Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 30

Thread: Crossdressing Domino Effect

  1. #1
    Member AllisontheGoddess's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    183

    Crossdressing Domino Effect

    So today we had training at work and the hypothetical subject of accepting everyones sexual orientation. It was a LARGE group of people (maybe 80+) and they all were very understanding when it came to someones sexual orientation, however when one coworker spoke her opinion she mentioned LGBT groups as a way of positively dealing with the situation.

    But what happened next was that she again, restated the "LGBT" group as a positive method but THIS time instead of saying "LGBT" she said "gay or bisexual groups".

    This stirred something in me. I can honestly say the for a brief 2 seconds I felt offended bacause I felt like she generalised the LGBT groups as just being for Lesbian Gay of Bisexual. The inside of me wanted to yell out "YOU FORGOT THE T!"

    This made me think....ever since I've joined this site and really halfway accepted that I was a Crossdresser I've been falling deeper and deeper into the "Pink Fog" What I mean is ,

    First it was just a heel fetish, then it was just a "Halloween gimick", then full out girl mode sometimes.--Now? am I identifying myself as being Transgendered? I haven't before --but why the sudden feeling of rage I felt when someone accidently left of the "T" in "LGBT"

    The fog feels like it's growing more and more dense sometimes and I don't know if I'll ever come out? Have any of you ever felt this way or have a similar "Domino Effect" with your crossdressing?

  2. #2
    My Ship has sailed? Barbara Ella's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Central Illinois
    Posts
    5,630
    Yes, I am a prime example of the domino effect with my life. Sixteen months ago I started for the very first time with panties, two months later, thigh highs, two months after that, bra, skirts blouses, heels. one month after that wigs and makeup, three months after that, going out dressed, and identifying as transgendered. Today, those who are would not likely accept me as transsexual, but at the least gender fluid with a dislike of the male side with heavy herbals, and more. Tomorrow???

    I too dislike that the T is marginalized by most of society, but no personal interactions yet, but i am still so young...lol..66 years.

    Barbara
    He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
    - Friedrich Nietzche -
    I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.

  3. #3
    Lady in Training AmyGaleRT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Denver, CO
    Posts
    3,191
    This is a very interesting question, Allison!

    I will say that there have been parts of my life that have felt like "awakenings" in terms of my dressing, in which things have moved into a new phase. The first "awakening," of course, was when I slipped into my first item of women's clothing (a dress belonging to my mother). Another would have been the first thing I bought for myself (a peignoir set, from Sears). Then there was when I started moving from nightgowns into actual dresses, and realized there was something about it that felt "right." The most recent "awakening" was when I came out to my fiancee and felt more free to dress and be myself. This phase feels like it should be called "The Blossoming of Amy" or "Amy's Star Ascendant."

    I don't know what the next "awakening" will be, if there is one. But as a result of this one, I am feeling more confident in myself, in both roles. I have a good handle on who, and what, I am. I am trying to use my powers for good, helping out others here, and it appears I'm having some success with it. I may get the opportunity to help people out in other ways. I will do my best to not let anybody down, if I do get such an opportunity.

    I am a crossdresser. I am transgendered, at least in part. My soul is partly female. I am I. I am me. I am Amy. And I won't give up.

    - Amy
    Amy Gale Ruth Tapie - "Be who you are, and be it in style!"
    Event Organizer, Second Friday Meetups, Mile High Transgendered Meetup Group
    Facebook - Pinterest

  4. #4
    On Hiatus
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    I pretend I live in the Shire.
    Posts
    599
    I've followed a cross dressing arc. It started with minimal dressing, gradually escalated to full en femme presentation, peaked at speculation over transsexualism, descended as the speculation resulted in a rejection of the transsexualism hypothesis, and has settled at full en femme presentation with my identifying as gender fluid. :]
    "None is more cruel and violent than the coward"
    -Italian economist and sociologist Vilfredo Pareto-

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Zoo Rich. Mountains and mountains of trams.
    Posts
    20,320
    It doesn't matter how militant and upset you get, in big groups like this you do not need to out yourself destructively.
    Tact is the better part of valor in this case.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  6. #6
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Living in the present
    Posts
    1,981
    I'm only doing my bit for the LGBT movement because I am a member of this select group.
    But then, I joined because I wanted to learn more about them.
    My cousin had come out L.
    The son of my best friend told her he is G.
    Both in the space of a few short weeks.
    Both told me (I wonder why?).
    Synchronicity?
    Have you ever noticed that all those in favour of abortion have already been born?
    "If we had never sinned, we could not have called Christ, Saviour!"
    There's just enough religion in the world to make men hate one another, but not enough to make them love one another...
    Louis Cyphre, Angel Heart

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    537
    the crossdressing arc is probably the thing that upset my wife the most. When we were first married, I occasionally indulged in thigh-hi's and garter belts. Over time, it's become full on dressing. The garter belts gave way to panty hose and now I'm all about wigs and make up and 'regular' women's clothes. So her argument has always been ,"where you goin' with this??"

  8. #8
    On Hiatus
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    I pretend I live in the Shire.
    Posts
    599
    Ah yes, the wading in is common.

    By the way, Allison, one thing I didn't mention -- which is something which I believe must always be taken into consideration -- is that transgender feelings run a whole gamut of potential variations. I'm gender-fluid, others are bigender (expressing themselves alternately as male or female in accordance with the traditionally understood gender-binary), some are "gender dysphoric" and would prefer a life as the opposite sex entirely to a life as their currently assigned sex and gender, and then you have a near incalculable number of subsets which belong to each of those categories.

    As for coming out, that has to be your decision, and it must be premised entirely upon what you are attempting to accomplish with your "transgender" behaviors, because, like it or not, presenting as a woman, to whatever degree, is a transgender behavior. Do others need to know that you are a firmly entrenched member of the transgender community or have decided upon that as an identity? A category for reference? Or can you accomplish all that you need to accomplish without sharing that with others?

    That's your choice, and it requires a decent amount of deliberation, but I wish you all the luck in the world in dealing with it.


    -Sarah-
    "None is more cruel and violent than the coward"
    -Italian economist and sociologist Vilfredo Pareto-

  9. #9
    Jersey Girl out and about Cheryl T's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Central Jersey
    Posts
    6,111
    I don't think it's a domino effect. For many of us it's just that it takes time and discovery to find who we really are and to realize that it's much more than a fetish for an item of clothing or an occasional dressing for Halloween.
    Can you see the REAL Me?

  10. #10
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    here
    Posts
    15,492
    I don't know that its a domino. The motivation is probably there all the time, just waiting to be discovered, like a fossil in sandstone. As you sweep away the surrounding material, it gradually comes into view. Similarly, it seems like a domino effect because when one incrementally allows oneself to express this attribute of his/her identity.

  11. #11
    Member Lady Catherine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Key Largo, FL
    Posts
    488
    I think of it as a continuing journey of self discovery. As we walk the path, sometimes we grow.
    I know enough to know I don't know enough.

    Peace

  12. #12
    Just a touch of class Lynn Marie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    NW Washington
    Posts
    2,743
    [SIZE="3"]Can't imagine anyone starting in crossdressing with full makeup, hair, nails, heels, lingerie, jewelry, and dresses. It just doesn't happen that way. We all start with one item like panties and build from there. Our fears keep trying to make us stop at various places, but our sense of adventure and eroticism keeps us trying new things to look even better. And then you step out the door in broad daylight! Holy crap what a rush.[/SIZE]

  13. #13
    Miss Conception Karren Hutton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    South Western PA
    Posts
    22,364
    Most people don't know what the T stands for anyway..... I'd give her credit for trying and not saying that everyone should go back and hide in their closets!

  14. #14
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    4,720
    I suggest among the attendees at the seminar there was a lack of knowledge concerning various sexual minority groups. Sure, gays and lesbians have been the most vocal groups in demanding rights and asserting their rights. When I was an employee and forced to attend these seminars, they all focused on gays and lesbians. For the most part nobody really cared about what happens in the bedroom. Whenever there was a discussion concerning men wearing women's clothing, it was always conjectured the cross dresser had to be "gay." Sure, there are men who wear women's clothing who are gay, bi sexual and heterosexual. Does high school sex education cover cross dressing? I really don't know. I graduated in 1965 from high school, and, if you did wear a dress, well you were definitely termed a "faggot, queer." (The moderator does not have to jump on those terms being used in a historical context) From a recent post by a member two girls mouthed the "slur" of "tranny." I suggest very few people understand who a cross dresser may be.

    As to your personal development. Yes, most cross dressers start out with one or two 'fetish' articles. It may be they are fighting against their true identity. Once you jump the first hurdle, there's always another. I personally to not view a man wearing just sheer hosiery or panties as a cross dresser. I view him as having a fetish. To me there is a very defined thought process involved in expressing the inner feminine side. If you do have a serious feminine side, you will progress to wearing clothing of a woman and the makeup and the wig.

    The only counsel I will offer is to do it in moderation. In balance with other things in your life. Avoid compulsive behavior. Expand your interests. As Beverly said, do not out yourself needlessly in situations where the outcome is not going to be favorable to your employment or social standing.

  15. #15
    Member Maria S's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Isle of Sheppey, UK
    Posts
    382
    Like most I started with a pair of tights and a pair of shoes but would never have imagined how I would get to my current level of dressing. I even get thoughts in my mind (if circumstances were different) of dressing full time and even having the operation.

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member JustWendy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    641
    My progression to where I am today has been a process covering over 50 years. When I was a teenager “borrowing” clothing and even as a young adult with my own clothes (purged with regularity as I swore of dressing sometimes for years at a time) there was definitely a sexual excitement as I put on the clothes. During these times there was no attempt to actually look like a woman – no jewelry, no wig, no hair removal. Sessions were short and ended with some sense of shame.

    In my 40’s I started to put together a wardrobe for the first time and had choices, depending on my mood. I shaved my body hair and my presentation was pretty good, as long as I didn’t look in a mirror, because it was still about the clothes, and I still didn’t have a wig. By this time, there was very little sexual excitement - I just liked wearing the clothes.

    It’s only been in the last few years that it became more about the appearance and not about specific articles of clothing. It is now about presenting as a woman. It’s about getting my hair (wig) to look just right and picking the right earrings and heels to go with my outfit. I consider myself transgendered because, while I don’t want to transition or live as a woman full-time, when I dress I do try to look as much as possible as a GG. And, at least for me, that speaks to my gender identity.

    So, for me, it wasn’t so much a domino effect (unless we accept that it took almost 50 years for them to fall). But it certainly was a progression.

  17. #17
    Part Time Lesbian Diva CassandraSmith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Posts
    417
    I think I have the perfect retort...

    "Question in the back?"
    "Yes, what's the T stand for in LGBT?"

    Might work next time. What do you think?

  18. #18
    Hi, I'm Ria xdressed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Kent, UK
    Posts
    603
    I didn't think domino effect is exactly the right phrase, but everyone I have spoken to has undergone so sort of evolution in regards to their girl side. Some realize they're really a transsexual, others like myself realize they're bi-gender, some are gender-fluid, and some come to realize they're a guy who likes to wear a dress sometimes. You've got your whole life to figure our who you are
    Bi-Gendered, Goth/Metal Fan, Atheist, Artist and British

  19. #19
    Cat's Eye Siren ArleneRaquel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    8,743
    IMO it's all evolutionary, and some take longer for the DNA to kick in, and some at a certain stage the urge stops or slows down. My genetics has sent me all the way, but no HRT or any thought of surgery.
    Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years. Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady

    My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty

    I'm Always Rainbow Proud

  20. #20
    Aussie girl enjoying life Michelle (Oz)'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    720
    The GLB elements are easier for society to understand and the labels now have a clear meaning. It has taken some time for society to acknowledge such variances from the heterosexual 'norm' and even now acceptance remains patchy.

    But transgendered is quite different. Asked why I crossdress I have difficulty communicating the reasons. I accept that, as a CDer who wants to present fully female as often as possible in my life's circumstances but not wanting to 'be' female (HRT etc), that I am transgendered. Accepting myself without scientific underpinning was a particularly important step for me but as to society understanding the term 'T' - that's quite a different matter. Heck, even my wife who loves me deeply has no understanding and has threatened suicide if I CD.
    Last edited by Michelle (Oz); 01-14-2013 at 06:37 PM.

  21. #21
    Member Luna Nyx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    ohio
    Posts
    160
    Quote Originally Posted by xdressed View Post
    I didn't think domino effect is exactly the right phrase, but everyone I have spoken to has undergone so sort of evolution in regards to their girl side. Some realize they're really a transsexual, others like myself realize they're bi-gender, some are gender-fluid, and some come to realize they're a guy who likes to wear a dress sometimes. You've got your whole life to figure our who you are

    I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. I consider myself bi-gender . Getting to that point was a hard fight but since I have come to terms with a lot I have never been happier.

  22. #22
    Silver Member NicoleScott's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Mississippi
    Posts
    3,486
    Allison, It seems to me that you over-reacted to your co-worker's comment (leaving out the "T" but mentioning the LGB). The subject was sexual orientation, which includes LGB. Transgendered is not a sexual orientation or preference. At least, on this forum it has been hammered home that gender identity or presentation is not the same as sexual preference.

  23. #23
    Miriam Miriam-J's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Northeast Indiana
    Posts
    699
    Quote Originally Posted by Michelle (Oz) View Post
    The GLB elements are easier for society to understand and the labels now have a clear meaning. It has taken some time for society to acknowledge such variances from the heterosexual 'norm' and even now acceptance remains patchy.
    The GLB elements haven't always been so easy for society to understand. When I was growing up in the 70s there was a lot of misunderstanding about the gay side and what it meant, and I don't think I ever heard of Lesbian until the latter part of that decade - let alone knowing what it really meant. For many years after that, and still in many circles, there was an assumption that you were either gay/lesbian or hetero with nothing in-between, so bisexual went misunderstood. It's been a very gradual process, but good to see.

    As others have pointed out, T is a totally different dimension and, of course, doesn't generally include all the variants that we're so aware of. We need a few more decades to educate society, but at least it's starting.

    Miriam

  24. #24
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    NE Ohio
    Posts
    428
    Quote Originally Posted by AllisontheGoddess View Post
    The fog feels like it's growing more and more dense sometimes and I don't know if I'll ever come out? Have any of you ever felt this way or have a similar "Domino Effect" with your crossdressing?
    Allison,

    I think that, actually, as you become more aware and accepting of who you are, the pink fog is clearing up. Now you can see yourself.
    Grace,
    Bobbi

    "Talking is sharing. Listening is caring."

  25. #25
    Member wendy360's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    So Cal
    Posts
    151
    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleScott View Post
    Allison, It seems to me that you over-reacted to your co-worker's comment (leaving out the "T" but mentioning the LGB). The subject was sexual orientation, which includes LGB. Transgendered is not a sexual orientation or preference. At least, on this forum it has been hammered home that gender identity or presentation is not the same as sexual preference.
    I agree with NicoleScott. The question was one of sexual orientation. If that is the case I do not fit in. I am a heterosexual.I am not gay and have no interest in dating other men. Yes I am a cross dresser, and I guess that is the rub. I do not think transgender / transsexuals /cross dressers people should be included in the LGBT group because according to statistics anyway for the most part, 90% or better we are not gay or lesbian or bi sexual. Although I do tell people that I'm a woman trapped in a males body. Does that make me a lesbian?

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Christian Personals | Celebrity Gossip
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


Browse Crossdressers By State