accidentaly delivered to a neighbor and upon bringing the package to my house, and returning it he they ask "Why are you ordering these things, and are you a gay crossdresser" just for fun I would mention yes, but don't worry U are not my type at all!!!
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The very first thing that came to my mind while reading this is: is it any of her business as to what your buying, where, and why is she always watching you. She may be interested or she is just one of those extremely nosy neighbors that think they need to know everything everyone is doing at all times, which means she also talks alot.
My GF does this. She keeps quite a few of these bags in the car at all times. She doesn't like paper or plastic so she has them if she stops some where to get something. I have used them quite a few times myself to keep prying eyes out of my business
Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!
Your neighbor may be just a person who interjects herself into any conversation. If she has made this observation, then I would suspect there are a lot of others in the apartment building who are thinking the same thing. I grew up in a forty-eight unit building and everyone knew everybody's business.
Without perusing your other posts, I do not know if you venture out fully dressed or confine your cross dressing to your apartment. If you are not outgoing, like every one has stated, you should transfer those goody bags into something gender neutral. When my kids were little I routinely had to hide the Toys R Us bags at Christmas into black trash bags.
Do you get Victoria Secret 'free panty' coupons in the mail? I get them under my male name because my daughter used my Master Card years ago. My wife gets them under her name, too! Lots of free panties! If you do get those ads and coupons, ever consider meeting the letter carrier?
Last edited by Stephanie47; 12-09-2012 at 08:24 PM.
Hi Samantha, what do you want to tell this lady? Some cultures will have a hard time understanding so things could go south pretty quick; however, if you haven't heard from anybody else chances are she has not talked to anybody else. People talk, people judge so let it be their problem not yours.
Hi Samantha,
I'd be as honest as you are comfortable with. If she pushes it or simply seems curious, maybe ask if she would
like to meet Samantha! Then invite her in for coffee or a drink if you like.
Sheilagirl
Just have to vent this - I still get really upset that most's people still associate CD'ing with being gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but the two things have absolutely nothing to do with each other!
Go for it tell her exactly who and what you are at least you will know where you stand with her and she may just suprise you
Life is for living don't let it pass you by.
Whelp, let me fantasize, with some humor, and with wishful thinking...
She's single, I'm single. She's in my calibrated, desirable, and acceptable age group for me. She asks if I'm a gay crossdresser, and I answer accordingly. I'd just tell her, nope not gay. (Or yep, I am gay, if ya want). Let her pull the information
Irregardless, if she is an available chick, and I were shopping, I would wanna, like, get to know her, me thinks. Who knows, this may be a meaningful relationship if all the right and appropriate conditions were met. Wow, it would really be great if she wanted a mate who accepted the CD stuff. I guess my imagination is running rampant, but I wish I could give you some really, really good advice.
Denial, Sam!
Same thing that a lot of members here use! Like:
"Bags? What bags?"
"We talked about this before? When was that? Why don't I remember?"
"What IS a gay crossdresser? Sounds like some kind of reality TV show. I don't watch those silly ones!"
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
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