i actually went out tonight alone, in a black and white skirt, black blouse, pantyhose and some nice black ballerina type flat shoes and my purse and makeup. I drove to the nearby atm, deposited 2 checks and the drove the long way home. I didnt get out the car, but its a stewp and next time i will.
course on the way back, i was stopping at a local park (830pm) and as i was just getting out, another car w/ a guy in it pulled up. I was Dang! and i drove off.
melissa
Well done, Melissa! A great step!
U went farther than I did the first time.
WOW.
Can we see your outfit????
I tried the self service gas pump. . . . the 3rd time.
Go Girl
id like to have some pics... but my digital cam is broke (wont stay on!) but when i get one, thats the 1st pic im gonna do...
melissa
As the saying goes; The Genie is out of the bottle! Soon you'll be shopping and on to clubbing. As she runs down the street shouting, "Freedom! FREEDOM!"
Good for you, you will be out and about at will in no time
Congratulations! That was a big step.
Good for you hon. It just gets easier and better.
Little steps to some, HUGE steps to others, we all start in some way, shape, or formCongrats on taking another step
Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!
Congratulations, Melissa! You are not alone at this stage in your journey. I'm right there with you. Good luck!
Di
A very good start. Once you have gone out it's Katie bar the doors. Have fun.
Oh yea girl... way to go... There's one thing to remember when driving, when I come up to a stop light, I make sure that I have enough room between my car and the car ahead of me so that when another car comes up next to me, I can adjust so that we don't line up.... Also, I pull over the sun visor over the to the side, yes even at night, just to keep unwanted lookers.... The fact that the car ahead of me has a great view of me in their rearview mirror doesn't seem to bother me as much....yet. LOL...
Renne......
Good Job, I wish I could be that brave. I am to afraid to just post a real avatar. I did post a thread with some real photos some time back. Scary as heck. I did remove them after the thread fell back to the fourth page but I did get some nice comments.
I wonder if Corey Hart was a crossdresser and a similar situation was the ispiration for the song "Sunglasses at Night"
Last edited by Suzy Parker; 12-18-2012 at 10:45 PM.
Ooh, Melissa, I wish I could have been there to hold your hand. I remember the first time I did that; I was quite terrified. But the more often I did it, the easier it got! Kudos to you.
ty all for your support! I have done this before, but almost 14 years ago. i am more confident in whom i am now, and i accept my dressing.
I go out about every week. I love it. Put enough effort in to it, look like everyone expects you to, and you will be mostly ignored.
After all, would YOU confront someone and risk the emotional outburst of an insulted woman?
I have been almost entirely ignored every time I am out. I put a lot of effort in to it to look right. I have been asked about my nail color. The most obvious thing happened in a hotel lobby when one 20s something guy noticed me and mumbled to his buddy who said Oh Yea under his breath. I can deal with that.
Go OUT! It is exciting!
That's great Melissa! It gets better each time!
If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:
Congratulations Melissa. It really does get easier and it stays fun.
Good luck!
-Bree
You felt like a deer in the headlights didn't you?
That fear will soon subside the more you go out.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Well done sounds like a good outfit for running errands
congratulations melissa! I think going out can be really exhilarating^^ acting like Jason Bourne trying not to get "discovered''
good luck and have fun with future outings
Congrats! I remember my first time going out. Horrifying and thrilling, all at the same time!
Good for you Melissa. Aound about the same way I started. Problem is that was in spring and I have only been out twice. The second time I worked up enough guts to stop at a park and snap a few pics. Hope things progress nicely for you and have fun getting out more. Next time you are out for a ride keep heading north and maybe we can go shopping.
As transgendered people many of us lead lives filled with guilt, fear and anxiety. One of the areas where this affects us greatly is shopping. Whether you are a closeted cross dresser or an experienced girl who is out and about on a regular basis you can still harbor anxiety when looking for a new dress, lingerie or shoes. Even now after going out on a regular basis in cites all over the U.S. I still sometimes get butterflies in my stomach when walking into a store.
Before you can even consider going out into the world you will need clothes to wear. There are two ways to shop for clothes either dressed as a woman (enfemme) or as a man (in drab). I’d like to discuss shopping in drab especially for our emerging sisters who want to start building their own wardrobe.
So many girls are embarrassed or fearful about going into a store and buying women’s clothing. Let’s start with a rhetorical question, what you are doing? Answer: You’re buying women’s clothes for yourself. Now that may be atypical, but you certainly aren’t alone. Sales associates I’ve spoken with typically see 2-3 cross dressers a week. So what is it then that keeps you from asking for that LBD in a size 18? I was fearful because I had not made peace with the fact that I was transgender. I felt that there was something wrong or bad about me. Deep down I was ashamed. By admitting it to a sale associate I opened myself up for their disapproval of who I am. Then it dawned on me. I am 52 years old. I am hard working and have a successful career. I am financially successful, I am a dedicated husband and father. I give back to my community and I am active in my church. I strive to be caring, kind, and thoughtful. I don’t drink or abuse drugs. I am honest and trustworthy. This is a part of my personality that has caused me shame and anxiety for years. There are medical and biological reasons for this. It doesn’t make me an awful person, it means I’m different. I won’t feel bad about myself anymore.
Others have lost their power to judge me. I realized that being transgender is no different than being left handed. One of the best ways to free yourself from these fears is to confront them head on by doing some shopping. Dress Barn, Lane Bryant and Fashion bug are great places to start. These stores are TG friendly and have been frequented by our community for years. When you’re shopping in drab I recommend that you dress nicely. Wear clean pressed clothes, be clean shaven, and smile. Don’t show up to try on dresses in dirty work clothes. If I am in drab I like to wear an almost androgynous look, a black knit top and black or khaki pants. You want to depict a positive image. It helps if the likeness they see is a nice man verses, “this guy looks creepy”. Young sales associates are familiar with transgender people. They are typically informed, and probably have friends who are LGBT. They often are the most enthusiastic and even seem to embrace the diversion we present to them. Smile be polite and don’t waste their time if you are not going to buy anything.
Remember you are not the first cross dresser in this store; they want your business and want to help you. If you’re worried about being recognized find a store away from home. Some of the stores that actually have official transgender friendly policies are MAC Cosmetics, Nordstrom’s, and Macys. Fashion Bug, Lane Bryant, Dress Barn, and Payless are all known in our community for being helpful. That being said the worst reaction I ever heard any cross dresser getting from a sales associate was indifference. For example: “You can check over there.”
Here’s an illustration of my most recent trip to a Lane Bryant in New England. I was in drab and had not shopped there before.
Sales Associate: “Hi Good Morning, Can I help you?”
Paula: (Smile, I always smile!) “Hi I’m shopping for Capri pants and a top……. they’re for me.”
Sales Associate: “Do you know your size?”
She didn’t even hesitate. It went great from there on, I bought a nice pair of white Capri pants and asked if I could try them on and also tried several tops but didn’t like any of them. The sales associate asked me my name and told me hers and was excitedly throwing tops over the dressing room door for me to try on.
One of the most liberating moments in my life was for the first time uttering those words “they’re for me” When the words came rolling off my tongue, the world stopped, I could hear the clock ticking and the hum of the air conditioning. I had visions of alarm bells going off and a SWAT team bursting out, but instead I got a smile of approval from the sales associate and a 1000lb burden of guilt was lifted off my shoulders. I had given myself permission to be transgender. It was an epiphany. The problem was in my head, once I got over this I was able to move forward with my evolution as a woman.
If you want to grow, the only way is to take that step. You have to make a decision to move forward in your journey. Don’t feel you need to do this; perhaps you are comfortable where you are now. I personally had reached a point in my life where the guilt and anxiety was suffocating me. Presenting a convincing feminine image takes work, planning, discipline, and dedication. If you do nothing, nothing will change. You will be stuck in that cycle of guilt and regret. If you decide to take that step you will find that your fears were unfounded. This was my experience and also dozens of other girls I have talk to. We all wonder “What were we afraid of?”
After sometime you will have stores and sales associates that become your favorite. My girlfriends and I all look forward to visiting our own much loved sales associate or preferred cosmetic counter for the latest arrival. When you walk thru the mall next time take it all in, the beautiful dresses, the trendy outfits, the pretty shoes and the gleaming cosmetic counters. Then ask yourself who are they for? Now you know the answer. “They’re for me!”
Way to go Melissa. Just stay safe out there. Other than that go have yourself a ball.
If the clothes make the man then the makeup makes the woman.
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