I in the processes of putting together a plan for my very first public outing and looking for your opinions.I did some looking on the web and found a LGBT bar that's about an hours drive from me that puts on drag shows a couple nights a week.I am thinking this might be a good place to start please share any thoughts,opinions and any experiences.
Call first. Time it for about when they open so they will be more likely to spend a few minutes talking with you. Things change sometimes and what's on a website or a listing may not be up to date...Originally Posted by SexyErica
Do you want to see a drag show? If yes, then it's perfect. Remember, drag shows don't mean crossdresser heaven. It's a "gay" bar. You may get hit on, be prepared. My preference is mainstream places. As a guy, I'd never go to a bar alone, unless it was the only way to see the Steelers playing live.
In UK gay bars are completely accepting of crossdressers. When I first used to go out I started with a shopping centre. People are more interested in their shopping or what their kids are up to to study whether you are girl or boy. As I've said in another thread if someone calls out look at that guy in a skirt don't you look round a gg wouldn't.
Maria
I must be too ugly because I have never been hit on in a gay or lesbian bar. Just go, dress down if this is one of your first times out. I will bet that most people there will be in Levis and tees or sweater/sweatshirts. I also bet that you will find a mix of people from gays, lesbians, single straight people and hetero couples. You will definitely have a great time if you can find someone to go with. Now, NW Wisconsin puts you near Duluth, maybe?? Dress warmly and enjoy.
Although I am not gay I think getting hit on would be quite the compliment.
AllieSF actually Duluth is about 2 hrs away do you know something about the Duluth area because I have been looking at at the Flame.The original one I was referring to is in ST Paul.
Last edited by Eryn; 03-04-2013 at 07:27 PM. Reason: Merged two consecutive posts. Please use the multiquote button at the bottom right of each post to put all your replys in one post.
Sage advice if I ever read.
Erica, it won't be a straight man making a mistake, it will be gay man looking to hook up with a cross dresser. Nothing wrong with that but go with your eyes wide open. Find a friend, really.
Last edited by Eryn; 03-04-2013 at 07:28 PM. Reason: Merged two consecutive posts. Please use the multiquote button at the bottom right of each post to put all your replys in one post.
Too many years ago I lived for 3 years in a small farming town in mid State. I also went to school with in Michigan's UP. Unfortunately, I do not know any places to go there. I have seen some girls on this site and urnotalone.com from Wisconsin and Minnesota. Just not sure if they get out that often and where they go. I would check around all that area to see if you can hook up with a good partner in crime. I have so much fun when I know someone is there with me, even though I may abandon them a few times during the evening to pursue new conversations with new people. It really is empowering.
I must have gone to a completely different kind of gay bar. I found that the gay male clientel NEVER hit on CD's.
First off-They're gay ie: looking for men. Who look like bears, Freddie Mercury, or, the Marlboro man. If they were looking for someone who looked female...they wouldn't be gay.
Second- They know the CD's are 'hands off' and just looking for a night out.
You might very well get hit on...by a married man from the burbs who told his wife he had a late meeting. He's there to live out a lifelong fantasy, that should probably just be left a fantasy. He probably thinks-all CD's are easy, they're all tops, CD's have no morals, therefore no reason not to jump into be with a total stranger who has a wedding ring tan. On the plus side, this guy has never been in a gay bar in his life, will buy drinks all evening, and a meal, and a hotel. It's that's your thing.
I obviously can't speak for everybody, you may or may not get hit on. You will have a thrilling time.
See if you can do a dry run in drab, to check out the crowd, how they're dressed, and the overall vibe. Ask about washroom use. If you can't park VERY nearby, find a well lit car park, call a cab, and wait in your car. Door to door ride. Stay sober and alert. Gay bars, and gay neighbourhoods are usually very safe, and self policed. Once you get the feel of it, it's one place you can be as over the top as you feel like. Break out the watermelon sized boobs, stacked wigs, and glitter eye shadow, or just try your hand at being as close to a GG as you can. Have fun.-Celeste
Not sound B****y but I have been shot down a few times so I'm thinking it might be kinda FUN!lol
It does depend on the bar. I've been to a couple of "LGBT" bars that didn't accept the "T" part. Then, again, I've been to some that we were totally welcome in. And I have been hit on by gay men. Not my thing, but what the hey, it's nice to be wanted. I also spent some time with a lesbian at one bar. In the right setting, it's all good.
It's really amazing how the culture at LGBT bars can vary. One of the best bars I've ever gone out at was Stilettos in Detroit (a lesbian bar). I was totally welcomed, met some really awesome girls and have been back probably a dozen times since the first time I went there. On the flip side, I was at a lesbian bar here in Cincinnati where I was treated like crap...typical lesbian transmisogny.
If it's not too far away, I'd go up there in male mode and check the place out first. Stop in, have a beer and get the lay of the land.
"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. "
- Anais Nin
I haven't went out yet because of this really. I know I shouldn't feel like that. I know of a couple of bars that seem like they accept all types there. Now i just need to get up the nerve to do it.
[SIZE="3"]Don't overthink this stuff. Just get dressed to the nines and go. Gay folks know about persecution and rejection, they're normally quite accepting. Getting hit on is definitely a compliment. I'm just not that kind of girl![/SIZE]
Lynn Marie
Click here to see me on Flickr
Get dressed and go! Exercise common sense and you'll be safe..Oh,and have about 20 bucks worth of one dollar bills for the dragons!!You will at least be popular with them!
It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !
...ah, the politics of "T".
When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks.
Erica,
I used to be from the Twin Cities, but never ventured out there before I moved away but I have heard there's a group that meets sometimes at a place called Town House in St Paul and it should be welcoming. I've got friends and family in Duluth too so I might be able to find out about places there too but the internet is a great first check on any review site like yelp or Google.
Good luck,
Bree
If this is your first time out in public then I'd take a smaller baby step. That is unless you are the bold type and don't mind the positive/negitive feedback. For me, it took a lot of being out in public trips to get used to walking in heels, feeling the breeze under my skirt and trying to blend in.... Eventually, just last month, I made it to a GNO at a LBGT friendly bar that was next to a drag bar.. Had a blast. If you've got the confidence and know that all you need to pass is the front door then have at it...
Let us know how it goes....
Renne.....
My first time, first few times out, were to gay bars on a night when there was a drag show. I was very accepted, treated nicely always, especially by the staff and drag queens performing, and had a lot of fun each time. And i'm not passable at all. Now, I go to a couple of clubs that have trans nights and all kinds do show up. It's always a great experience with lots of dancing.
I would go with someone. Always more fun in case you have to sit there alone...in the dark...not getting hit on. >
I get hit on by gay men, "straight" men, women (ok so they just want to talk...I think..but maybe I should see if the want "me"), penguins... But then again, I am a Princess when I am out and I do dress to be noticed.
Gay men usually want men (in fact I have been told that the dress is a major issue with men, that if I didn't have it on gay men would want me....well duh, I'd be naked), lesbians like to talk to us and be friendly, straight men ain't that dumb and the know e are men but some think that dating a TG won't make them gay. I rarely go alone and stay alone but that is the fun. I have met so many new friends in the last year.
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
I have a small "gay" bar near me that does drag nites. I went one time and the sound system was so cranked i could not hear my own thoughts. I generally dont go to concerts for that very reason. My ears rang for a week afterward. They were very crowded too and while it is good for the business I just did not like it much so I left and probably will never go again. I guess i am just not very social.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. Mark Twain
Here on the east coast, an LGBT club called the Raven LOVES TG folks, it's as LGBT as it gets....Pennsylvania/New Jersey line (Delaware river). Nice place, decent food, piano bar, dance floor.
Personally, I prefer mainstream places like, you know....anywhere/everywhere.
Last edited by NathalieX66; 01-19-2013 at 12:46 AM.
LGBT Bar?
Probably your referring to The Townhouse Bar in St Paul. Yes this is a good bar to go to dressed. Thursday nights there is a drag show at 10 PM, many CD/TG come starting about 9 - 9:30 PM. Also on the second Saturday of the month at The Townhouse there is City of Lakes Crossgender Community meetings in the back bar Blanche's from 7 PM to 9 PM. Some stay after the meetings, sometimes there is a drag show that same night.
Janet
I think it is a good place for the likes of us to hang out.
You can always phone first.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
True that, going to a bar alone is never a fun time, dressed or not.
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