Accepting but not participating. Rather indifferent.
Accepting but not participating. Rather indifferent.
I feel for those of you whose wives aren't accepting. Even though mine is, there are times she has told me, it just feels repulsive to her.
Thank God it's not that frequent. I just wish I knew what to do or how to help.
I know sometimes she wishes for the masculine to come out (which it does, and we do). We do try to keep things balanced.
All I can do is help her through this as I don't dress 24/7.
Any suggestions are appreciated.
Originally Posted by jessicaswife
My wife is the same. It's always a mistery. But every now and again, she will buy me something, and I think things are going in the right direction, then about face.
[SIZE=2]____________________________________________[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Too many thing to do, to little time. Enjoy who you are,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][SIGPIC][/SIGPIC][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]The DH for Abigaild(GG)[/SIZE]
I guess all we can do is hope for the good times and keep an open line of communication. It works for us...especially when my wife gets a nice surprise for me.
-Gwen
My wife accepts me for who I am. Where she is at on the scale? I am still trying to figure that one out....lol.
"If you think you can or can't, you're right" -Henry Ford
My wife has come a loooooonnngg way.
My wife is "over my dead body."
My wife knew before we were married as my dear mother told her and show her photo's of her daughter. But to the question, well at first it was all fun and roses going out as two women and now after 49 years she doesn't care one way or the other as she just see me as Carol Ann everyday. No she no longer goes out with me as she saids we are to old to be doing this and the fun in it is all gone so Carol goes out by herself anymore. For what it's worth the fun is still there everytime I step out the door in heels and looking my best.
Last edited by Carol A; 01-18-2013 at 07:36 AM. Reason: miss spell words
My wife knows I like to dress but I do it when she is away because it doesn't really do anything for her. When we go on holiday she is Ok with me wearing my small bikinis on the beach. She supports my laser hair removal (likes me smooth). I could dress around her - maybe will some day
Hi Julie, It's a DADT thing with my wife.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
my wife loves it, anything in private , she shops for me,and i do the housework
My Girlfriend was reserved but accepting at first ( a few weeks ago) , But read up more on the subject , and even found a few articles that brought her around to helping me shop and contribute ideas to improving my passability ... http://www.gendertree.com/Helping%20...%20Dresers.htm and http://differentspirits.hubpages.com...aling-With-Him It feels so good to have support !
Those are some good articles, Danielle.
On Thursday, when we were talking about plans for this weekend, I asked my wife if we could spend some time together to talk about my wearing women's clothes. She knows, we've had brief discussions in the past, but I think now is a good time for further discussion.
Thanks to this place, and articles like what you posted, I have a better understanding of who I am, and will be able to assuage some of the fears she's expressed in the past. We'll see.
Totally unaccepting. I'm one of those terrible people who tried to keep it secret. Two years ago she found out that I was on this site and asked me why. I told her the truth- I'm a cross dresser and have been since I was very young, long before her and that it has nothing to do with her. It rocked her world and her feelings towards me. I think she would have left me if not for the children. It ruined our relationship and she has never looked at me the same. She investigated cross dressing and discovered that I'm probably not gay (as she at first thought), that it will probably never stop and that there's no therapy that will stop my need to dress. Her biggest problem is that I didn't tell her and give her the chance to decide if she wanted to continue our relationship once she knew about my secret. I love her more than anything and will do anything to save our relationship but I cannot deny that I am and always will be a crossdresser.
Accepting...she'll ask me why I am not dressing up or when are you going to dess-up agin ?
She'll sometimes tell me or inspire me t get dressed.
She does my nails and toe nails sometimes and help me with my make-up and buys me clothes, under wear, shoes, make-up
and jewelry.
Sometimes she'll come home and tell me about someting she's seen that I might like or will suite me.
But...I am still not sure how she "REALY" feels about it deep inside....
What does not kill us makes us stronger !
Coutniegh?
That sounds very familiar! My wife enjoys it, shops for me ( she likes the surprises) and what not. It's just that sometimes it turns her off
because she feels less lady-like. I understand her thoughts for the most part...it is still a hard concept to grasp when we have very open communication,
and I've tried everything under the sun to get her back to the point of feeling like a woman. Is there such a thing as two alpha females when one is her husband?
If so, how do we find a valance?
-Gwen
My wife knows but doesn't want any part of it. She doesn't want to know what I do or when I do it. She has a come a ways with accepting that I am a cd but when she found out that I have been out dressed she wasn't happy at all. I am hoping that in time she will be accepting enough to let me go out with fellow crossdressers or a good female friend.
My wife used to be involved and enjoy ,she would shop for the things i needed and so on. One day she did a back flip now she knows but wants nothing i mean nothing to do with it, she gets all mad when she see my dress ans skirts hanging in the closet, she used to make me dress be for sex now if i even say anything about it she goes and sleeps on the couch. I don't understand her at all.
mine accepting and participating but there are still some boundries , like all good relationships it's still a work in progress :-) . we were always very close but since i became completely honest (i said it was into dressin up for a long time) we have become even closer .
finaly trying to mind this poor body that ive been thrashing for years .
My wife hates me and Marsha
"I am Yin & Yang, North & South, Night & Day, Feminine & Masculine" [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
http://www.flickr.com/photos/64235483@N02/
UPDATE: We talked this morning. I led off by saying: "I assume you've noticed that I've been wearing more girl clothes lately."
She said, "Well, yeah. What's up with that?" I told her that it was just a part of me, that it was something that is relaxing and makes me comfortable, that I've been doing it on and off since I was a boy, and that I just wanted to be open with her about it. I reiterated (we had a similar discussion years ago) that I had no desire to undergo transformation and that it wasn't a gay thing.
To paraphrase her response: She's accepting but not encouraging; she doesn't completely understand why, but knows it's part of who I am; and she doesn't want to be embarrassed.
Baby steps, but it's progress, and the lines of communication are still open.
My wife knows and is somewhat accepting, but stuggles with a few things. Hopefully we can work through it (see my own posts for more details)
My wife knows but not to what extent. I was too afraid to tell her until recently and it's been a roller coaster since. She currently is accepting and participating only for me. She has no interest in me dressing.
Currently-
I usually walk around ,when the kids aren't around, and sleep in a tshirt/panties and ballet slippers (The slippers are COMFY!!). If it's cold, im generally in leggings or footless tights.
We had sex while i was in a Dorothy costume once, but that was after a quite a few Jager shots. I asked her about wearing corsets, babydolls, bra's and she is a no. Mainly because it's "weird" to her. She is an awesome and supporting wife in every other way except that point. Since "Dressing to the 9's" (or 7's cause no wig or makeup) is mainly a sexual thing for me, it has unfortunately hampered our sex life. No, i'm not being selfish, I always meet her needs first than mine, (well except for the occasional bar bathroom or back of the truck quickie) and do it exactly like she wants it, but she is very structured, we have a list for everything.
Ex Wife:
Very very pro, do it all, she wanted me in girl mode all the time, the downside was she was very domineering, selfish and a crap parent. (I have full custody of the ex'es and my two kids) So the end didn't justify the means.
I told my wife last year I think, and bring it up every so often. While she's not a resounding no, she hasn't said yes either. She has two aspiring goals in her life right now and I am helping her to achieve these. Once those are met, I'll bring it up again, this way everything she wants and needs are met, leaving just the same likewise :-) (I know it sounds selfish, it's just coincidental though.
Jennialy...ending up with custody of the kids IS a huge win! I think that we are selfish in our endeavors, but when it comes to kids, we really need to do what is right for them and do our thing aside from that.
I hope this doesn't upset you...I would love to have the vest of both worlds like each of your SO's.
Trust me, I LOVE to dress as much as possible, even aside from sex, but our children are first and foremost.
-Gwen
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