For the late comers..

[Laura912]

An area of CDing that fascinates me, perhaps because there are no logical answers, is that of the late onset cross dresser. Early onset CDers describe early memories of trying on clothing of the opposite gender, usually that of a family member. Late onset CDers, generally do not associate any specific event but there must have been some thinking that went into the decision to try on, in the case of MtF, women's clothing. What was it? What were the events going on in your life at that time? Was there a traumatic event, a happy event.....what? Was there a libido change? It does not seem that one day you just decided to put on a pair of stockings or panties or whatever. Maybe the IRS threatened to audit you! (Sorry. Spent part of the day doing taxes.). Was this a latent desire that was strongly suppressed and then released by reading something or an event?

So many questions. Any answers?

[Jodi Anne]

Well for me it was always there, but stayed in the closet. Now as an old fart I just made up my mind to not care and let it out.

[FrozenShiela]

I'm sorta late, I'm 18. I did take a pill that apparently dulled my emotions, and when I figured that out I used last summer as a chance to get off the pills. Then my emotions started coming back and CDing came along with them.

[Kate Simmons]

Although I started dressing early in life, I was mostly okay with keeping it under wraps and doing it part time. After serving in the Army, however, my self worth as a man was non existent, mostly due to what I did in the Army. I had decided before I got out to have a sex change but changed my mind after meeting my future wife. Even though I played the guy role, the trauma was always buried deep within me. When it finally came to the fore as a form of PTSD, I went all out to become a female to the extent possible. My marriage did not survive because of this. I eventually learned how to manage my feelings and make them work for me. I've turned every learning experience around to work for me and my experiences , both good and bad, have made me the person I am today.In my case it became more real after 9/11/01. I'm good to go in any case and it works for me.

[Elizabeth Ann]

There are quite a few of us, and this question comes up fairly often. Do a search on "late onset."

Back in 2008, I responded to one such thread thus:
"It was all about sexual stimulation. I can remember only one odd episode in my youth in which women's lingerie played a part as an aid to masturbation. I still consider my crossdressing to be fetish related.

As an adult a number of factor culminated in this development. Some physical problems for my wife caused our sex life to cool considerably, such that the great majority of my sex life was taking place alone in the shower. Sexual fantasies began to play a more prominent role. Among my favorites were submission fantasies, often involving humiliating feminization.

Back when I believed that the world could be a better place, I used to work a lot in developing countries. This often involved trips alone of about 3 weeks. I think probably during one of my lost luggage trips, I bought my first panties. I would buy a package, wear them during the trip, and then toss them."

Like most of us, the practice has developed into something more since then.

Liz

[suchacutie]

my wife and I were just joking around...I had lost a lot of weight and joked that I could fit into some of her old things..."here, try it"...after a few minutes it wasn't a joke anymore. In 48 hours Tina was completely born.

Wild but very much what happened!

[flatlander_48]

I guess I would be both an early comer and a late comer. When I was a kid (8 or 9 maybe) I would wear my mother's shoes or undergarments. However, something changed shortly after that (I have no idea what it was) and the feelings were suppressed until I was 55. After my divorce, I took up with a woman who was much more sexually liberated and tolerant. That just allowed me to be who I really was.

[Stevie]

My first realization was in the Navy. I was introduced to the fetish world. I probably was into dressing as a kid but it wasn't until I was in the service that I realize my true feelings about women's clothes. My feelings were suppressed until I met my wife and came up when she was not interested in the fetish as I was so I substituted by dressing in private to get the look I envisioned. The more I dressed I started to add and learn to the look. I was hesitant at first but grew more and more comfortable each time. So it started with a pair of hand cuffs then it was the shoes. From there it grew to a leather skirt and then sneaking into the stores to buy pantyhose, panties, and other clothes to go with my shoes and skirt. My wife not being interested in what i was doing and not knowing the extent of my dressing at the time made it easy for me to continue to the point where I'm at today. She knows now and I have to stop dressing and give her time to adjust. Not an easy thing to do but I have to have faith. It's not a fetish to me anymore I feel naked when I can't dress.

[bomba]

now that is awsome

[bomba]

i know now that i dressed when very young.im just remembering. i think my parents new and i remember he made me go out for football.i was 8 at the time. all i wanted was to play with my sister and her friend.we played with barbys and dressed them up.sometimes we played dress up.it was inocent because we were so young.but dad put a stop and made me play foootball.

[Eryn]

I didn't start dressing fully until I was in my 50s, but hindsight shows that the seeds were there long before. I've always had an "inordinate interest" in feminine things but earlier in life confused it with a natural male interest in females. My interest, therefore, remained shoved to the back of my brain until something made it come to the fore.

In a lot of ways I wish that I hadn't been so good at hiding from myself.

[Beverley Sims]

I started young and kept up the interest.

[carhill2mn]

I have often wondered the same thing. I will eagerly await the answers to your questions.

As for me, I was about 8 years old when I first tried on one of my mother's silk blouses. I was hooked!

[AltairaMorbius]

It was always with me, but now I dress to relax, it was very sexual at first.

[Laura912]

Eryn, you suggest something that I expected, and that is that there were hints that had not risen to full consciousness.

Tina, it almost seems as though you were "primed" to accept the cross dressing. Perhaps it was there all along?

Stevie and Sheila, I would suggest that you started young.. Realize that I am a crossdressersaurous, however!

[Nathalie Antoinette]

I've really still only hand a handful--okay, maybe two handsful--of crossdressing experiences still. My first was at age 5. I am now 58, and have just recently begun to get interested in a serious way. Mostly, I've been reading and learning. A lot! There seems to be so much to learn! I have been trying on some undergarments and lingerie and heels in the last few weeks...taking it slowly and being attentive to how it makes me feel. I'm also becoming aware of the things that I like and don't like, and what I think might feel right on me, or not. This site/forum is such a wonderful resource!

[Julie Gaum]

Without going into any great detail as I have in other writings, I do believe that most young males have been exposed to female clothes before puberty but only some have the ingrained "trigger" that usually creates a budding cross dresser while in their teens or sooner when that trigger is activated by sisters, mothers or other motivators. I don't have an explanation why that trigger doesn't activate for some until mid-life but it is there early on only to be sublimated by parents, family, work environment such as the military or other jobs that hinder it emerging. Bottom line is that it was always there until that "trigger" is finally released.
Julie

[Annette Anderson]

Without going into any great detail as I have in other writings, I do believe that most young males have been exposed to female clothes before puberty but only some have the ingrained "trigger" that usually creates a budding cross dresser while in their teens or sooner when that trigger is activated by sisters, mothers or other motivators. I don't have an explanation why that trigger doesn't activate for some until mid-life but it is there early on only to be sublimated by parents, family, work environment such as the military or other jobs that hinder it emerging. Bottom line is that it was always there until that "trigger" is finally released.
Julie

Yes,fascinating how we still come to more or less the same point eventually

[cassexy]

i am grateful to crossdressers.com for me to go public that i am a cd. i love being a cd and love to be in touch with other cds to excvhange ideas and clothes too if possible

[Traceyjo]

I am typical of the late onset crossdresser you are referring to Laura. There was nothing particularly different going on in my life when I started. My kids were aged 7 and 5 and maybe my wife's libido had sarted to wane. I've always needed lots of sexual stimilulation in my life and when I wasn't having frequent sex with a woman would look for other outlets such as porn to satisfy my desires. One day I put on a g-string and felt a rush of excitement because I felt like a sexy woman and my CDing took off from that moment. Initially it was incredibly arousing and even though it still is always exciting , I also have that wonderful contented feeling of feeling feminine. There were no desires related to feminimity in my childhood, I was just a normal boy. Now I am so grateful I discovered the joys of transforming myself into a woman

[Crissy Kay]

I guess for me, it really started about fourteen years ago, when I had the house to myself. For some reason I cannot explain, I picked up my first maids costume, and petticoats around halloween that year. I had this deep fetish for years, but no real interest in cding until then.

[Cheryl S.]

For me it began when I was about 7. Playing with some friends - we exchanged shoes. The girl I was friends with gave me her Patent Mary Janes to try on. I felt a rush like never before. I managed to contain those feeling until in my early teens. Again one day the curiosity overtook me and I purchased a pair of white high heel pumps. Occasionally when alone I would wear them. As the years went by I managed to push my desires to wear women's heels to the back burner mostly because the women I started dating were wearing them. After I got married in my early 20s the desire to wear heels subsided as my wife always wore them. I am now in my early 60s and a few years ago I saw a woman wearing a short skirt and Mary Jane Pumps. That set off the desires again and now whenever I'm alone I can be found wearing a bra/panties, pantyhose, a short skirt or women's jeans, tight top, and high heels. I wish I hadn't waited so long!

[Stephanie47]

From the posting of Kate Simmons (#4) and previous postings, we have something in common. Yes, I dabbled as an immature youth in female clothing, but, it was something I ascribed to sexual immaturity. Or maybe it compensated for not being able to "score" with the chicks. The 1960's were not very liberating. The Uncle Sam comes along and grabs you for several years. Some of us ended up doing time over the pond doing the 'manly' things of our forefathers. And, having someone else's forefathers doing the same shit to us. In the end, we all are damaged to some extent. How do we cope? I'm in a PTSD support group. I suspect I may be the only cross dresser in the group, but, who really knows? Most in the group found relief in drugs and alcohol. Most have been married more than once. What seems to be universal is everyone has found some outlet to suppress bad memories. So my sexual immaturity of my youth became my outlet. If you ever get involved in the psychology of PTSD, you find it comes on strong when you retire. Basically, if you are not an early bloomer in the PTSD world, it creeps up on you when you have too much idle time on your hands. You're done raising kids. You're done doing your time being the good guy in society. Studies have should the surges in PTSD from WWII and Korea hit men in their sixties. Nice to know I fit in the mold.

Anyway, so what do I do to fight the demons. I become Stephanie. She is comforting. She did not go to war. She stayed home and did the womanly chores of the day, just like I'm doing today in a pretty dress, heels, hosiery and all the proper undergarments. I guess that is why my feminine role models are from the 1960's. They did not go 'over the pond.'