Dressing can be a means to an end in itself but sometimes time spent en femme leads us to fantasies with the way we would like things to be.
I know as a young boy, my main goal with dressing was to look nice as a girl. My fantasies at that time were mostly what it would be like if I was born a girl. In those days my primary goal as a GG would have been growing up, dating, finding Mr. Right, falling in love and settling down as a wife and mother to have and raise my children.I saw that was somewhat out of reach, however, as even learning about Christine Jorgensen, et. al. was showing me that there were limitations even if I transitioned surgically.
I ended up going into the work force, going into the Army, serving my time, meeting a woman, falling in love, getting married, supporting my family, career, mortgage, the usual. Even so, beneath the surface while CDing in the closet for years, I still fantasized about being a striking woman, dating and eventually settling down with a good man.
Eventually, I neared retirement and decided to come out openly and joined a TG organization. This gave me the needed boost to finally breath some life into some of my dreams and fantasies. It essentially ended my marriage though but once I came out there was no turning back. I had to find out who I was and what I was going to do. I actually became a measure of a performer which is what I had always hoped to do. I pretty much lived my fantasies as much as I could in a manner of speaking when I was dressing 24/7. It's almost as if I really did get married to a wonderful guy and had children.
Nowadays, I'm pretty settled and don't need to prove anything to myself or anyone else and am a happy Grandpa but even so, I'm a happy Grandma, even if not openly, who loves and cherishes her family. I can't visualize living just one way or the other, as a guy or girl, I have to be both. In any case fantasy is free and there when we need it. How are you in this regard?
