I took a chance and had "the talk" with the wife just after I got home from work.
She's thinking about it and will let me know what she thinks about the idea after our dinner out. If she agrees I will be getting my first pieces of clothing tonight. Then in the morning before I go to work I will shave the legs. So much to do, so little time.
If she doesn't agree with it, I'm not sure what my next step will be.
Wish me luck.
Jamie
Last edited by Eryn; 01-10-2013 at 05:49 PM. Reason: Fixed thread title.
Good luck to you.
Either way the honesty lifts a burden we all keep too long.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
You said it sister! I feel like I should be biting my rather short nails right now. We're waiting for 4 o'clock so the buffet is freshest for dinner. Then we walk to the store for shopping, usually groceries. I'm hoping to get some goodies too.
good luck You may have seen this but I thought I throw it out there
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...-your-behavior
LET NO ONE BURN; LET NO ONE GO TO THE LIONS
Good luck Jaimie, you took a the first step! fingers crossed
Charlotte
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Here's wishing tons of good luck!
Jamie,
I hope your wife is OK. Even if she is I recommend "Baby Steps". Shopping and shaving your legs, with less than 24 hours of coming out to her might be pushing things along pretty fast. Open communication and a little time are warranted right now.
Marcia (LOVES) Blue
You will not know how she feel about it that soon. Not the same day, not the same week and probably not the same month. Go slow and let her have time to let it sink in.
All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?
That seems little black and white on the approval part. It may be she is "ok" but that does not mean she can see you dressed or wants to be involved. There is a lot more conversation to be had...
I'll go with what was said before and warn against planning your next steps too completely. This only leads to disappointment if she isn't quite ready to move at the same pace.
I'd sit down with her and have a heart-to-heart. Let her know that, while exploring CDing is an important to you, her feelings are also important.
You are at a very important crossroad. Look both ways and proceed very cautiously!
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
SLOW DOWN!
Baby steps.
Shaving and buying clothes within hours of telling her IMO runs a HUGE risk of overrunning her with too much. Unless her reaction, the instant you told her, was "OMG let's get pedicures and go shopping for you!!" I'd say you're gonna need to put the brakes on and have some patience.
My wife's initial reaction when I told her was, "That's no big deal. We should go shopping for you, and I think you'd look really pretty with a little makeup..." And even then, it's taken YEARS for us to get to the point we are at now, when we can put the kid to bed early on a Friday night, crack open a bottle of bubbly, give each other makeovers so I can practice applying makeup. It was a roller coaster of emotion for BOTH of us for a while and it took some adjusting. Even now I still "check in" with her and make sure she's doing ok with it all.
Good luck! Hope everything works out for you
Squeeee, I have goodies! She is so ok with it that she figures that what is good for the goose, is good for the gander. We talked honestly with each other and I did promise her that when ever we got anything for me, she would get what she wanted and we can share stuff as well.
Well, further on in the conversation, she revealed that she would like to cross dress as well. Next week she will be getting some boxers and I plan on getting a nightie or something else to sleep in.
I did ask her about shaving my legs and she agreed to give it a shot. She said that she may change her mind about that, so we will see what happens.
Jamie
Good luck. I hope it all works out!
I'm glad it went well. As a guy who hasn't told his wife yet, every good story like this one gives me hope.
Ali Edwards
Transgender Science ~ Blogging with WrodPress ~ Tweeting on Twitter
"I am half-sick of shadows," said / The Lady of Shalott.
At least ypou have taken the first and most important step. Even if she is in agreemnet take it slow, with small baby steps to let her adjust. Push too hard and she may quickly back off.
Wow! That worked out well! Bless your wife for being so accepting. GGs like her are rare; be sure and keep impressing on her how much you appreciate her.
Even if it hadn't worked out as well as it did...you did the right thing.
May the two of you have lots of fun and love!
- Amy
Amy Gale Ruth Bowersox (nee Tapie) - "Be who you are, and be it in style!"
Member, Board of Trustees, Gender Identity Center of Colorado
aka Amelia Storm - Ms. Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2018-2019, Miss Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2015-2016
Be weary of the "honeymoon"phase. It Jan't sunk in yet so going to far too fast is entirely possible.
If it was me I'd leave everything be for a bit and see if she brought anything up.
Thanks everyone.
I think that my approach and honesty with the discussion, as well as a couple of simple agreed upon rules, had a lot to do with her acceptance.
She surprised me when she admitted that she/he wanted to come out too; since she already wears quite a few pieces of men's clothing already, she finds the pants and jeans much more comfortable among other things.
She also told me that she looks forward to helping me pick out my clothing and teaching me some of the other things I'll eventually want to learn.
For those of you that are concerned about the pace; trust me, I'm not going too fast for us. Our budget slows me down enough for her. Besides, this whole thing is a give and take situation for the both of us. Not to mention it's going to take me some time to get used to the idea of "Baeux".
This experience has taught me that there are three simple rule to live the life you deserve and they are:
1. If you do not go after what you want, you will never have it.
2. If you don't ask, the answer will ALWAYS be no.
3. If you do not step forward, you'll always be in the same place.
It may not be peachy, and it may not lead you down the path you think you should be walking down; but, you will always have the life you deserve.
Much love and hugs,
Jamie
I think your three rules of life are worthy of consideration in all aspects of life. We often are self limiting. Unless you are willing to take risks, you get nowhere.
Thanks for sharing those and for taking the risk to be open and honest with your wife. I hope the two of you can continue to grow together!
Read what everyone has to say.
Take it slowly, answer the questions, without any embellishment, don't dress in front of her until she asks, same with photos.
Do not bother to tell her how gratifying it is until she has had time to take it all in.
Try and not to get moody either.
All the best with your discussion.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
I think (and agree) that other's advice to slow down was in reference to shaving the legs. That's not a budget issue. Proceed with caution.
This is so simple, and so profound. Thank you!Originally Posted by JamieRobert
Honesty is always best. I do wish you luck though and hope everything works out for ya.
So far things are good. My own excitement is being over shadowed by fatigue at the moment and she seems like this is just the way it has always been. We haven't discussed much about what style would be best for me, but then again there is such diversity out there that even she can be like a kid in a candy store.
There is something on my mind that belongs on another couple of threads.
Life is Grand,
Jamie
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