[SIZE="2"]Pardon me while I try to impersonate an essay writer…
Are we, MtF crossdressers, trying to impersonate women? Are we nothing more than female impersonators? Some of us are dressing up and trying to act like women, or, in some instances, we actively mimic women. My apologies to the many transgendered individuals who prowl this section of the forum – I assume that if you’re TG you might take offence at my little word exercise, since you approach crossdressing from a different direction, but some of us merely seek to impersonate women and dress accordingly (a thankless task, to be sure)…
Impersonate means to assume the role of, usually for purposes of entertainment or fraud: “And now for my next impersonation!” Unless you’re a drag artiste, I think entertainment is out of the question, although self-entertainment might be one desired outcome of crossdressing. Do we dress up to “assume the role” of women? Maybe we’re just trying to play a different part in this human play we seem to be stuck in – you know, I’m getting type-cast as a male, so I’d like to try a new role, and wear a completely new costume! It sounds like fun, and, since we’re only in a play, we can over-act appallingly and retreat to the dressing room as soon as the curtain comes down, or the inevitable “missiles” get airborne. Women can be role models for the MtF crossdresser, i.e. someone to look up to and emulate – I don’t really wish to take on their “role” in society, but I would like to play-act as a female from time to time…
OK, are we trying to act like women? This also means role-playing, in this thing called LIFE, a fictitious play that never seems to get good reviews. We dress up as women, and then we try to behave or comport ourselves as women, based on a lifetime of selected observations. Behave means to act in a specified way, and, in this case, many of us try to simulate an impression of a woman. We pretend to be female, or try to seem like one, and this involves acting. MtF crossdressing itself is an act, a state of reality or real existence, a true male accomplishment. Acting like a woman has been one of the major acts of my life, going beyond performance to personification – it is definitely a thing I have done, initiated by my innate love of female clothing, and it has changed me for the better. Since I built my “costume” from scratch I might as well play with the female role that I have inherited. I’m not the best actor, but I try. Does the actor have to become the person he’s playing, or can he just impersonate someone for a time?
Mimic might be the best term that describes my MtF crossdressing, since I don’t wish to actually become a woman. Mimicry is the act of copying closely, or imitating, or assuming a likeness. Over yonder I see a girl, or a woman, and I would like to look how she looks, wear what she’s wearing, and fold it into my own persona. Ok, I’m going to copy the original, from head to toe, and do the best I can – this interests me! Being an artist, I know that you learn by copying the masters (something you really like, for instance), in fact copying is what it’s all about IF you wish to get from point A to point B and achieve certain personal goals. So, I take note of what women are wearing, how they walk, how they talk, how they comport themselves, and I try to make the most sincere imitation (copy) I can. WHY I want to do this is very mysterious, but there’s a job to do, namely changing my appearance from M to F, and enjoying the difference. I mimic women, period…
Feign is another important word we can consider. To feign means to make-up, to fabricate, to invent, to imagine, to form, or to shape. I imagine myself as a woman, so I re-shape myself accordingly. I have formed an idea in my head, and darned if I’m not going to flesh it out in some way – the conception is that strong. I must do this, mainly for the fun of it, but it also frees the imagination and challenges whatever gender precepts I have been force-fed since childhood. I know what I’m getting myself into. It is my dearest wish that this creation of mine is not seen as counterfeit, or some form of abject mockery. My intentions are honorable, which is why I rarely make a public performance, preferring to spend all my time in the dressing room perfecting my deviant craft...
Few would appreciate the effort that goes into mimicry, or impersonation, or, for that matter, invention, experimentation, and imagination, yet people admire actors. It is literally a work-in-progress, this “girl” of mine, a self-portrait that I have slaved over for a long, long time. I flatter my “self” through imitation, based on reverence for the original…
Tell me - are we MtF crossdressers impersonators, actors, mimics, or are we just trying to be ourselves? [/SIZE]