sexual?

[KatieGG]

So google tells me that most guys cross dress for sexual thrill.
My husband told me he doesnt get anything sexual from it anymore but he did when he was younger, and there is never any..*cough cough* signs of that kind of excitement lol. He said he just likes the clothes and the fact he can look like a chick when all dressed up. Is that the case for anyone else? Or is it still sexual or has it never been?

[docrobbysherry]

Dressing for 15+ years. Sex is a part of it, but definitely NOT ALL.
Hope it will continue to be, tho.

[AmyGaleRT]

I don't know that I'd call it "most guys." It's certainly "some guys," but "most"...I don't really think so.

Also, some of us start out with more of the "sexual thrill" aspects, and later "grow out of it." I'm one of those. It was only when that impulse started diminishing that I was really able to figure out more of why I was doing this, and what I needed to do, and what I hoped to accomplish.

But there are many reasons why guys crossdress. Google's answer to you is partly right, but doesn't convey the whole picture.

- Amy

[Teri Ray]

Was and still is to some extent. Not as much but I love the thrill.

[Ann Louise]

Very sexual at first, but I suspect that's because I was totally in secret, and had limited time alone. That's probably what made each moment so precious and exciting! Now that I can dress at home on the weekends, and am a routine under-dresser I love being able to feel my feminine nature without the sexual undercurrent full-on all the time. Elfin

[SarahMarie42]

That's actually a very difficult question, Katie x]. I'm not quite sure how to answer it. That might still occasionally be an element, but I'm mostly just iffy about my gender. Many people cross dress for many different reasons, and, for many, it may be a fetish at one point and a fun, little, "Look at how pretty I am!" sort of activity at another. It's always difficult to know what's going through someone's mind. Lol.

[justmetoo]

It wasn't sexual when I was a kid. Then a sexual thrill component came into when I became an adolescent. That diminished over the years. These days there's very little of that left to it. Now it's more like your husband said, I like the clothes, I like how I can look. It's more about expressing part of myself that I can't express in drab. Just one part of the whole me, which is sometimes more male, sometimes more femme, sometimes somewhere in between, and sometimes just me.

[SarahMarie42]

It wasn't sexual when I was a kid. Then a sexual thrill component came into when I became an adolescent. That diminished over the years. These days there's very little of that left to it. Now it's more like your husband said, I like the clothes, I like how I can look. It's more about expressing part of myself that I can't express in drab. Just one part of the whole me, which is sometimes more male, sometimes more femme, sometimes somewhere in between, and sometimes just me.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ That

[Angela Campbell]

It started when I was about 4 and was not in any way sexual. It had some appeal when I was a teen, but then again everything did then. That went away very quickly and it has no sexual appeal at all for me now. Just a way for me to look more like the woman I am inside.

[NathalieX66]

When i was a teenager, the taboo-ness of dressing up in womens' clothes gave me a thrill, but now it's about self-expression and personae. Hey KatieGG, you're a girl, right? What do you like about being a girl? Whatever it is, I want some too.

[sissystephanie]

I have been crossdressing since I was 6 years old. Not all the time of course, and certainly not wearing all feminine clothing. But I do not remember it ever being really sexual! I crossdress because I like the fit, feel, and look of feminine clothing! That was and still is my reason for doing it. BTW, I am now 80 years old and a widower. My dear late wife was totally supportive of my crossdressing!

[Jennifer in CO]

I'd say till I met my wife it wasn't sexual. She made is a sex(ual) thing but that only lasted a few years - till I transitioned. Then it became normal

Jenn

[marny]

I can't imagine there not being a sexual element to it. We are all sexual beings. I mean, Gee Whiz, sometimes I look at something in the grocery store and get a little rise! How could I ever get Blase' about sliding into some panty hose and a dress. But I have to wonder about the vague google reference. I believe for most of us mature cd's it is more about who we are. But Hey. We're still breathing!

[MissTee]

Sexual, yes, in the sense that I feel attractive when dressed. Many years ago when I started dressing it was almost all sexual I suppose -- a taboo inspired thrill that would indeed excite me physically. Now it's an emotional high that gives me a degree of fulfillment and well being that I absolutely can not get any other way.

[EmilyLynn28]

It started out sexual to me, but it's not anymore. It feels natural to me to dress in women's clothes. I mean, that's what women do, right!

[Eryn]

Young males can get aroused by anything. With plenty of hormones raging through their systems just about anything is arousing.

From my current perspective from the far side of 50 I can say that dressing isn't about arousal at all. Once everything is nicely tucked away arousal is the last thing that will happen! I just enjoy being out in the world as a different sort of person.

[StephanieJ]

There is a movie about a famous woman named Temple Grandin who is an autistic savant. She could not stand human contact so she invented a "squeeze machine" that would simulate the feeling of being hugged. When I cross dress, I feel like I am stepping into a squeeze machine.

That moment of comfort that I could not otherwise have is the whole reason I dress. The thought of committing a sex act while dressed,snaps me out of that feeling and back to reality. It reminds me that I am a man and thus, it is something I try to avoid.

Not sure if that makes any sense. You probably need to see the movie "Temple Grandin" to fully get what I'm saying...

[JenniferR771]

Thanks for your question, Katie. I don't think you could say men dress for the sexual thrill of it. Google left out a lot. You have to be a crossdresser first. Plain old ordinary men do not get a sexual thrill from dressing in a cute dress. (Correct me, if I am wrong.)

I probably was born a crossdresser and just discovered it about age 10. Sexual thrills in my early years. These days (50 years later), coughing is more and the signs of sexual excitement are rare. I have a better sense of outfit selection and more skill at makeup--my dressing, jewelry, wig and shoes are more elaborate and complete. I am more likely to go outside, and ready to admit that I am a cd to some people, not all.

Perhaps I am trying to re-ignite that sexual thrill.

[GroovyChristy]

Well, sexuality is definitely a part of it, at least for me. I'm 22 and easily aroused anyway, so of course slipping into a pair of panties or tights, etc. is going to get me a little excited. But that's only part of it. I love feeling like a lady and women's clothing is much better suited to expressing my personality than men's clothing, and sooo comfortable too. It involves all aspects of myself - I think more like a woman than a man, and so I would prefer to look more like a woman too. But I'm just one person, and I'm sure people crossdress for all sorts of reasons, none necessarily more or less valid than others.

[Jenniferathome]

... he doesnt get anything sexual from it anymore but he did when he was younger, ...

I'd say this describes me. But to be fair, the average tween/teen will get a chubby if the wind blows. I think the taboo of dressing gets translated into stiffies when you're young(er). of course there are fetish dressers too.

[darla_g]

I think there is ALWAYS a sexual component to it. But at a certain point its also a craft, you want to see how good you can do.

[Leslie Langford]

I concur with the majority of the posters here, and it bears repeating that most of us first noticed these urges to put on girls' clothing as young as around ages 5-6. Since that precedes even the earliest onset of puberty amongst humans and the corresponding first awareness of sexual urges, clearly something else is at play here, and it comes down to gender awareness/confusion.

Sure, a temporary sexual component kicks in around puberty, and if I had to guess, much of that has to do with desiring females but not being able to act on those feelings. In this regard, Mother Nature plays a cruel trick on us since teenage girls mature faster than we do and typically go for the older guys at that point in their lives, thereby leaving us hanging (or self-pleasuring, as the case may be ). And so, being the budding crossdressers that we are, we do the next best thing, which is to create an imaginary (surrogate?) girlfriend via our alter egos. But once we start dating, developing relationships with SO's, becoming sexually active as the fundamentally heterosexual males that most of us are, and eventually getting married or entering into long-term relationships, the sexual component starts to wane and we revert back to our crossdressing as an expression of gender identity.

Interestingly enough, these crossdressing urges often start to plateau (or even go dormant) during our early adult years as we start to become more focused on starting families, advancing our careers, and paying mortgages etc., and life suddenly becomes very busy. Then around age 50, these urges come back with a vengeance, and almost to the point of being an obsession in some cases. Maybe that's because most of us have settled down now and our lives are in "cruise" mode at that point, maybe it has something to do with lower testosterone levels that typically occur at that time (andropause - the male equivalent of menopause, but much more subtle in its direct effects), or maybe it is the jarring realization that we have more of our lives behind us than ahead of us, and if we don't explore our feminine sides to the fullest now, time will pass us by. Maybe it is actually a combination of all three factors, but either way, it should come as no surprise that many of us here are also between ages 50 - 65 as survey after survey has demonstrated.

All that said, let me put a different spin on the original question. Many of us get married or enter into long-term, monogamous relationships with the expectation that this step - along with a regular sex life - will cure us of our crossdressing urges - NOT!...which just leads us back to gender expression being at the root of our crossdressing inclinations.

[Michelle M]

In my teens it was often sexual.
30 years later it's still sexual occasionally, but for the most part I am doing some soul searching. Also, I love the feeling, the illusion of being pretty.
Michelle

[wadevikingfan]

i think in my case its sexual...i wanna look pretty...you look at a woman, and they are so darn cute..and i wanna look like that...i sure would rather wear a dress and heels than a suit...i love the feeling of wearing everthing that a woman does..and i must say , i do get so hard just visioning myself wearing womans clothes and going in public,

wendy

[AmyGaleRT]

There is a movie about a famous woman named Temple Grandin who is an autistic savant. She could not stand human contact so she invented a "squeeze machine" that would simulate the feeling of being hugged. When I cross dress, I feel like I am stepping into a squeeze machine.

That moment of comfort that I could not otherwise have is the whole reason I dress. The thought of committing a sex act while dressed,snaps me out of that feeling and back to reality. It reminds me that I am a man and thus, it is something I try to avoid.

Not sure if that makes any sense. You probably need to see the movie "Temple Grandin" to fully get what I'm saying...

It does make sense, Stephanie. While I've never seen the movie about Dr. Grandin, I did read the book she wrote in which she described that machine. I've also met the lady, and seen her speak about her experiences. A fascinating person.

About the only time I can get aroused while dressing is if I'm wearing a silky nightgown, and even that doesn't happen as often as it used to. When dressing, my most common sensation is of a warm, comforting glow surrounding me, like a feminine aura. This feeling sometimes makes me reluctant to abandon it when it's time to switch back!

- Amy