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Thread: Best House Mates EVAR

  1. #1
    Hi, I'm Ria xdressed's Avatar
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    Best House Mates EVAR

    So as you may have guessed, I came out to my house mates last night. I called a house meeting for 7 o'clock but it took till 8 for them to actually all get together, yet surprisingly my nerves didn't build up like I thought they would. They finally all came into the living room and sat in a sort of semi-circle all facing me, which was slightly intimidating but I held my nerve. I started off by saying "do you remember the expo? Well that wasn't for a bet, I wanted to do that. I'm a crossdresser." One of them said ok, another said cool and the last just nodded. I was pretty taken aback by how easy it was and how nonchanlent they had been with their acceptance. I may have well as said my favourite music genre isn't Death Metal, it's actually Black Metal, that's how little difference it made to them. And that's how I feel it should be really. Clothes are just clothes, and the identity you attach to them shouldn't matter as long as it's still you. As two of my house mates pointed out (all my housemates are girls except for one) they wear men's clothes all the time, with one of them chipping in that they got their brother's hand-me-downs for most of their childhood. There were none of the silly question's that many other crossdresser's get like 'are you gay? Do you want to become a woman? WHY do you do this?' just a total acceptance and some realisations. For example, it became obvious that I don't just paint my nails black for gigs, when my eyelashes look ever so slightly thicker than normal sometimes, it's because I really had been wearing make-up and briefly mentioning how great they think Eddie Izzard is (I made sure we all watched one of his DVD's together near the beginning of last term). A little bit later one of them also said that if she were a lesbian she wouldn't have been able to get everyone in a group and tell us like that and that I was very brave for going through with it. They haven't really asked me anything about it yet, but I'm sure when they meet Rihannon they might be a bit more inquisitive. I also told another friend from uni who I don't live with but who is very close to me and my housemates about a week ago. Her Dad started transitioning about a month ago and is living full time as Emma and she and her brother are very accepting and understanding. I did originally plan to tell her after telling my house mates, but an online conversation just sort of drifted towards that area quite easily and I ended up telling her in advance, and I'm glad I did. The support made telling my house mates so much easier.
    Bi-Gendered, Goth/Metal Fan, Atheist, Artist and British

  2. #2
    Member Maria S's Avatar
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    Hi Rihannon

    It's great your mates are so accepting and brave of you to tell them all in one go. It is my experience that younger adults are more accepting than older ones. Obviously there are exceptions to this. I think it is just a sign of the changing times away from that men are men cliche. In time you may even be going down the pub with them in female mode.

    Maria

  3. #3
    Hi, I'm Ria xdressed's Avatar
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    Indeed, one of them has already said we should all go out to the local gay Pub together soon ^_^ Maybe as soon as next week! Also I notice you're from Sheppey, that's so near to me 0_0
    Bi-Gendered, Goth/Metal Fan, Atheist, Artist and British

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    If you have good house mates you have the best evah house.
    Still take your revelation slowly so as it can sink in and let them get used to the situation before parading around too much dressed.
    They will need time to get used to it and may even encourage it later on.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  5. #5
    Hi, I'm Ria xdressed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beverley Sims View Post
    If you have good house mates you have the best evah house.
    Still take your revelation slowly so as it can sink in and let them get used to the situation before parading around too much dressed.
    They will need time to get used to it and may even encourage it later on.
    Not to worry, with university, band stuff and the fact that they are also very busy it's very unlikely there will be time for it to get too much
    Bi-Gendered, Goth/Metal Fan, Atheist, Artist and British

  6. #6
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    Glad it went well and they were of rational about it.

  7. #7
    Member meghana's Avatar
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    I'm really happy for you girl..you're lucky than most of us..

  8. #8
    Chickie Chickhe's Avatar
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    That's great...although now its up to you to show them a good time. I am convinced we beat ourselves up emotionally way to much over this and you see it by the non reaction in people. The best policy in my opinion is to just do what you want and let people see how much fun you can be. Forget the explainations about why and how you feel etc... just be who you need to be and show them you are a decent person.
    Chickie

  9. #9
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    Congratulations, Rihannon! Acceptance like that is great.

    One thing I can say from personal experience: there are people who can accept CDing easily enough in theory. In practice, when they see you dressed, it might be a bit different. They can find it more difficult than anticipated. If you get that sort of reaction, no need to despair. It can take some people time to adjust.

    But that won't necessarily happen. In our world anything is possible. There are plenty of people who have no problem at all seeing someone dressed.

    Best wishes, Annabelle

  10. #10
    Gender Outlaw! vikki2020's Avatar
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    GREAT! And,mostly girls can be a helpful thing for you. Make-Up,clothes,etc! Happy for you!
    "And if you want some fun, sing Ob-Bla-Di-Bla-Da!"

  11. #11
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    I've always considered my cross dressing as a private affair and on a need to know basis. I'm happy your housemates are supportive and not judgmental. They should respect your privacy, just as much as you respect their privacy.

  12. #12
    My Ship has sailed? Barbara Ella's Avatar
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    Rihannon, have you ever wondered how you came to have such a wonderful bunch of roommates? Your personality and theirs naturally attracted and kept you all together. It is no wonder they are so accepting. Take it slow, and best of luck in your studies and activities.

    Barbara
    He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
    - Friedrich Nietzche -
    I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.

  13. #13
    Hi, I'm Ria xdressed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Annabelle Larousse View Post
    Congratulations, Rihannon! Acceptance like that is great.

    One thing I can say from personal experience: there are people who can accept CDing easily enough in theory. In practice, when they see you dressed, it might be a bit different. They can find it more difficult than anticipated. If you get that sort of reaction, no need to despair. It can take some people time to adjust.

    But that won't necessarily happen. In our world anything is possible. There are plenty of people who have no problem at all seeing someone dressed.

    Best wishes, Annabelle
    Nothing to fear on this front, they met Rihannon today, in fact I've been dressed up nearly the entire day and just generally chilling with them, it's been great. They've barely treated me different at all (just some occasional girl talk that I previously wouldn't have been part of) and no hint of awkwardness at all. Of course I won't be dressing 24/7 or probably not even most of them time, as too many other things in the way plus I won't always feel like it.
    Bi-Gendered, Goth/Metal Fan, Atheist, Artist and British

  14. #14
    Silver Member justmetoo's Avatar
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    Congratulations! Kudos to you for being brave and to your housemates for being so accepting!
    Last edited by justmetoo; 01-24-2013 at 11:45 PM. Reason: fixed typo

  15. #15
    Hi, I'm Ria xdressed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by justmetoo View Post
    Congratulations! Kudos to you for being brave and to your housemates for being so accetping!
    Thank you ^_^ It's pretty surreal to go from such secrecy to almost total honesty but I love it to much and I'm so appreciative of them
    Bi-Gendered, Goth/Metal Fan, Atheist, Artist and British

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Annabelle Larousse View Post

    One thing I can say from personal experience: there are people who can accept CDing easily enough in theory. In practice, when they see you dressed, it might be a bit different. They can find it more difficult than anticipated.
    Quote Originally Posted by xdressed View Post
    Nothing to fear on this front, they met Rihannon today, in fact I've been dressed up nearly the entire day and just generally chilling with them, it's been great.
    I'm glad to hear that. Practical, not just theoretical, acceptance is really nice to have.

    Best wishes, Annabelle

  17. #17
    Member sonna's Avatar
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    great post, thanks for keeping us updated ;~)

  18. #18
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I wish you a long relationship with the rest of the house.
    It reminds me of activities of my own long ago.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  19. #19
    Hi, I'm Ria xdressed's Avatar
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    I told my two female house mates they can tell their boyfriends if they want and they both said they were fine with it. Obviously if any other guests are over I won't be dressed up as it's not always the best way to meet strangers lol. Also I heard from my girlfriend that the one male member of the household is probably going to buy me some clothes for my birthday as he previously didn't know what to get me. I can just imagine him having to walk into a shop and look at dresses telling the SA that it's 'for a friend' lol.
    Bi-Gendered, Goth/Metal Fan, Atheist, Artist and British

  20. #20
    Member Lady Slipper's Avatar
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    That's wonderful that your 'mates are so accepting Rihannon! Not to shabby for an evil cross dresser.
    "Fear is the mind killer." Frank Herbert, Dune

    "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Ferris Bueler

    "I make a GREAT team!"

  21. #21
    Hi, I'm Ria xdressed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Slipper View Post
    That's wonderful that your 'mates are so accepting Rihannon! Not to shabby for an evil cross dresser.
    Haha not too shabby at all ^_^
    Bi-Gendered, Goth/Metal Fan, Atheist, Artist and British

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