freedom to dress vs lonely Birthday

[julia ann]

as I sit here with a nice glass of wine, fully dressed and feeling great about my feminine appearance, I can't help but feel all alone and not real happy about my current position in life. today is the 16th anniversary of my 39th birthday and I find myself feeling sorry for my self, even though a few years ago with 3 boys and a wife my freedom to dress was extremly limited, a night of full feminine expression would have been wonderful. My wife works out of town and I very rarely see her anymore one of my boys/men is a Marine in Okinowa did not here from him on my b-day got a text from the one who lives at home and text & phone call from my son who lives away from home. they all know about Julia and while it's no big deal to the boys -they say- my wife is very dead set against what she calls my life choices. Has this feeling of being alone and or forgotten in the world been felt by anyone else or am I just celebrating a big pitty party for my birthday. thanks sorry if this got kinda long winded.

[cdsara]

I know where your coming from I am kinda in the same boat.

[Fran Moore]

Happy 39th Julia! Perhaps you should go out to celebrate? What have you got to lose?

[Dann12]

I've been there before Julia. Not that it would help at this moment, but have you ever attempted to gather any cd friends to go out with?

[RADER]

Happy Birthday, remember you have a good home and family who loves YOU.
Maybe not all of your hobbies, but that can be worked out.
Rader

[Beverley Sims]

If you do it I would just go out shopping.
It is good to know you have your sons for support.
Never do something to freak them out though, they may be big but still fragile.

[JenniferR771]

Michigan girls are the best, Julia. Here is a very happy birthday wish for you. You picture is great. And yes, some women just do not understand...like for instance...my wife. Its not her fault. Just like its not my fault that I look better than her in my best outfits. I was born this way--and now this year--I accept myself.

[Leah Lynn]

Well, Happy Birthday, Girl! I understand completely about the kids; mine rarely call. I was with the Marines on Okinawa, and it used to be difficult at times to call Stateside. The time difference plays in there, too. As far as the wife; mine seemed to run hot and cold. One day it's grow a pair!, then it was , hey get a dress on, we're going to a movie! I know full well the desire, sometimes need, to dress, and used to have to have an occaisional stolen moment to slip something; anything; on. I can't tell you how to handle that situation, but I do hope something can be worked out. I can only offer my moral support.

[Dann12]

I've been there before Julia. Not that it would help at this moment, but have you ever attempted to gather any cd friends to go out with?

And happy birthday...

[Michelle M]

Julia, Happy Birthday from Michigan.
I was alone on my last birthday too (7th anniversary of my 39th), but I did get calls from the kids over the next few days. I have felt the same way as you before, but I know they all have many important things in their lives and although you and I have not become less important to them, we do now have more competition for their attentions than before. (careers, college, service, nintendo...)

[AimeeG]

Happy 39th. My first anniversary is this summer. I too am drinking a nice glass of wine. Cheers sister!

[MeganHenry]

Happy birthday Julia Ann! Count your blessings not everyone has what you have even if it feels disconnected at th present moment. If you haven't heard from everyone you want to "reach out and touch someone" give them a call. Kee in mind all things you do have.

[bridget thronton]

Happy Birthday and many more

[Kate Simmons]

It may not always be ideal but we should value the freedom to be ourselves while we have it. It may not always be that way. If we think that may never happen, think again when considering how things are going. Also recall what we had to go through to enjoy this freedom and seriously ask ourselves if we would want to return to the way it was.

[Jana]

I can't help but feel all alone and not real happy about my current position in life [...]even though a few years ago with 3 boys and a wife my freedom to dress was extremly limited, a night of full feminine expression would have been wonderful.

BEFORE: You had a full nest, but were unhappy for not having privacy to dress.
NOW: You have privacy to dress, but are unhappy for not having company.

Hmmm... do I see a trend of harboring unhappiness there?

What can I say? Now you have the privacy, so make the most of it. At the same time, if you want company, go after it, don't wait for it to find you. People can't read your mind. When was the last time you called your son in the military? What about the other two? You could've suggested to them that you wanted to have lunch, or dinner, or happy hour together, couldn't you? Remember, motion creates emotion!

[Tracie]

Happy B-day Julia. I understand your loneliness. For me after I'm fully dressed it can be anti-climatic if there is no one to show off too, hehe. As someone said below, other CD friends would be sent from above. I always get emotional around the holidays. I guess it is a pity party. But girls are emotional creatures and anything fem I can put in my life is welcome. Hang in there Julia and you've already solved some of your loneliness just being here.

[kimdl93]

Sorry that your birthday is a lonely day for you. All of us understand the difficulty of attaining a balance between our individual needs and our relationships. If you're dissatisfied with the balance where it is today, then think about what you might be able to do to change it.

One suggestion...don't wait for your sons to call you ...reach out to them as often as you can. As for your wife, you may not be able to change her opinion of your choices, but you can continue to engage in conversation. Try to emphasize that she and your sons remain, always, at the core of your life.

[Millie]

Hi Julia. Happy birthday. We didn't choose to be who we are. We just are who we are. The thing that really gets me, is its ok for GG's to dress as men, nothing ever said about that, but if a man dresses as a women its like all hell breaks loose. I thought in these times things would be different. I guess there not. Hang in there.

[Janine cd]

Happy Birthday, Julia Ann. I can appreciate your situation. My wife also does not approve of my choice to dress as a woman. Having only a few opportunities to dress up totally, I relish every moment that I can. I'm raising my glass of wine and toasting our good health.Cheers!

[Stephanie47]

Happy Birthday Julia Ann! I think your loneliness has nothing to do with cross dressing. It's the absence of having someone to help celebrate your day. My recommendation is to dress in the manner which makes you feel the best and vacate the house. Looking at the four walls will do you no good. Even if your wife was accepting, if she is not home, then there still is loneliness.

[RenneB]

Julia,

I've only got you by about a month on being on this rock so that's a great thing right? Anyway, as I've always said to myself in good time and in bad, is to count your blessings.... whether they be health, friends or family. No matter where I am in life's journey, I always seem to know of someone who is having it better than me and those who are not as lucky as me... Remember, any day above the ground is a good day...

Renne......

[justmetoo]

Sorry about your lonely birthday! I know how it can feel. I hope you can find ways to make your birthdyas or other celebrations more enjoyable in the future.

Hear, hear, Renne!

I spend most of my birthdays alone. No wife or kids to share it with, and rarely even an SO. I've learned to make the most of it by getting myself things, making sure I have a meal I love, cake (since I like that), and that I do things I like to do. Anything beyond that is icing on the cake. If I get a card or two from siblings, or a phone call, that's something extra to savor.