I need advice, please......Jamsey has disappeared :(

[Jamsey]

I just heard from a dear friend I haven't commuciated with in awhile and what I wrote to her is below. I explained to her what is happening with me and I would appreciate any advice, suggestions, insights, etc from fellow sisters who may have experienced something like this already.
Thank you and a big hug for all.
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Sitting around the house, bored and lonely....lol...

Jamsey has disappeared and I'm worried for her. Not that we were completely schizo, but in the last couple of years I let her out and gave her free reign, she had unprecedented opportunities to develope into a person and develope her feminine personality. She was going out to the malls dressed, becoming more comfortable with it, even if it was late at night and she could tell she was made. Plus, as you know. going out dancing at the various clubs, was her fav. She was happy and I was happy, when we were out.



I think the pressure of my wife being fired and the financial strain we are under, may have something to do with it. I gave up therapy a few years ago, because I thought it was not helping at all, as well as the medication that came with the therapy. Instead, for my therapy, I substituted shopping. Shopping made me feel much more a person and allowed Jamsey and myself to accept her.It was exciting, with the danger of being exposed, the thrill of trying on outfits and clothes in the stores, etc. And we purchased a lot of very nice clothes.



Jamsey was forced to face just how much clothes were purchased over the last few years when one of the clothing racks I had in my storage unit collapsed under the weight. So I got new ones and started sorting and hanging the clothes. Slowly came the realization that we had more clothes than we could wear for the rest of our life. Also, we had a couple of outfits that were duplicates, though different sizes. fat and not so fat. lol How many skirts does a person need? How many little black dresses does a person need? though I really like them all, Tops, sweaters, sandals, shoes and boots with questionable fits. and Dresses, of all different sizes and styles, colors and lengths. It was really depressing because how could we justify buying more when we had so much already. Jewelry, panty hose, make-up. just wow. If I can no longer afford my storage unit what the heck will I do with them. I think rent a very small one and just jam it full.



I have tried dressing a few times, but it is not the same without her, not as satisfying, the craving to dress just isn't there. Maybe we were more schizo then I thought. I do miss her. What if she is gone for good? How will I handle this loss in my life?

Well, enough of that.



Anyway it is very good to hear from you. I was concerned, based on your last e-mail to me. I wanted to honor what you were going through and what was happening in your life so I did not make an attempt to contact you, though I did start an occasional e-mail but backed out right away.



I hope you are doing well, I would like to know more what is going on with you and to keep in contact with you. If Jamsey comes back you will be the first to know. I still have not accepted her disappearance.

Big hug,



Jamsey's alter ego.

[Fashionista]

Most of the things wear off with time, and when other things are more pressing, crossdressing may take a back seat.
Think of Maslows hierarchy of needs:



The pyramid works quite simple: If one of the most basic building blocks is not fulfilled, the others lose their relevance. If you cannot breathe because you are drowning in the sea (physiological needs), your last worry is whether you have a job. If you suffer from health problems (safety and security), you are probably less inclined to go to social events and socialize (love and belonging).

Your basic physiological needs are fulfilled, but you currently seem to be under a lot of stress regarding your financial situation, which belongs to the "safety and security" part. This is one of the most basic building blocks. Jamsey is actually a part of the "self-actualization" piece, and therefore gets lost at the moment. Once your safety and security part is back on track, she will very likely return.

Nonetheless, if your clothing rack collapsed, you may want to consider selling some of the stuff you bought on ebay. Now is a good time to take a realistic look at what you really like and what you just bought because Jamsey felt she needed to have it, but never actually used it that much. This would allow you to feel better about Jamsey not taking over the driver's seat completely, and would make Jamsey appreciate more of the things she has left.

If you get some of the money back you invested in Jamsey, you may want to invest it to have a nice dinner with your wife - having a stable relationship is the most precious part which is not easily restored.