Has anyone's SO changed their wardrobe after finding out?

[AngoraGirl]

It's been 7 years since I first told my wife about my crossdressing - something she still refuses to accept or talk about even though I've tried to broach the subject a few times over the years. I've noticed that gradually over time her clothes have become more and more drab. She never buys anything pink or red or all that girly anymore for the most part. All the sweaters she buys are grey or black or blue. She definitely isn't buying any sexy underwear anymore either. Anyone else experience anything like this at home?

[Jenn A116]

I'm doubting this has anything to do with your CD'ing. If you told her 7 years ago I would have expected a change then, not many years later, if it was related. Its likely her tastes are just changing.

[AllieSF]

Yes, I have and that was before I ever started crossdressing. We get older and our and their tastes just change over time. Now, if there is a correlation between she knowing that you crossdress and her choice of clothes, who knows? It could also be in response to maybe her feeling that her husband is more interested in his looking pretty as a woman and not so interested in her own looks, maybe interpreted by you responses to her when she does dress up nicely. Sometimes people give off signals over time that can be interpreted correctly or incorrectly, but one way or the other they are are interpreted. Have you ever asked her why she dresses up less? If not and you do decide to ask, be careful how you ask and good luck.

[Julie Gaum]

Before anyone can even guess an answer --- more information is needed like your relationship. We don't know how long you were married before you told your wife --- that's the first question. Then has your romance and sexual activity droppped sharply or gradually or not at all?
In general are your interests and her's changing? Mutual interests changing? In other words where do you think the marriage is going? Interest in one's mate as reflected in how one dresses may or may not be related. So tell us more though in reality you need to tell yourself more.
Julie

[PretzelGirl]

As I dressed more and more, my wife's warddrobe changed a lot. But don't confuse the cause and effect as Allie demonstrates. My wife changed because my daughter would twist her arm on what styles she choose (she twisted mine some too).

[Ann Thomas]

Yes, I've experienced this as well in my marriage (we're separated currently). In my situation it seems to be connected with my wife feeling like she is not capable of meeting my needs for female companionship. She thinks that if she could do that, I would not feel the need to dress female. Problem is, it's me that needs dressing for myself, and *no one* outside of myself can meet that need. When younger, I thought being with an extremely feminine woman would help, but it doesn't appear to in the long run. So, it seems my wife "gave up" and bought more androgynous stuff. It's taken years for me to talk to her about it and let her know that it's not her, but me that has the "problem". She's finally starting to come around a bit lately, and bought several new fairly girly things just in the last week or two.

Hope that helps!

Hugs,
Ann

[suchacutie]

I can't say that I've seen any change at all. Tina has been a joint project so there really isn't anything that isn't "us" and clothing styles were long-before established. Tina's have evolved as we got to know her better, but that's about it.

[Angela Campbell]

I don't think it has anything to do with crossdressing. I have lived with many women and they never knew about this side of me and they all did the same thing over time. I think it is more like at first they are trying to attract you and excite you and eventually they lose all interest in that, they are comfortable that they have you, and they stop doing the things that attracted you in the first place. If you complain about it it will surely get worse. I don't think it is a concious decision it is just the way of things. It is the same way that the frequency of sex will slow down. At first it is exciting and they are trying very hard to please, and eventually they move on to other interests and feel secure they have you and that will slow down and in some cases go away all together.

[CynthiaD]

I've noticed that my wife has been buying prettier underwear lately. I guess she got tired of the nice stuff in the laundry all being mine.

On another note, I once complemented her on her outfit, and said I wouldn't mind having an outfit like that. She replied that if I bought an outfit like hers, she would never wear it again. Hmm ...

[Meghan]

My wife has dressed progressively more femininely since I have been out. She says I am giving her inspiration, she's thrown out all of her old, drab cotton undies and has shifted toward silky and tight.

Before, she hated makeup, waited until the last minute to put it on and get dressed, which means no outfit planning and just OK makeup.

We had a very busy social weekend this weekend, and it was INCREDIBLE to see her plan her outfit and take such care with her makeup. She spent extra time on her hair and found a very sexy style. She wore a new pair of earrings we bought together and she looked absolutely radiant all night long (and got lots of compliments).

She talked about this last night, and she credits Meghan for showing her how to take the time and enjoy the process. I take an entire episode of Project Runway to just put my eye makeup on...so she's been watching the process.

Her compliment is probably one of the most significant things anyone has ever said to me. Not only does she accept me as Meghan, but she's inspired by my feminine side. What an incredible and unexpected thing.

Yes, she has changed how she dresses and presents herself to the world, and it's amazing thing to experience.

Meghan

[Eryn]

Over seven years I'd be surprised if anyone's wardrobe didn't change. Everybody evolves and perhaps she isn't feeling as much need to be girly as she did a few years ago. That is her prerogative.

[nevarrie]

I agree with the wardrobe is going to change over time. I know both mine and my wife's has being going a lot more plan over the past few years and it was making both of us sad. My wife new about my love of women's clothing before we started dating so it did not have anything to do with the cd it was just us going from being in our 20s to being in our 30s.

Recently we have starting making out closet a little more sexy again but making it more sexy for our age. Most of this came from me missing going out as a girl so together we having been finding way to be a little more sexy again. It is costing us a little more money which I think was part of what was holding us back for a while and making us buy less sexy and girly things since they do not always seem to be the cheapest.

I would say talk to her about it or even go our and buy her something new.

[Missy]

ever since my wife know witch was before we got married she used to wear dresses and skirts and go commando, now she just wears stretchy pants with granny panties

[bobbimo]

Its a natural phenomena. Dont forget that GG's have already done the sexi clothes and make up phase of their life, But we are still the teenie boppers in the world of dress up.
A GG has to look her age, while we are going for the pretty look. Its not much fun going for the CD look if your going to wear slacks and dress shirts.
However I have noticed that as women ( and men) start to darken their wardrobe, there is some unhappy feelings in their subconscious. It is a worry or fear they have and you could talk to her or when you go shopping, suggest she get a brighter color blouse.
Bobbi

[Kate Simmons]

The only thing that my wife did was put a lock on her wardrobe after I came "out" even though I had my own stuff. Go figure!

[linda allen]

My wife's wardrobe has changed since she "found out" about my dressing, but only because I take her shopping now. Her style hasn't changed, but she now has a lot more clothes.

[Cheryl T]

Funny, but after telling my spouse and her being accepting it's the opposite for us. Her wardrobe has become more feminine and less slacks and T's. She's even taken to wearing wigs to change her look and I must say that we both find it so much fun.

[Lorileah]

Seems to be the average. Most women change the style of clothing, usually citing comfort or that they "should not wear that after a certain age". I don't think you are directing it in any manner. Notice, I said "most". Fashion is something that is dictated by outside forces (even here, you will see a lot of posts for "age appropriate" outfits). My GF didn't buy any of that and wore classy and dressy outfits with heels all her life. She got a a lot of grief from certain women for that too, but so what?

[Annaliese]

Yes she takes mine, when ever she see something she likes, and they are always my favorite. She has given me lots of thing also.

[LadyPilot]

My wife hasn't gone to the drab side but she doesn't dress to the nines very often. She is working a job that is a specific colored pant and top so needless to say she does not have the requirement to dress up; although, she would if that was the dress code. Now she is more than happy to dress to the nines when I do too. Maybe your wife falls into this catagory. I love my wife so she can wear whatever she wants and that will never change the way I feel. LP

[Stephanie47]

When we first had the obligatory discussion about cross dressing and soon thereafter, my wife told me not to buy her sexy lingerie anymore. She thought I was thinking "How would I look in it?" Since then she mellowed. It took her a while to assimilate and understand that my cross dressing has absolutely nothing to do with her. The slinky lingerie is back when appropriate. It may very well be your wife is still processing her knowledge of your cross dressing, especially if you're more insistent about it, conscious or subconsciously.

As to choice of colors, pink and red may be mentally reserved for special holidays, while 'drab' colors are more in tune with fall and winter months. Pastels are usually for spring and summer.

Sexy underwear? It seems from the GG's on this site, most GG's as they mature go for the comfort of cotton.

Recommendation from many GG's: If you're going to buy her a slinky nightie to wear, if it does not come with panties, buy her a matching color panty to go with it. They appreciate it from the point of post sex leakage. You do have the ability to buy her an ensemble to rekindle romance, especially considering Christmas is upon us. Just don't buy for yourself. Giving your wife some sexy lingerie may ultimately give you a clue to her opinion of her thoughts of you in dainty clothes.

[AngoraGirl]

Stephanie and Leanne I can totally relate. My wife definitely makes sure I am no where near her when she's shopping in the women's dept. and she won't even step foot in Victoria's Secret anymore. So frustrating...

[Beverley Sims]

It is possibly her own changing tastes.
If you are growing apart she may not want to seem attractive to you.
Maybe she liked appearing more femenine to you once.
These are extreme thoughts though and I suggest the first line is the reason.

[SandraInHose]

I was always a leg man and had a fetish for pantyhose, and my wife knew this from day 1. She wore pantyhose daily anyway, and would often wear them on the weekends just for me...all was great. Fast forward...we were 17 years into our marriage when she found out about my CD'ing. Since she already knew pantyhose were the catalyst to my dressing, once I told her how often I wear them she stopped wearing them herself almost immediately. Her logic was that as long as I was wearing them daily, then she didn't feel she needed to anymore. Plus, her getting older and gaining weight has dissuaded her from, as she puts it, "squeezing into those sausage casings".

So, for the past nine years she has worn pantyhose about 5-10 times a year instead of 200+ times. Sucks for me! Oh, she still dresses to the nines for work and other events, but she refuses to wear hose or tights except for rare occasions. She has (somewhat) eased up in her dislike of me wearing them regularly, and will even ask to borrow a pair of hose if we have special occasion to attend. But still, I never thought my CD'ing would have such an adverse effect on that part of her wardrobe.

[sami1952]

i've experienced just the oposite. my wife buys more sexy clothes since i came out to her 20 yrs ago.i love it