My goal, has never been to be feminine, but to be myself, whether that seem masculine or feminine. I have tried just letting myself be, in certain situations. But my male programming is so strong, that I tend to stay in a partially rigid shut down male self, unless I actively shake up my way of being. So I found it very growthful to specifically work at being girly in specific ways. Once I am free, and feel like I have full permission to be masculine or feminine, that I can see who I really am.
One specific way I am living this out right now, is with the way my body moves. Even though my body is pretty loose for a male bodied person, I still sense a tightness and rigidity around my shoulders and chest, and around my jaws and my face sometimes. I have to practice either relaxing those areas, or specifically allowing myself to move in a girly way, to get those areas to free up.
Especially when I dance, I am learning to move my hips and torso in ways that are sensual, sexy, not just for other people, but for me, how it feels in my body. Sometimes I will emulate a specific woman on the dance floor, and I have been practicing dancing like the female images in the Wii game, Just Dance 4, especially the Hip shaking and thrusting in "Umbrella" and the sexy hand movements in "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You"
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