“I like to wear women’s clothes...”

[Frédérique]

It’s too bad that you can’t say, “I like wearing women’s clothes…” and just leave it at that, but I guess this simple statement must really baffle women. I think it’s a good, honest, truthful ice-breaker, a first step towards a longed-for discussion about crossdressing. It’s also a good litmus test to see if you should go any further, or withdraw back from whence you came. Watch those facial expressions!

[SIZE="2"]The few times I have told people about my crossdressing, I’ve either said, “I’m a transvestite,” or “I’m a crossdresser,” but what I should have said was, “I like to wear women’s clothes,” and get right to the heart of the matter, neatly sidestepping all the terminology and labels that society inconveniently provides...

Women’s clothes have always fascinated me, and I eventually wore them, becoming a MtF crossdresser by doing so. In my case, MtF is a bit misleading, because I just put on women’s clothing, as an end in itself, and no transformation takes place. I look infinitely better, I feel much better, and I like how I feel, but I am still just a boy in girl’s clothes. The truth is I worship the clothes, I believe they are imbued with magic, and, no matter how uncomfortable they may be at times, I believe in their power to heal me. I am a prime example of a fetishist. If truth is beauty, then I create a truth I can barely begin to understand by wrapping myself in the beautiful...

A lot of this magic comes about because of the fact that I, a male, am not supposed to be wearing women’s clothing. I never fail to get a “buzz” out of crossdressing, and I’m not talking about a periodic sexual thrill. No, there’s some kind of regained innocence, or self-made vulnerability going on, whereby I wear something completely different and enjoy that difference. The tactile sensations created by women’s clothes are transcendental, and I go on a “trip” of sorts when I feel something really nice touching my skin. I become more aware of everything during my voyage, and even my drab male surroundings seem extraordinary – it’s pure magic, created by the simplest of means...

You sometimes hear someone admit that they have “experimented” with drugs at sometime in their life, but few would say, “I have experimented with crossdressing.” I could add a worn-out clichéd phrase like, “I'm trying to find myself,” but I’m just wearing women’s clothes and enjoying the experience. I like it when female underwear is hugging me, and I like it when my legs are encased in super-smooth hosiery. I like it when my waist is accented, when my chest is enhanced, and when my knees are peeking out from under the hem of a skirt. I especially like it when air comes spiraling up my legs, now open to such sensations, and my masculine urges shrink away to nothing. It is a home-made magic show, pure and simple...

But, what woman could possibly understand this simple notion: “I like to wear women’s clothes?” Surely the poor guy has a mental or emotional problem, and he needs help to correct it, or he thinks he’s a woman, or he wants to be a woman. When I came out to my girlfriend many years ago, the first thing she asked me was, “Do you want to become a woman?” I said no. I tried to explain that I just like to wear women’s clothing, which seemed to put her off a bit, i.e. there is no decent explanation for what I do, so I must definitely have a problem of some sort. She didn’t want a man with “a problem,” so we drifted apart. Is it a problem? Not in my view, but how can you accurately describe this innocent magic you feel, time after time, by simply donning the “wrong” clothes? It may be impossible to do so. Do you believe in impossible things?

Even here, on a site for crossdressers, I must BE something. I can’t just crossdress. I can’t just enjoy the act of dressing-up as a pleasant experience. Maybe crossdressing is too personal to share with others. It defies description, after all, and it is NOT self-explanatory. I think from now on I will say, if asked, “I like to wear women’s clothes...” and leave it at that. Let them figure it out. I mean, that’s how it came about, and that’s how it still is. Magical crossdressing has sustained me, and will continue to do so. When I’m getting ready to die, please dress me up in my finest femme things, and don’t ask any questions – I know nobody will understand how it feels, or what it means to me...

They say all you need is LOVE, but I need a little magic (via crossdressing) as well. How about you? [/SIZE]

[ReineD]

[SIZE="2"]
Women’s clothes have always fascinated me, ...[/SIZE]

Why?

There are allowances for different human preferences. Most people will not need to know the psychological motive for preferring apples over oranges, or the color cream vs. sage. It is acknowledged that we all make choices when it comes to eating fruit and painting our living room walls, and so we develop preferences.

It is, however, unusual to want to stretch the gender boundaries, since the majority of people are content in their genders. In fact, it does not occur to 97%-99% of the population to stretch those boundaries in any way. A person's gender is a fundamental building block of who they are, just as binary gender has been fundamental to our survival as a species since time began.

Years ago before the topic of gender or gender dysphoria was researched, it was believed that men were men and women were women, except some men did odd things such as put on women's clothes. The only psychological explanation for men who "did" this "thing" was that they were deviant men. Now, we know better. So when you tell someone that you crossdress, the first question that comes to mind is "why". Most people have a sense that there is a motive for doing this and it is deeper than a mere preference for something that everyone else does, such as choosing a fruit or a paint color for bedroom walls.

Even ancient cultures knew that it was more than just a preference for clothes. They referred to transpersons as "two-spirits", and not "he-who-dons-the-female-tunic".

[ReluctantDebutant]

For me the clothes have lost their magic. They don't seem to be able to conjure up their glamors anymore. I guess it's my fault really over the years I despised practicing my incantations and I would lament the mixing the potions. I would spend far more time gazing out my tower window at the villagers below wanting to throw off my arcane self and enjoy a mundane life with the townsfolk. In truth and don't think I would've made a very good wizard but in my own mind's eye I can be the master sorcerer rather than the apprentice I will always be.

I respect you Freddie and your practice of magic I hope it brings you continued joy.

[Jessica Who]

That was very well put and great to read, thanks for sharing

[Jamie001]

Why?

A person's gender is a fundamental building block of who they are, just as binary gender has been fundamental to our survival as a species since time began.

Reine,

I believe that you should have stated that Binary Sex has been fundamental to our survival as a species since time began. We know that gender is a spectrum and is not binary. Sex is binary as in either male of female, but gender is not.

[ReineD]

Jamie, my point was that until recent times, no one realized this.

[darla_g]

I think if it was only about the clothes you could put on an article of woman's clothing say a dress and you would be happy. For some that might be all that want, but for me its more about temporarily having a female persona. I like to think that being a CD makes me more in touch with woman, but who knows? There are probably a myriad of reasons one would dress, but I know I've given up trying to figure out why or even more caring why, just that I like it and want to do it occasionally.

Woman's clothing has a significant amount of variation and style that is just not present in men's clothing. It is completely evocative of the feminine mystique when paired up with the undergarments, the hair, shoes and other accessories. Its the whole experience i need.

[KellyJameson]

I think women have a different relationship with their bodies than men do.

They do not seem to have the same "physical sensitivity" that is displayed in "sensitive men"

There is almost a universal "hardness" to women, a type of toughness that I think nature designed into them to insure species survival because they carry life inside them.

Think about all the things women have to deal with related to their bodies that leave them needing to "shut down" from sensory overload. Practically everything about a womans body results in discomfort or down right pain so their "mind" stops loving the "sensual" as an experience just between them and their bodies. Between their mind and their senses.

From the discomfort of their bodies their minds are dulled to sensual experiences as a relationship they have with their bodies. The sensual must be brought to the woman because it is difficult for her to find it on her own but perfectly natural for the man to find on his own.

This is not a problem for a man because his body does not usually create discomfort except in sickness or injury. This allows for a certain sensitivity to grow inside him as the relationship he has with his senses, so his body and out into the world "IF" he was born with the capability.

What has been created for men to be used by women is a perfect place to experience and express all this sensitivity in sensual ways.

Only the clothing that has an element of beauty as "experienced by the senses" and experienced as "sensual" has appeal.

The crossdressing clothing articles are usually separate from the clothing that both sexes could and do wear.

Beauty creates the pull toward beauty by the male which originally came out of nature as a movement toward the female as sex but the man is more than just sex when he has a heightened "sensitivity" to life.

In my opinion this sensitivity comes from the male not being "masculinized" to the full extent nature is capable of so he has the sensitivity a female would be capable of if she did not live in the body she does that causes her so much grief along with nature making her ferocious to protect her offspring.

The sensitive male has the best of both worlds. He experiences what a female could but does'nt because of her "body and womb" and avoids being a slave to natures prerogatives that the fully masculinized male is which is usually expressed as some form of aggression.

The sensitive male lives between the female and male, both of which cannot experience his sensitivity but for different reasons.

This makes him an object of scorn because he is not understood by those who he stands between which are the men and women he shares the world with.

This sensitivity comes from the original female brain that he had before it was changed into the masculine brain (masculinized) so the sensitivity creates a "spectrum" of the "experience of femininity as sensitivity" in the male to the degree he was not "masculinized" in the womb.

Nature is the soil that crossdressing is "naturally" born from along with everything on the TG spectrum that the brain experiences to the degree it was not masculinized.

In my opinion there is a difference between a crossdresser and someone who crossdresses.

A crossdresser is a "male as identity" because his sensitivity is limited by his brain having been masculinized to the point he cannot accept a female identity because he naturally did not adopt a female identity as a child and resents the implications of someone referring to him as otherwise.

Crossdressing is also used as an act of self discovery along with the expression of this sensitivity to discover how deep the rabbit hole goes.

I have the same relationship to clothes as you do Freddy because my sensitivity is very similar to your own. The difference is my brain was not masculinized so I could not accept a male identity as being natural to me and rejected it in childhood by the adoption of a female identity and than suppressed it only to discover it later when I felt "safe" to do so.

The female brain when "masculinized" in the womb becomes "insensitive" (non-female) to the degree it is masculinized. This is natures way of preparing the male for battle.

All mammals start out with a female brain structure that is than changed so all men started out as women.

It is completely natural for men to want to be women because in a sense they are, except they are not to the degree they were changed.

Identity is adopted as an expression of the structure of the brain immersed in its environment and tension is created when this structure runs counter to what the environment dictates as "truth"

[Diversity]

Hi Frederique,
Your post is, once again, excellent and thought provoking. I identify with everything you said. When I came out to my wife in August, my approach was exactly what you have come to - my exact words were that "I like to wear women's clothes. I can't explain exactly why, but I just do enjoy it." I told her that I did not have any desire to be a girl or to be anything less than the man I am and the man she married. I also love being a man and will never want to change this part of me. I just want to enjoy wearing the clothes because they feel great and what is fascinating is all the different styles and colors they come in. Men's clothes are just boring.
I am now frequently wearing panties and my dresser drawer is slowly becoming more panties than undies. It's a slow step along the way, but I am not going backwards from this point. In time I hope she will come to accept it, but this, I fear, may never eventuate. Anyways, I will enjoy my journey and I am glad you are enjoying yours.
Di

[Ineke Vashon]

Thanks, Freddy. When I joined this forum I said I was a crossdresser. But "I like to wear woman's clothes" is closer to the truth as well as it explains my own feelings. Thanks. You done good, girl.

Ineke

[kimdl93]

I understand why someone who just enjoys wearing women clothes might object to a label that implied some other motivation. its your choice to describe yourself in a manner that most accurately reflects your motivations.

I'm perfectly happy to accept the label. 'Transgendered'. The clothes don't mean a great deal to me...I hope to look nice, but there's no rush or thrill in texture or style. Evidently it's something within me that wants to be expressed outwardly through my selection of attire. But it doesn't even start with garments. Like most of us, I do what I can to modify my shape to appear more womanly, and employ make up to further Soften and feminize my appearance. So, for me it's not really about the clothes.

[Frédérique]

Why?

[SIZE="2"]Because they (women’s clothes) are denied to me, or us – as soon as they tell you can’t have something, or fancy something, you wind up wanting it. I suppose you’re implying that there is transgendered something in my genetic makeup? I’m trying to give TG a rest this time around, OK? I just like beautiful things, and, when you’re expected to wear drab male stuff, these things will happen and do happen. The difference in clothing is quite noticeable and alluring, much like a siren’s call...

Besides that, I thought I already explained WHY in the OP... [/SIZE]

[ReineD]

Ah. Jock straps are denied to me. I still don't want 'em.

KellyJameson - I sorely disagree with your statement that women are not sensual. I wish you had been a fly on the wall throughout my lifetime when I made love with a partner.

[cdsara]

what a wonderful read. I fully enjoyed it and it sums things up. I just wish everyone else could be fine with it, We would be much happier. Sara

[KellyJameson]

"I wish you had been a fly on the wall throughout my lifetime when I made love with a partner".

"The sensual must be brought to the woman because it is difficult for her to find it on her own."

( with a partner) You confirmed what I said Reine.

[ReineD]

I wasn't precise. I didn't want to divulge my entire sexual experience and I tried to be as vague as possible, while letting you that women are, indeed, sensual.

[JadeEmber]

Nicely written, Frederique!

An interesting question, perhaps, is from your perspective, is it actually clothes, or the construction of beauty in the self? That you happen to use clothes to achieve it, and that you perceive some clothes as beautiful or not could be ancilliary.

The thing is, if that's the case, it's really something that people can understand quite well, both male and female. Some people tattoo themselves, for example, in an attempt to reconstruct themselves as art -- obviously, not all tattoos are for this purpose . A lot of the motivation in fashion in the construction of an artistic sensibility through a model and clothes, but for many designers, they themselves are a tapestry upon which to paint as well. I don't think women will find that necessarily hard to understand if they see it from that perspective.

So, some people will use a model such as these to create an image or something artistic: http://jezebel.com/5973202/mac-put-a...-its-beautiful or http://style.time.com/2012/12/31/fas...s-elle-serbia/

However, it should not be surprising at all that one might wish to be recreated in their own aspect -- to be part of the art that they create.

Of course, you needn't explain further. And if it was more the clothes, it doesn't invalidate your point of view. Some people like certain things.

I respond more because the particular artistic view is one I've seen in people over the years in many different forms, including CDs, drag queens, genderf*cks, etc., but also in areas completely divorced from gender.

[AmyGaleRT]

It is magic, Frederique. I always feel it while I'm making the transformation to Amy...there's a certain point where I look in the mirror and I no longer see my male self. Instead, I see a wonderfully female Amy, putting the finishing touches on her look.

- Amy

[Frédérique]

Ah. Jock straps are denied to me. I still don't want 'em.

[SIZE="2"]Ha. Ha.

I apologize for the inadequate response to your WHY? Question – I dislike “posting on the fly.” There are many things that are attractive, or become attractive, because a male isn’t supposed to have them, or do them, or admire them. Being a GG, how can you appreciate how a male feels about forbidden things? I could very well fold ideas about sexual practices, or religion, or any of a number of taboo topics into this discussion, and easily derail the topic, simply because certain subjects are denied to us on this forum. There are many examples I could give about a male being attracted to something forbidden – just trying to “keep things clean,” in this instance, OK? In the case of your non-beloved jockstraps, you’re not missing anything – shall I give you a list of female things I can do without or don’t particularly care for? That would be a list of indeterminable length…

Meanwhile, your WHY? response just verifies what I already stated in the OP – women, or GG’s if you prefer, are baffled if a man says, “I like to wear women’s clothes.” It’s not an easy thing to explain, which is the very thing I was trying to get across in the OP. Surely it can’t be THAT simple, correct? Well, it IS that simple, in many instances, to the point that any further explanation is unnecessary or injurious. I mean, I like ice cream – do I have to explain why? It’s creamy, sweet, and cold, and it makes me feel good, OK? I LOVE how that dress looks – hey, I can actually WEAR it, and see how it feels. Luckily I’m not a slave to the “correct” M/F gender dynamic that keeps someone (a male, in this case) from trying something forbidden by society. Some things, by their very nature, require imagination…

It’s too bad that women are baffled by ideas that should be simple to understand, but I think they are trying their best to keep things on the rails, moving forward, to a predetermined result, and their innate bafflement feeds into this – they are the sentinels of societal precepts, and anything that rocks the boat is suspect. Also, I think sensuality is the province of women, and we MtF crossdressers must represent a breach of the “borders” that females have constructed around them. Really, honestly, and with all due sincerity, “I just like to wear women’s clothes.” It’s nothing to worry about, and my aim is NOT to keep women endlessly confused…
[/SIZE]

…women are, indeed, sensual.

[SIZE="2"]I agree. I learned all about sensuality from women. The clothes certainly help… [/SIZE]

[Stephanie47]

When my wife and I had one of our early conversations concerning my desire to wear women's clothing, she accepted the idea I liked the feel of the nylon fabric of slips and nightgowns. She could not wrap her head around the idea I liked to wear a bra since I had nothing to "pack into it." Good point? There must be more to it than just liking to wear women's clothing.

So, as I sit here banging on the keyboard I'm fully dressed with a wig, bra enhanced with home made forms, panties, slip, hosiery, heels, dress. I've given up trying to figure all of this out. I guess figuring it out is now irrelevant to my earthly existence.

If my wife were to ask me the same question she asked three decades ago, I still would not be able to tell her why I choose to wear women's clothing. I feel at easy and totally without stress. That being said, I get the same feeling wearing a pair of cut off jeans, sweat socks, holey tee shirt and having gone unshaven for several days?????

[vivianann]

I get a different reaction from women when I tell them I wear dresses when I am male mode, versus showing up wearing a dress. I get more positive responses from women when showing up wearing a dress versus, telling them while in male mode.

[darla_g]

The "jock strap" branch in this thread I found quite humorous too! I suppose there are women (and men) who might find that sexy too as its normally associated with young buff male athletes. Some people might like that kind of thing :-)

[Kathy_G]

"The truth is I worship the clothes, I believe they are imbued with magic, and, no matter how uncomfortable they may be at times, I believe in their power to heal me. I am a prime example of a fetishist. If truth is beauty, then I create a truth I can barely begin to understand by wrapping myself in the beautiful ...

"A lot of this magic comes about because of the fact that I, a male, am not supposed to be wearing women’s clothing. I never fail to get a “buzz” out of crossdressing, and I’m not talking about a periodic sexual thrill. No, there’s some kind of regained innocence, or self-made vulnerability going on, whereby I wear something completely different and enjoy that difference. The tactile sensations created by women’s clothes are transcendental, and I go on a “trip” of sorts when I feel something really nice touching my skin. I become more aware of everything during my voyage, and even my drab male surroundings seem extraordinary – it’s pure magic, created by the simplest of means..."

Frédérique,

Your posts always have me soul-searching. They are so 'thoughtful', and your above comments reflect exactly how I have felt for the past fifty-odd years. Those feelings have become much more intense over the past ten years. I love the feel of a nylon slip and a pencil skirt, with pantihose and heels. I do not see it as a 'fetish'. I simply adore the feel of feminine clothing. I never want to take it off. But in the cold light of day, after a few early morning hours in a skirt, I need to return to 'man-mode' before the postman calls. But, come evening when I am almost sure to be left undisturbed, it's back into a skirt.

I may be mad. I may be a freak. But I love it.

[Gillian Gigs]

I believe that there are many of us here that fit into the" I like to wear womens clothes" category. We may not have started out this way, but as time goes by the simple enjoyment of the clothes takes over. In my case the comfort and feel of nylon lingerie is heavenly. Whats not to like about a skirt with pantyhose, or stockings encasing your legs! We dress that way because we like and enjoy it, if we didn't we would have stopped a long time ago. Some of lifes simplest pleasures are the best, I don't expect others to understand, even on this web site.

[Brenn]

Well said Frederique. I think I can identify with almost everything you said.