Hi Michelle, Almostalady snuck in there with exactly what I was about to say. (great minds think alike), my young daughter is blind and rocks her head from side to side and I have heard people snigger and laugh at her, then look away when I've turned to give them a piece of my mind. These are the same kind of ignorant, thoughtless people that you encountered. Don't let these idiots get you down, the world is full of ignorant people sadly.
Charlotte
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
THIS ^^Originally Posted by Debra Russell
I've found the best way to get over someone insulting or laughing at you is to "flip the script", so to speak. If they laugh, and you become visibly uncomfortable, slink down in your seat - then they have won. By being confident, even silly, and doing something like blowing them a kiss... well... you just flipped it around on them. Now it's a "Yeah, I see you - so what?"
Maybe a little childish... but it's kinda like getting the last word in an argument.
Michelle, that must have felt horrible. I'm sorry you experienced it. You know they were acting childish and mean-spirited, but that doesn't help. No one likes being made fun of. You did nothing wrong and didn't deserve that.
We accept you as you are and will never laugh at you.
All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?
While it was horrible at the time I tried to write it with a little humor so you can laugh at that.
I believe therefore I can [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
They laugh because you are different, we laugh at them because they are all mundane and the same.
very well put..........
some young teenager will point and laugh at them
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Michelle, I feel your pain. However, you experienced young immature girls acting like assholes. What is to be really feared is the silent majority who say nothing when bigotry is thrown around. Fear those in power who rant and rave at those in society who are not like themselves. Fear those who strive to deny your right to be different.
When something like that happens it's better to just consider that you've brought a little amusement to their lives. Their need to ridicule others will eventually come around to bite them when they shoot their mouths off in the wrong situation.
In the meantime, remember the wisdom of Eleanor Roosevelt:
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
It is always annoying to be laughed at regardless of why. People get really brave when in their car. I guess this doesn't help but if their car had suddenly broken down at that moment, they would have been crapping bricks.
And some people have the f*cking TESTICLES to laugh about this?
The fact that some pricks make jokes about us TG people is one thing but hearing about people laughing at your daughter honestly pisses me off.
It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.
I've been laughed at for being a fat man and a fat tranny and I know the feeling.
They were just two immature girls with low self esteem nothing more.
Roll on doing your thing and get on with life.
Michelle,
When someone is rude to me, I recall that their actions reflect who they are and have nothing to do with who I am. That these 2 could have "fun" at your expense tells us that they are either heartless or hopelessly insecure. At least you have the courage to live your own life.
Last edited by Sheren Kelly; 01-11-2013 at 04:18 PM.
Warmly,
Sheren Kelly
Can't let small minds direct your feelings. They were obviously imature, rude, and not worth a second thought. I'm sure we have all had a moment where we were laughed at. Even as a guy it has happened. So pull up your panties again, relize who YOU are and keep moving forward. Huggs
Ya know, those are probably the same type of girls that would laugh at a wounded veteran for being disfigured for saving their freedom... I've been there girl, I had the 20 somethin' point at me and say within earshot "OMG it's one of them" to me. The next day, I got dressed up again and went right back to the same store. Never had another issue... Oh, I'll get the 'scan' and the occasional smirk, but I just go about my business...
On a side note, I throw up the pink radar when coming up to a traffic light... I usually leave enough room between my car and the car ahead to adjust my car if the two of ours are starting to line up... I also will during the day, pull down the sunvisor over both doors just as an added measure of not making eye contact...
Renne.....
No matter how often you have gone out and prepared yourself for this eventuality, it cannot lessen the impact. No one can know how they will respond. All we can do is give you our support and love and wish you the best as you continue to do what you must do. Don't ever stop. We all must live with these individuals, hopefully your encounter with them is completed.
Barbara
He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
- Friedrich Nietzche -
I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.
Sweet justice would come if maybe one day ,one of them or one of their children might discover they were trans.Then they would have to look back at how they treated you and feel awfully disgusted with themselves.Even so ,if they're honest with themselves,when they get older they will look back and remember how hateful they were towards you..and have to live with the memory of that.
Hi Michelle,
I am sorry that happened to you. I had a tough interaction today too. (chronicled in another post).
They laughed because of the "no-mans land" of unacceptable behavior between the two gender boxes, for men. They laughed out of the discomfort of you being in no-man's land, and also not living up to societal pictures of beauty.
What you do is courageous, it is healing society, and bringing liberation, so that someday how you dress, will be no bigger deal than some woman looking a little butch.
Keep on sister.
"We are born naked, everything else is drag" - RuPaul
Michelle- hang on in there! Don't let ignorance win. One point - I notice you said in your post "fat child, fat teenager etc". Seems like the F word causes you pain. Would it be worth your while changing your body shape? I'm NOT suggesting that you need to or should , only that it might make a lot of difference to you.
Amanda.
If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!
Like someone said, you can't fix stupid. In all your experiences, this one stands out. But it shouldn't. Remember the hundreds of times you've been accepted for who you are. The problem wasn't you. It was with them.
For the record, my step daughter chuckled a bit the first time she saw me en femme. It was a spontaneous thing, and she caught herself and apologized (unnecessarily) acknowledging that it was going to take her a while to get used to seeing me as a woman. But she's family and I'll credit her for intelligence and compassion - something those two girls seem to be lacking.
Last edited by kimdl93; 01-11-2013 at 09:41 AM.
Great point there.. pretty much the answer for the entire post without going any further.
i am what I am, I do what I do..
i do not seek approval from others.
No actually the word fat does not cause me pain. My intentional overuse of the word in my post was an attempt to inject some humor into it. I may have missed the mark.
I believe therefore I can [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Hi, Michelle! I've been thinking about your post. I've been considering saying something. I've hesitated over it, but I believe I'll go ahead and say it. Maybe it will help you. If it doesn't, I offer my apologies in advance.
The bits from your OP above bother me a great deal. You used to feel good about yourself. These girls who laughed at you have completely undermined your sense of well-being. That's not a nice thing to do to someone--to make them feel so bad about themselves.
Now as everyone knows, a couple of months ago I came out full-time and I've got a very good reception from the people of my town. They've been so understanding and accepting, it's simply amazing.
A couple of days ago, though, a woman laughed at me--and yet it didn't bother me in the least.
The situation was this: I've known her for years since she works in a shop that I frequently go into. She's a very nice woman, always pleasant to deal with. A couple of days ago, her boss was introducing me to her. That is, the boss now knows me as "Annabelle", and he's been very nice to me, so he was introducing me to her as "Annabelle" so she'd know who I was.
As I pointed out to him, there was no need to introduce us because I'd already had dealings with her as Annabelle. She knew who I was and she was perfectly accepting. But when he introduced us, she laughed a bit. In fact, her boss is one of two men who, whenever they see me, smile and sometimes have a bit of a chuckle. And as I say, this sort of laughter has never bothered me.
For this reason: everybody gets laughed at on occasion because we all have our eccentricities, and sometimes people simply find them funny. Being trans is my eccentricity, and so if on occasion people laugh that's just something everybody experiences. So the laughter I've experienced with these three people is in a way just a normal thing, and the important thing is that there's no malice in it. These three may laugh a bit, but they've always been very accepting and very good to me. So why get upset if they find me a bit odd, since the fact of the matter is that I am a bit odd?
There's different kinds of laughter: some of it is good-natured and some of it is extremely nasty. I got the good type, you got the bad type. But laughter in itself shouldn't undermine our sense of well-being. If you'd got the good type of laughter, it wouldn't have done that. You got the bad type because you ran into a couple of very nasty people. So don't let their laughter undermine you: it says nothing about you other than the fact that you're different, which you already knew. It says everything about them: they're the nasty sort. Alas, such people exist in this world and there's nothing we can do about it. They're the ones who should feel bad about themselves, not you. But they haven't got the sense to do that.
Best wishes, Annabelle
Last edited by Foxglove; 01-11-2013 at 11:47 AM.
Annabelle, what a beautiful, thoughtful, measured response. You have actually helped me in my world. Thank you for that!
I dont know how to make you feel any better, but I can tell you that you are not alone. I've had the very same thing happen before, but it was a car full of teenage boys. I guess we just have to suck it up and drive on, 'cause I sure as hell dont plan to lay down and die.
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