How long after you start dating someone new would you tell them that you like to dress as a woman? I've never told any of my past girlfriends that I CD and I know that my relationships have suffered because of it. I'm interested to hear everyone's thoughts on this subject
I'm the man(girl) in the box
Buried in my sh*t
Won't you come and save me, save me...
Alice in Chains
During my long marriage I never told my wife. I would tell your new girlfriend ASAP, but who am I to give advice on this subject ? HUGS & BEST WISHES !
Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years.Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady
My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty
I'm Always Rainbow Proud
I would say, somewhere in the interval between when you know it's "really serious" and when you get married. You don't necessarily want to scare her off by dropping the bomb on her right away, yet you don't want to withhold secrets like this until after you've already made it legal. Beyond that, it depends on your level of comfort and openness.
- Amy
Amy Gale Ruth Bowersox (nee Tapie) - "Be who you are, and be it in style!"
Member, Board of Trustees, Gender Identity Center of Colorado
aka Amelia Storm - Ms. Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2018-2019, Miss Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2015-2016
What our dear Amy said. I have a new GG and think very highly of her. I have dropped a couple of serious hints and they were taken well. I think that she may be open to it but gotta tread carefully. Drop a few more hints, study the reactions then make a decision.
The girl I'm dating now saw the wig you see in the profile left of you, on a styrofoam head, and says " do wear that all the time?"
My answer was primarily "no".....mainly because my actual hair is brushing my collarbone.
This might work if she's into clothes shopping. Offer to accompany her and see how she reacts when you express an interest in helping her choose.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I'd suggest not immediately but as soon as you know it may be going somewhere. I'm pretty sure I told my wife within about a month after we started dating and had really hit it off.
I'll also wager a guess that every relationship is very, very different and that you'll be the best one to judge when the time is right for you.
Good luck,
Bree
I don't want to scare her off but then again I don't want it to get to serious and then have my heart broke. I agree with you ArleneRaquel, tell her ASAP. But that's going to be soooo hard for me to do.Originally Posted by ArleneRaquel
I'm the man(girl) in the box
Buried in my sh*t
Won't you come and save me, save me...
Alice in Chains
Wow, you must have a great wife!! You're a lucky girl
I'm the man(girl) in the box
Buried in my sh*t
Won't you come and save me, save me...
Alice in Chains
Thanks Bernadina, that's a great idea and it would be so much fun!!
I'm the man(girl) in the box
Buried in my sh*t
Won't you come and save me, save me...
Alice in Chains
Adrienna, I hope everything works out for you and she accepts you for the total and complete YOU! Can you give me an example of one of some if the hints you dropped??
I'm the man(girl) in the box
Buried in my sh*t
Won't you come and save me, save me...
Alice in Chains
Amy, thank you for your advice. I don't want to scare her off but I don't want the relationship to get to the point of being serious either. I just don't now what is the right move to make here, I'm thinking about telling her
I'm the man(girl) in the box
Buried in my sh*t
Won't you come and save me, save me...
Alice in Chains
When, (or if) to tell a new GF, is very much dependent on your situation, and on your judgment of her, and her probable reaction. All we can do is give you examples from our own experience. Put them together with your own "local knowledge."
In my case, we weren't "dating" I had told her of my interest, but we worked together, and neither of us wanted an awkward work environment, she had had some recent traumatic episodes, and didn't want to get involved, YET. We were just workmates, and friends, who hung out, and were becoming very close friends. When it became clear to me that I REALLY, wanted it to be more, and i thought it would, i had a conversation with her which started with me saying that honesty was going to be important if this was to go anywhere, then I just blurted it out.
It went much better than I had hoped, total acceptance. I think it even helped with us hooking up. Certainly, she understood the level of trust I was expressing in telling her.
"Normal is what you get when you average out the weirdness that everybody has." Quote from my SO
Normal is a setting on a washing machine, or another word for average.
The fact that I wear a skirt as a male should not be taken as a comment on what you do, or do not wear, or how you wear it.
I know you answered with the truth but did she know the full story?
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Tell her when you are getting serious. We all know when it is "serious."
Timing, location, and preparation for the discussion are critical.
If I had to do it over again it would go like this... 'I'm busy tuesday night unless you want to join me, promise you won't laugh...'. If she laughs too much, you tell it it was a joke and dump her soon after and if she says cool! you just do it. ...and all the 'should I tell' talk is over rated, you need to forget about such negative thinking and be nonchalant about it...so much that its an accepted part of your life vs an affliction.
Chickie
right away. There is never a good time to bring it up. Let her know before the relationship starts. Better to find out first than to know what you might be missing if it doesn't work out when you tell her later.
I think it depends in part on how important dressing is to you.
Myself I'm at the point where if I were to get a date, I would be wearing female clothes to it anyhow, but not necessarily obvious female clothes, not the first time.
But I'm not dating. And the few places I can think of that I might perhaps meet someone if I were looking, I'm already fairly known in obvious clothes.
[QUOTE=phelicia;3080958]How long after you start dating someone new would you tell them that you like to dress as a woman? [/quote
Depends on how soon you want to have them stop dating you.
I've told past SO's and the relationships promptly fell apart. There's a greater than 95% probability that telling her will end your relationship as lovers, though there's a slight possibility that she may be willing to be 'just friends', but your romantic escapades with her will most likely be ended permanently. Best of luck, that's all we can hope for. The odds are simply not on our side.I've never told any of my past girlfriends that I CD and I know that my relationships have suffered because of it.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
On the other hand, sometimes telling a woman early on can be a lot of fun. And, telling her after you become serious can cause a lot of heartbreak if she can't accept you.
Deedee
It's not wrong... but it is forbidden!
Before it begins to get serious. She got to know me first as a person and was convinced of who I was, then it wasn't a big deal.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
My feeling about life in general is that I need the odds to be 60/40 in my favor in order to have a 50/50 chance. But I don't believe that 95% number. I told 3 serious girlfriends and all 3 of them were fine. I have never been rejected by anyone I've told.
Deedee
It's not wrong... but it is forbidden!
I tell women I date early on, before it gets deeply emotional.
If it's a dealbreaker, you haven't wasted either persons time.If it's cool, you've saved time.
I LOVE shiny black tights and control top pantyhose with reinforced toes!!
This is a very personal thing. There are a couple of possibilities. One- you're getting serious and want a Long Term relationship. In that case, tell her as soon as you both feel this could be serious. The other is a friendship with benefits kind of relationship. If its not something you expect to last, then maybe telling her can inject some new fun into the relationship...and you'll have someone new to shop with!
You are going to have to think this through as far as where you think the relationship is going. If marriage is a possibility, I would think you would want to tell her long before proposing. First so you don't tell her after a commitment is in place and that becomes a factor in the thought process and also so there is a gestation period after telling her before dropping the big one.
If you don't think the relationship is ever going to end in marriage, then it is up to you if you ever want to tell. People tell friends, so you can certainly tell someone that you are having a good time with but don't see the long term future being with them. And some completely open people may tell right after starting a relationship because they are more open with this side of themselves.
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