Finding Your Name

[Ariamythe]

So, I found my name, finally, in the weirdest place: inside myself.

How much did you struggle with your "other" name? Did you just choose the feminine form of your male name? A name you thought was pretty? Or was there something deeper?

For me, I just wasn't being honest with myself. There actually was a name inside of me, one that I'd been using for years without even knowing it. When I started being honest with myself, I thought it would be like trying on clothes or taste-testing ice cream -- so many to choose from! So many to try!

But in those moments when I wasn't thinking about it, I realized that, in my head, I already called myself something. It wasn't the name I liked best, nor even the name I wanted; but it was the one I identified with. It was literally the one that belonged to me. It feels weird to say that, that somehow I've had a female name all along, but it's true. I'd just never recognized it before.

Did anyone else experience this? Or is this just proof that I'm just nuts?

[danielleinbr]

Every person on the planet is just a little bit nuts, that is one thing that keeps life interesting, lol. Anyway, my name is just an extension of my male name. It just seemed like an obvious choice to me.
Pleased to meet you too Ali
Danielle

[Beverley Sims]

Ali, or Ariamythe, they are both good names for a girl who thinks she is nuts.
No, I think they suit you and as far as I am concerned you are stuck with them now.
So go out and live the name.

[LIKETODRESS2]

I have always like the name Erin growing up not reallly sure why but its the gilr name i pick for me

[Jorja]

psssstttt, I bought my name from that guy over there hiding behind the trash dumpsters.

[Annaliese]

If I would have been born a girl my name would have been Anna, I was watch a Barbie move with my grandchildren one day and a name jump out at me it was a add on to Anna, Annaliese.

[Brittany CD]

I'm a little indecisive about a female name, since I have no real desire to have one. I've changed it once and I just requested a new one

[JeanneF]

I picked my name over ten years ago. In 2006 I decided that it didn't really fit me, and since my male name is androgynous in sound (but not in spelling), I just chose to go by that in the real world. I stick to my old female name online mainly because I'd already made friends using that name and it was just easier to stick with it.

It also allows for a modicum of anonymity in the online world.

[mikiSJ]

My name is how a girl might call herself if her name was Michelle. The last part is simply a way to hide my surname.

[SandraInHose]

I've used a different name on each of the three CD forums I have belonged to. I just like change, I guess. And none of those names have any connection to anyone I know or knew...just the opposite, I'd pick names that would NOT remind of any woman I know as to not be subconsciously influenced by that woman's personality/style/mannerisms.

[Evelyn]

I was at my workplace, wearing very tight trousers. A man I worked with was gay, and he told me that I had a 'heavenly bottom'. And my name was chosen....Evelyn Bottomley. That was 40 years ago, and we are still 'close friends'. x x x

[AmyGaleRT]

There's a sticky thread about this very topic. You'll find the story of my name there, along with many other stories.

- Amy

[Ame Anderson]

A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet.
Am I overthinking my overthinking?
What's in a name?
Ame puts me first alphabetically.

[suchacutie]

simple...give my wife a short list of names ok with me and let her pick. After all, she'll be saying the name more than I will and I wanted her to be happy with my name

[Ariamythe]

There's a sticky thread about this very topic.

Oh, I know. I was more interested in the process, though, then the actual name chosen. I thought it might offer an interesting thread.

[irishsissy]

When I was young I overheard my mother talking to her friends and they asked her how she came up with my male name and she said if he was born a girl we were going to call her Cynthia. So here I am " Cindy ". Little did she know a few short years later I,d be dressing as a girl. Wow,,

[ArleneRaquel]

30 plus year ago I choose as my female name Maureen Fleming, naming myself after Maureen O' Hara & Rhonda Flrming, later as I went online, circa 2006 I went to Katrina Maureen, again maning myself after Ms O' Hara and also The Nations' editor Katrina vandenHeuval. Later Arlene, and finaly ArleneRaquel, after Arlene Francis & Arlene Dahl, the Raquel portion is from Raquel Welch, I'm also know, at one site, as Beyonce Welch, after THE RAQUEL, and Ms Knowles.

[Cheryl T]

I had used a few different names over the years until I came out to my wife. At that time I knew I needed a permanent identity and one that was truly me.
I avoided all female versions of male names as I certainly didn't want to have someone shorten it and have it sound male in any way....like Roberta/Bobbi, Joanne/Jo and the like.
Mine is actually a homage to my first crush. She was pretty, intelligent, personable and down to earth...all things that I hope I am seen as by those around me.

[Ariamythe]

Thanks all for the replies. I think, though, that I didn't ask my question right. I guess what I was trying to ask before was more like this:

How "true" is your "female" name? That is, is your female name just a persona? An alter ego? A character? Or do you feel more like when you chose your name it was your *true* name? More authentic? Does your male name feel fake or real?

That's more along the lines of what I was trying to ask before. Ultimately I didn't choose a name, not consciously. It sort of chose me. Or rather, it was just *in there*. I couldn't say for sure where it came from, except that it felt authentic. I'm not sure at this point how to rationalize it. TBH, it's starting to feel like a "true" name. And that's just a little scary.

[Karren H]

My mother chose my name.... if I had been born with an innie vs an outtie ...... I changed the spelling to make it match my male name...... both names fit who I am.....

[BillieJoEllen]

Had I been born female I would be a Janice Joy today. However I wasn't. When i was a teenager I settled on the name Linda Marie A-----. Much to my shock about a month later a young girl with a very similar name was killed in a boating accident near my hometown. To the best of my knowledge I had never heard of that name before. Out of respect to that child I stopped using that name (I didn't have many or any places to use it anyway). I kind of went without a femme name for quite a few years. When I started using WebTV I was using a chat sight there and I was asked to submit a name. I chose Billie. I could only sign in here as BillieJo and a few years back I couldn't log in here anymore. When I finally did get to be reestablished I had to choose a new name. Thus BillieJoEllen.......

[Amanda M]

My male name is just that - and I quite like it.

My female name was chosen in a jokey moment by my wife, and I thought - "Yes, that's me".

And sorry, Ame, but Amanda comes first!! Don't be cross.......

Amanda M

[shadowline]

Though it is not reflected in my forum ID, the name I have chosen is Mimi, based on the first girl I ever kissed a looong time ago.

[AltairaMorbius]

I love Fantastic Planet, Robby the Robot, and Altair Morbius as my scene name. My chosen female name is Amy, the same as my first girl friend and lover, I always envied her body and the strength of her orgasms!

Cheers,

[AmyGaleRT]

How "true" is your "female" name? That is, is your female name just a persona? An alter ego? A character? Or do you feel more like when you chose your name it was your *true* name? More authentic? Does your male name feel fake or real?

That's a different "spin" on the question!

Most of my name is tied to my family (my maternal grandmother's maiden name, and the names my mother would have given me if I'd been born female), so there's obvious authenticity there. The other piece of my name is tied to Second Life, and through that, I have first-hand experience of the concept of multiple identities (the idea of one's "main" and "alts"), so I'm already used to thinking in those terms. I feel "at home" as Amy in a way I never felt using any other femme name. It's a natural thing now for me to say, "Hi! I'm Amy!" or to sign my full femme name (I didn't even know I remembered how to write anything in cursive other than my male signature!).

My male name, according to my mother, came from our "family book," meaning there was some ancestor of mine who had my name. I've lived with it all my life, but never really considered whether it was "genuine" or not. I usually go by a nickname that's derived from my full name in a simple way; that's a label that points more to "me" than my first name does.

In the end, though, both parts of me are valid in my estimation, so both names are valid.

- Amy