My Little Adventure

[Ariamythe]

I won't lie. A few days ago I was ready to bolt back into my little closet and forget I'd ever explored this thing. But let me tell you about my day today.

I've been seriously trying to embrace this side of myself all week, and this morning I woke up emboldened. It was going to be a boring office work day (I'm usually in front of an audience, but that begins next week), so I decided to try a little "underdressing" for the first time. I dug out my little secret stash, which I hadn't touched in three months, and got out my hose. No one else was awake, so I had the bathroom to myself. I lotioned my legs, slid the hose on, and wore them under my work slacks.

Walking into work was interesting. I was hyper-aware of the feel of the nylon on my legs, not to mention the sounds -- walking was noticeably nosier than without hose on and every audible swish of the hose against the fabric of the pants was like the Tell-Tale Heart to my ears. And the static! My slacks began to stick to my legs despite the morning lotioning and I was sure someone would notice. Luckily I'd grabbed the can of Cling-Free at home because I knew this might be a problem (thanks, Internet!). Still, I was super nervous all morning, even though my legs were under a desk in a side office I share with no one.

Then I had to go to the bathroom, and encountered another little problem -- if I let my pants drop all the way down, someone might see the hose from under the stall! So I hitched them around my knees ... and noticed runs in both legs. My only pair ...

Tragic end to my bold little step, right?

Only at lunchtime I had to run to the local box store to get something ... and I got bold again. I was thinking about losing my last pair of hose, and I began circling the women's section, browsing whatever was nearby, scoping things out. And just as I was screwing up the courage to approach the Just My Size packages I saw something -- right there in an easy-to-grab-and-go corner, they'd stocked some lace-topped black thigh-highs. Not elegant or expensive, but they immediately enticed me. Not letting myself overthink it, I quickly leafed through them, found a size I thought was mine, and stashed them in my cart.

Checking out was stressful. I was hoping the store would have self-checkout lines, but no luck. I almost left them behind. I'd had my excuse covered if someone said something about the plain hose ("I told my wife I was coming here and she asked me to pick her up a pair") but I'm not sure that would fly with the lacy thigh-highs. Maybe I could make it lewd and suggestive -- "It's date night tonight, and I thought I'd pick the missus up something, know what I mean, wink wink?" Yeah, that would do it.

So I put my items on the counter, the hose at the bottom. The cashier was chatty. "Hello, sir! Find everything okay? Is it still cold out?" It was all very cordial ... and then she picked up the thigh-highs. And she muttered, I kid you not, "Things have gotten very peculiar around here the last few minutes." I just avoided looking at her, made my purchases, smiled, and walked away.

So many of you here are so much more experienced than I am at all this, that my story probably seems trivial. Sorry for blathering on about it. But really, what I'm trying to say with this is that, even just reading and participating here the last few days has helped me do something I wouldn't have done before. The last time I tried to do something like this, I chickened out and got caught up in a shame spiral that had me cramming my few meager items in a box in the basement. But underdressing today, and buying those thigh-highs, felt better than I thought it would. By the end of the day I wasn't hyper-aware of the hose under my pants; I was comfortable in them. I was comfortable, period.

So I guess I'm sticking around here for awhile. I tend to be a long-winded storyteller, so if I toss up too many of these kinds of posts just tell me "tl;dr" and I'll dial it down. But in the meantime, thanks. Even a couple of days of a supportive community has been wonderful.

[JBPerry]

once you start doing it more often, it becomes easier and easier.....i remember when i first started doing it with my wife....she didnt have a problem with it but it was still nerve-wracking!

[Keri L]

Every time I go to the bathroom (for a sit down), I worry about someone seeing my flowery or leopard print panties, but you can kind of hide them by burying them in your trousers. Then, I also think, someone really shouldn't be checking out my panties!

Sorry about the horizontal picture! I am somewhat computer illerate, I suppose!

[Camille15]

Good for you, and congrats on your shopping adventure! It does get easier, and you stop caring about making an excuse so much. You also find that most cashiers don't say a thing, or really care. Once, and only once, I got a funny look from some older female cashier. If in doubt, buy it with a few other items, and play on your phone while they check out the items, so they can't make eye contact.

[AmyGaleRT]

Another alternative is to shop where they have self-checkout registers. I did that a week or so ago, bought two bras along with some other things at Walmart. I've bought makeup, jewelry, hair accessories, and other things that way, too.

- Amy

[JBPerry]

Another alternative is to shop where they have self-checkout registers. I did that a week or so ago, bought two bras along with some other things at Walmart. I've bought makeup, jewelry, hair accessories, and other things that way, too.

- Amy

unfortunately amy, none of the walmarts here have self-checkout....i get away with it by telling anybody that asks its either for my niece or my sister in law

[Ariamythe]

Sorry about the horizontal picture! I am somewhat computer illerate, I suppose!

If you've got a Windows PC, you should be able to open that pic in Paint and do a quick rotate 90 on it.

Another alternative is to shop where they have self-checkout registers.

It seems none of the Walmarts in the area have them (this was a Walmart). I've been told that the ones near the city don't have them for merchandise security reasons (i.e. stealing), but this was in the wealthier neighborhood where I work and they still didn't have them. I'm kind of glad, as it means I got my first cashier "creepy guy" comment out of the way. Hopefully it will bother me less next time.

[AmyGaleRT]

It seems none of the Walmarts in the area have them (this was a Walmart). I've been told that the ones near the city don't have them for merchandise security reasons (i.e. stealing), but this was in the wealthier neighborhood where I work and they still didn't have them.

It's a mixed bag around here, Ariamythe. Some of the Walmarts have them, some don't, and some that didn't have been recently installing them.

One of the local grocery stores also has self-checkout registers, and they stock my brand of makeup (L'Oreal). Much of my makeup was acquired that way. (One of their stores even has a rack of cute French hair accessories! Bonus! )

- Amy

[Ariamythe]

There's a major regional chain around here that has self-checkout in every store. In the past, when I've gotten the courage to buy hose, it's been via self-checkout. Believe me, I wish I'd been in one of those stores at that moment yesterday!

[Celeste]

You probably will never receive any comments again and shouldn't. Most cashiers I've dealt with know it's absolutely none of their business what you purchase or whom you may be purchasing it for.Keep trying other stores and just pick up one item here and there...lashes,lipstick,more hose maybe.Try to get yourself more used to it, after all,it really doesn't matter what they feel or say.Carrying a little shortlist helped me get over that feeling at first,it's a sure sign you are shopping for someone else.

But eventually you will want to get to the point where you do look them in the eye and actually dare them to mention anything whatsoever.If anyone ever gives you anymore trouble at a register just say...thank you,I'll be sure to let the manager know how you made me feel horrible for purchasing something for my disabled wife.

[Angela Campbell]

Exactly. If a cashier said something like that to me I would have questioned her. I would have said..."what do you mean?" This would have put the shame back on her where it belongs. You have every right in the world to purchase any item in the store, the reasons why are not her or anyone elses business. I have been buying from the womens section for over 30 years. I used to do all the shopping for my wives, back when I was married. I get a comment maybe once every hundred times and it is usually a very slight one like...."oh it must be somebodys birthday"......or something like that. I was once asked...".these are not for you I hope"......I told her it was for me and the conversation just ended there. Still most of the time they don't even notice what you are buying because they are bored out of their minds and are just hoping for quitting time to come.

[Raychel]

Just go in, pick out what you want and pay for them. Act like you know what you want and pay.
Simple, if there is a problem, put your cash back in your pocket and walk out.

There won't be any problems, they want your money.

[kimdl93]

Everyone starts somewhere. Don't let the cashiers comments deter you. Next time, be really bold, and say you were runnig short of stockings. It won't seem nearly as weird to her if you're relaxed about your purchase.

[jjjjohanne]

There is a missing element to your "first shopping experience" story... Normally there is a section where the CD circles the cashier's area trying to determine which cashier is the least likely to react to your purchase. I always found older women to be more reassuring when I shopped in the early days. The last few times I bought pantyhose, I was wearing a skirt, and it was at the hanes brands store. I don't think I have bought pantyhose while wearing pants in a few years because I buy 5 or 10 pairs at a time. I've forgotten what it used to be like to shop.

[happypanty]

I do a lot of the shopping for underthings for both me and the wife. And its very obvious which is for me and which is for her. My stuff is from vs or another store like that and hers is from lane bryant. Lol. Ill walk around the mall with both bags. Nobody has ever said anything bout it.

[Jamie Christopher]

Good for you and great story. Smiles at the register help a lot, and a quizzical response like "what, don't you like these" has helped me in the past. I just act like I've done this a 100 times before...

Thanks for sharing,

Jamie

[Andinera]

90% of the shopping I do these days is for my female side. I was actually at the mall the other day with an arm full of bags, notiiceable to anyone that either I was not normal or I really love my GF. I.E. VS, Sephora, Macys, and a few more. I walked around like I belonged and knew exactly what I was doing. Granted I did it all in drab. I'm stil too scared to show my face in public en femme. Everyone near me knows me and there aren't any females who live nearby so if I got caught, hell would come down.

[genevie]

First time two days ago shopping. I bought jeans and shopped for shoes. I didn't like the colors in my size. I bought a new razor and some makeup. I was a little nervous. But lately, I've thought that I have spent way too much time in my life doing the "supposed to" stuff. When I checked out, she didn't care. I felt great.

[Ariamythe]

There is a missing element to your "first shopping experience" story... Normally there is a section where the CD circles the cashier's area trying to determine which cashier is the least likely to react to your purchase.

Guilty, actually, but omitted for storytelling purposes. She was a middle-aged black woman. The other express checkout cashier was a dude. That felt weird, so I went with her.

[GinaD]

I had a similar experience at a KMart when I was buying some underthings and a bikini. When she started to ring things up, she loudly announced, "These are for you! I was in guy mode at the time and there were several people in line. I replied, "Since you have decided to be a rude (c-word), you can keep them." I walked out and never came back. This was the only time I have ever had a really embarassing moment. I have had much more experience with helpful people when shopping for makeup, clothes, wigs, or shoes.

[Bree Wagner]

Everyone's gotta start somewhere. I remember lots of similar experiences when I was starting out as well and often chickening out if there wasn't a self checkout or I just didn't want whatever I had my eye on badly enough. It really does get easier though.

I'm glad you're finding this little corner of the world helpful to your confidence. Many of us have followed in the footsteps of others and it can really make a difference. Good luck on your next purchase!

-Bree

P.S. Don't worry about the long posts! I may have written a novel or two here and haven't been excommunicated yet!

[Kelly Smith]

The last time I shopped for clothes at Walmart, I just just shopped for women's clothing the same way a GG would. I took time to examine labels, colors and sizes, tried on blouses and jeans, and ended up with a surprisingly cute bra, a half dozen microfiber bikini panties, a blouse, a waist cincher, a camisole, lipstick and matching nail polish. The other shoppers and the SA treated me like they would have treated anyone else. The checker was cheerful and friendly. This was in a small town in a very red western state.

The trick is to behave normally. Shop for lacy bras the same way you would shop for work gloves. The store's employees and customers take their cues from you. If you behave as if it is no big deal and you belong, they'll figure that it is no big deal and you belong. If you are furtive and behave as if you expect to be perceived as a pervert, you will be perceived as a sneaky pervert.

Occasionally you will get a little static. That's their problem.

[Caroline C]

I've always purchased mixed his, hers items and never had a problem at checkout. Maybe a comment like I hope she likes them and I will reply I hope she does too because I'm paying for them. An excuse I've never needed to use was she didn't want to wait in line and is getting the car. When browsing the women's section even when it was with my former GF there always seems to be one customer that would give you the look like you didn't belong there and were invading her space. Sales associates are always willing to help. Sometimes I wonder if they head for the single guy to really help about something he doesn't (shouldn't) know about or to try to figure out who the purchase is for. Either way always friendly and helpful. One fun time I had was when my ex was going through the end of season clearance racks and had me looking for stuff for her. There was another guy doing the same for his wife and you could see he would rather be in the power tool section but Kohls doesn't have one. It didn't take long before we were carrying on holding up ugly items and shouting across the room how about this. The ladies were laughing along with a few other customers. There were a few who didn't like the invasion of their space and left.

[LaraPeterson]

Hi Ariamythe,

Oh how that reminds me of the good-ole days, when I was scared s-less to buy anything feminine. Let me tell you how I got over it. One early morning shopping for heels in a local store (I figured less people, less questions), I found a pair of stilettos I loved--in red patent, size 10. I carried them to the checkout and a nice lady pulled them out of the box to do the obligatory size match investigation. She looked me straight in the face and asked jokingly, "Are these for you?" I answered very seriously, "As a matter of fact they are." Now, she was scared s-less. I'm sure she was thinking, "How do I respond to this?" Instead, she took my credit card, finished the transaction, and handed me the receipt without ever making eye contact again.

Now, when I go to Wallyworld, I pick up makeup, mascara, eyelashes, polish, makeup remover, face cloths, lipstick, blush, eye shadow--you get the idea, and just hope someone asks me if it's for me. For sure, the more you do it, the easier it gets. And after a while you just don't care what anyone thinks. Still, I applaud your courage and don't think for a moment you need to dial anything down.

In the short time I've been here, I've learned more than in the past several years. This is a great place to be.

[Betty_42]

Well you get used to buying girlie things, I'll say that much. However, I actually have a mental disorder that makes it so that I legitimately don't care what others may think. You should come shopping with me sometime! I'm bold! I've been known to try on bras over my shirt right there in the aisle and I don't care who sees me! In fact, there was this one time back when I was trying to find out which bra size to get and I finally found a perfect fit right? (36A) I immediately walked over to my mother-in-law in the next aisle and just said, "Look Barbra! A perfect fit!" I think she could've just died right then and there! It was great!