I came out to my wife recently after hiding it from her for 12 years. Then I joined this forum and found kindred spirits, gushing about my wonderful wife. Well, she is and will always be wonderful, and has been very understanding. This has done wonders for our sex life, but she has begun to establish boundaries. She doesn't mind shaved legs or hose, and actually finds that sensual and definitely appreciates what it has done for my libido, but she is not thrilled with seeing me in stiletto pumps--though she knew I was going to purchase them and wanted to see me in them after they arrived. It was somewhat contradictory because she said she loved the shoes, that they looked great on me, and that she would even like one pair for herself in her size, but in the next breath called me "crazy" and said they made my legs look overly feminine, and that she didn't want to see me like that! Not quite sure I understand how freshly shaved legs in brand new sheer hose is not already feminine, but whatever--I want to keep her happy. She also has said that she expects me to allow my leg hair to regrow by the time warmer weather arrives, and I will definitely make sure that happens.
It has been wonderful the last few weeks but there are always lines, and I have crossed a few. I had purchased her some beautiful clothes from BCBG Maxazria for Christmas, including some gorgeous pencil skirts. Some items were not her exact size...when we went to exchange them I made the mistake of saying "offhand" that I would love to buy a skirt like that for myself. I figured it was OK to say that because just a few days before she said how nice my legs looked in the hose and heels, and how all I needed to complete the look was a skirt. I agreed, and she said she had an old, stretchy one someplace she would get for me. That never happened and I didn't push the issue, but the comment in the store when she was in full-on shopping mode made her furious. She interpreted--incorrectly--that I bought her those clothes only because I secretly wanted them for myself. That wasn't true--my wife is a babe and she looked super-hot; it just stimulated a desire in me and I made the comment.
It was a bad night. She drew the line and said she never wanted to see me in a skirt or a dress, or anything else but pantyhose or stockings--and sometimes heels. She said the hose was part of the intimate experience and she enjoyed the slick, sensual feel (and that shaving was necessary to achieve that) but that a skirt would cross the line into dressing like a woman, which she wanted no part of. She said she would see me differently, "no longer a man". I told her she was way more important to me that this occasional urge--which is entirely true--and that I didn't want to do anything to push her away.
I think there were several problems with making that comment while shopping. Even though I had freshly shaved legs and was underdressed with a new pair of hose--this done after we made love and were bathing and dressing together--the issue was that I was selfish and twisted the situation to be about me when she was enjoying her great new clothes. In retrospect, the last thing she wanted to hear when trying on those skirts was that I wanted one just like them. I thought that was being truthful with her, but it obviously annoyed her to think that, rather than telling her how awesome she looked, I was thinking of how I would look in that skirt. To be fair, I had already gushed how beautiful she was and how spectacular her legs looked, but then I ruined it.
Reading through posts of GGs here, I have started to realize just how accommodating she has been, and how I moved too fast for her. I have learned a valuable lesson and am definitely going to turn it down several notches.
I am very much in love with my wife, humbled by the experience, and feel terrible that I took advantage of her understanding.
Two steps forward, one back. Happy to be out to her, but slowly reaching equilibrium, I hope.
Has anyone else had a similar situation?
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