Getting out in 2013

[Karli]

I def think getting out at night in a way feels safer. I know night is when danger can happen but it also hides a lot too don't you think? People might notice less?

Few things/questions on my mind:

1) I'm a little fearful about walking across a parking lot or garage...or at least I think I might be. I would think it sounds intimidating. So for those who have gone out, what was that like the first time? I've heard people mention downtown LV. But seems you would have to park and walk to go anywhere or get to a bar like Drink and Drag, etc.

2) if you are out what is the general reaction from other women?

3) If you are out and are approached by a man how do you handle that? Is it scary? (Seems it isn't be) Have you ever been hit on and how did you react?

[Sarah L]

I def think getting out at night in a way feels safer. I know night is when danger can happen but it also hides a lot too don't you think? People might notice less?

Few things/questions on my mind:

1) I'm a little fearful about walking across a parking lot or garage...or at least I think I might be. I would think it sounds intimidating. So for those who have gone out, what was that like the first time? I've heard people mention downtown LV. But seems you would have to park and walk to go anywhere or get to a bar like Drink and Drag, etc.

2) if you are out what is the general reaction from other women?

3) If you are out and are approached by a man how do you handle that? Is it scary? (Seems it isn't be) Have you ever been hit on and how did you react?

1) Well, my first time was a daylight outing.I went to a place that I didn't think it would be crowded (it wasn't) but it wasn't isolated either. For me, the walk across the parking lot was scary, you have to expect that. You were probably scared the first time you drove. But you didn't let it stop you.

2) Usually, I don't notice any reaction. I just don't pay attention to them. There are a few times when I've noticed them. They keep on going wherever they are going. One woman gave me the once over this weekend, but she didn't say anything. As far as cashiers in a store, they don't act like there is anything out of the ordinary. A couple of times there has been a reaction, but they recover quickly.

3) Never been aproached by a man (thankfully). If a guy hits on you, it probably means you blend in pretty well. So it might be a good thing.

Remember, they are more afraid of you, then you are of them.

You know, I think getting out dressed as a female is kind of like an innocent man breaking out of a prison. He's trying to gain his freedom while the cops are trying to pull him back to his cell. The difference is that you are the one trying to force yourself back into submission.

This is your escape and we are all rooting for you. Go Get 'Em!

[Launa]

First 2 times out for me was to a gay bar with my wife but now she doesn't care to go out with me.
So now I go out solo and I feel like a different person, anything goes....When I put on my dress I feel like a locomotive that has just been feuled up. I have been going out at night and it doesn't bother me walking across a parking lot or anything but I want to change that up in a month. I'm going to hit the street during the day!

[JessicaMN]

this is also something i want to do this year.

[Samantha_Smile]

I too plan to make 2013 'The Year'.
Nothing major, but I think I want to get out to a CD/TV club in south England called Pink Punters.
Seems to cater well to the CD crowd and many of my friends tell me it's great. So when it's less chilly here, Samantha's getting outdoors in a dress!

Good luck to all who plan to get out this year too

[Celeste]

I would definitely suggest finding a companion to go out with the first time.I had to be kinda dragged out my first time,I was way to scared to just go out on my own.I was fortunate in meeting a fellow girl who lived just a few hours away whom I invited for a visit.We hit it off right away but did not go out that night.For our next visit I traveled to her area where she knew a cdtg friendly establishment..it was to be my first night out.

I was absolutely petrified,my heart racing a million miles an hour as we went into the bar.....it really felt like skydiving with a compromised chute.She put her arm around me as we went in and said.."are you ok..we can go back to the room if your not ok".At that point,all the apprehension left me and her affection sent a warm glow all over me.The evening out was wonderful,but that that genuine moment of someone caring for me will last forever.

[Karli]

I'd certainly like to find someone to go out with that first time because I do think it could make things easier. Is a gay bar a good place to start since I imagine it would be TG safe. Is that true? What are other people's experience?

[Jenniferathome]

3) If you are out and are approached by a man how do you handle that? Is it scary? (Seems it isn't be) Have you ever been hit on and how did you react?

Karli, this just happened to me last week and I shared it already but I'll reiterate here. I was out, in daytime, and a guy approached and complimented on my legs (I was in denim skirt). I did what I think any any woman would do: I turned and walked away without saying anything. Don't worry about it, it is so unlikely, like planning for a car crash.

THE most important thing is to walk with confidence. Don't think "I'm out dressed." You're just walking. Walk like you belong. That will make you feel more comfortable. It really is not that big of a deal. 99.999% of people will just walk past without a second thought. Don't worry about the .001%

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Las Vegas is the best place to start be yourself and go with a group of girls it will be more fun and you will feel more relaxed.

[Chickhe]

The best thing to do it make small steps...maybe just go for a drive or a short trip somewhere close to home. This gives you time to perfect and reflect on your image. Then once you feel confidend enough do larger outings. The main thing that pushed me outside was the nagging feeling that I just had to do something other than being scared the rest of my life. I took the plunge and just kept getting better at it and I learned a lot. Now I feel great and CDing is actually a lot smaller part of my life emotionally.

[Lynn Marie]

[SIZE="3"]I was fortunate enough to have met a CD girlfriend right here on Crossdressers.com. This lovely lady came over to visit one evening and the following Friday she came over and out we went to an LGBT club in a city about 40 minutes south. What an amazing experience, and what fun having someone to share it with. I'm still pretty partial to going out with friends. I can, but I rarely go out alone.[/SIZE]

[Annette_boy]

Hi Hon

My first outing as Annette was in a group I was lucky there were about 11 of us .
A CDer I met on line was doing a girls night out and invited me I accepted . It was thrilling to be out as me.
That first step out the apartment door however was a tough one.I learndt one thing instantly with that first step:
1 No Sirens
2 No spotlights
3 No voice on loudspeaker yelling Achtung!! TRANNY!! TRANNY!!
4 No Guard dogs
5 No Guards to lock me up
It was my front door not Colditz that I was going out of and the fear left not to return thankfuly that was in 2005 right after I joined this site.
With the passage of time and the wonderful folk here I am now out and about full time. Fulltime might not be Karri's path or goal,we each have our own level of comfort .Just remember the first step is the hardest and our own fear is our worst enemy.
Hugs Annette

[GinaD]

I def think getting out at night in a way feels safer. I know night is when danger can happen but it also hides a lot too don't you think? People might notice less?

Few things/questions on my mind:

1) I'm a little fearful about walking across a parking lot or garage...or at least I think I might be. I would think it sounds intimidating. So for those who have gone out, what was that like the first time? I've heard people mention downtown LV. But seems you would have to park and walk to go anywhere or get to a bar like Drink and Drag, etc.

2) if you are out what is the general reaction from other women?

3) If you are out and are approached by a man how do you handle that? Is it scary? (Seems it isn't be) Have you ever been hit on and how did you react?

Always consider being as safe as possible. Remote, dark areas are usually not safe for man or woman. Use your natural instincts. If you are not comfortable, don't venture there.

I have had mixed results from women. Comes with the game. Most don't really care one way or the other unless you are hitting on their SO.

The first time a man focused on me, I couldn't help going into panic mode as I was very young and hadn't thought that one out. After I watched girls deal with it, I would be polite but direct. If I was interested or not. Only on a few occasions did I experience someone being a jerk. Discretion being the better part of valor, I made a tactical retreat and sought entertainment elsewhere.

[Karli]

Always consider being as safe as possible. Remote, dark areas are usually not safe for man or woman. Use your natural instincts. If you are not comfortable, don't venture there.

I have had mixed results from women. Comes with the game. Most don't really care one way or the other unless you are hitting on their SO.

The first time a man focused on me, I couldn't help going into panic mode as I was very young and hadn't thought that one out. After I watched girls deal with it, I would be polite but direct. If I was interested or not. Only on a few occasions did I experience someone being a jerk. Discretion being the better part of valor, I made a tactical retreat and sought entertainment elsewhere.

How did you handle it? I guess that is why I wanted to think it out myself so I won't panic either. How have the experiences been with men who give you attention good or bad?

[Sarah L]

One thing you might not have thought about.
If you are concerned about running into guys, going out at night is the right way to do it. When you pull into a parking lot, you can see who is in the place.Try a convenience store. You will see who is working the counter(unless they have gone in back). If it's a guy, you can keep on going. I have done this kind of thing.

When I was still trying to dig up the courage, I did this alot. Subway restaurants are good for this,too. Since they don't have a typical fastfood kitchen, the person you would be running into is usually visible through their windows.

Just something to think about.

[docrobbysherry]

You'll get to meet and party with 75 to 100 T girls from all over the US.

It's in April. Here's the link: http://www.geekbabe.com/dlv/

What people don't realize is, the saying, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas", applies to EVERYONE not just T girls!

I got hit on at the far end of a casino parking building late at nite at the last DLV. And, I mean ME! Not Sherry!
A very big, young guy. He was insistant and polite. I was lucky but it scared the crap out of me!

If it happened to me, ANYONE could get hit on there!

[Joni T]

The first time out is the scariest. It does get easier with time. All good advice given here. The biggest thing is to dress appropriately for the venue you're going to. I used to wear heels and a skirt no matter where I was going. Now however, I've come to like the more casual look, i.e. skinny jeans and knee boots. That's what the women here wear mostly and I blend in better too and that's the secret--to blend in, not stand out in a crowd. I'm 6'6" in my bare feet but I love 3-4" heels so I'm almost 7' in height when dressed. It DOES bring some looks and the OCCASIONAL snicker or wolf-whistle but I haven't been accosted yet. I did get hit on once by one of the security guards at the mall. I was reading a book and he asked if I was seeing any one. In my best femme voice (practice this until you get a fairly good one--the voice is important) I told him no. He then asked if I'd like to join him for a cup of coffee (now I'm on cloud 9) and again, in my best femme voice politely refused his offer, that I just wanted to sit there and read my book. He said ok and walked away, and that was that. By the way, it really DID happen--this isn't a fantasy. Take all of the advice given here and have a good time. Keep us all informed. Remember one thing, we were all new to this at one time and we've all survived to tell about it. You go girl !!!
Joni

[AllieSF]

You have gotten some good advice so far. I also echo the benefit short term and long term of finding a friend to go with, another CD, a GG, a guy friend who knows your secret. My first time out was with two ladies I met on this site, one, Cissy (WindyCissy) is a good friend of mine and we always get together when she is in town for business. Yes, I was more anxious than nervous or afraid. I just wanted to have a great time out that first time, and it worked.

I have been to gay bars here near San Francisco and in Michigan. I have never been hit on, or if I have been, I didn't realize it! Gays in general have no interest in CD's. They want men and boys without women's clothes. Getting hit on is also a non-event if you handle it right. Now, I am assuming that this might happen in a public place versus a dark alley. So, to me safety would not be an issue. Just learn how to say, "Thanks and I am not interested." It works every time.

I also like the idea of building up to a big evening out. It took me a long time to go out during the day when at night you do not need perfection in makeup nor outfit. Dress down rather than up with comfortable shoes. Why tempt a disaster when walking and tripping and the subsequent embarrassment.

Good luck and enjoy.