"Are you gay?"

[genevie]

Last night after a strong drink, I asked my wife how come she hasn't noticed my legs were shaved for the last few weeks. She immediately blurts out, "Are you gay!?" I thought really? So I've had no comments about the manicures and pedicures (we do that together). No comments about wearing thong underwear all the time. No comments about growing my hair out. No comments about what looks good on who and, "what was that girl thinking?" But shave my legs? That prompts the question. No honey, I'm not. Then she pleads to not shave anything else. I'm thinking further discussion will wait. Baby steps. Not the time to ask if she likes my legs in pantyhose with these heels.

I'm guessing this is not a new story for many of you.

On another note, I just love doing stuff around the house and having to work around breasts. Oh my, what a wonderful feeling. I probably won't bring that up soon.

[Ann Louise]

Hi Genevie - I don't see a question to us in your post, so I assume that you're open to comments instead. My comment is that, more to the point, she should be asking "are you bisexual?" I mean, obviously, you're not gay (as in exclusively sexually attracted to males) since after all, you married her, so I'm interpreting her "Are you gay" as a crack or retort that indicates an underlying state of alarm or misgiving on her part about your dressing. I would interpret this as a red flag warning to you.

Also, I would add, I'd be wary of mixing a "strong drink" with serious discussions of your CD'ing. As you know, these matters can be touchy enough as it is without adding in intoxicants to cloud your thinking. Are you bi-sexual, or bi-curious, anyway? Maybe interject that into your discussions if they're taking a more serious turn. Take care, Elfin

[Ame Anderson]

A few steps forward, a few steps back, I am going thru a similar process. Go at her pace. Get frustrated at the pace not her.

[Kate Simmons]

My stock answer to that question would probably be "Why, are you?" Seems kind of silly to ask that when you did all that other stuff together Hon.

[cyndigurl45]

I always thought that I was, I have a boyfriend and I'm not sexualy attracted to women. Turns out I'm a normal woman just with some birth defects LOL

[Annaliese]

I will be sitting watching the news with my wife and a story about gays or crossdresser will come on and she will just go off that is just wrong. I am sitting next to her in a skirt and blouse or a dress. She has not ask me if I am gay, but I wonder if her out burst to the TV is more to me.

Good luck and Hugs

[Lorileah]

So question number one on the TG hit parade has been asked. I assume you were gentle with your answer and not sarcastic or indignant. You should have been prepared for that. And there is NO reason to even delve into Bisexuality. Do NOT open that can (No matter how you identify). This was just an exploration and she needed to have it answered. Done and done right?

I hope that she now feels able to talk to you a bit more about who you are.

Even though if I remember correctly I did the same thing (shaving) without asking, I would not recommend that course now. My wife's issue with it? As I recall was something like "It's YOUR body do what you want. But do NOT come to bed with prickly legs". Of course we had had the whole gay, bi, TG woman, fetish dressing conversations before, so that wasn't part of it.

[Beverley Sims]

Stay off the strong drink I think.

[genevie]

Thanks for all the great reponses. I'm not gay. I'm not attracted to men at all. My wife is bi. Perhaps that lends some issues in her mind about me. We are committed to each other and have no worries about others. I've had fantasies about being female to her female in bed, but that is not something I expect soon or ever. I appreciate the comment about taking it at her pace. I guess I was just venting a bit and sharing here. I've got nowhere else to go or people to talk to. You all were quite a find.

[RADER]

Stay off the strong drink I think.

I agree, no more fire water for you.
Rader

[pink.switch.love]

Did it hurt when she asked you that?

[cathie pantyhose]

Thanks for all the great reponses. I'm not gay. I'm not attracted to men at all. My wife is bi. Perhaps that lends some issues in her mind about me. We are committed to each other and have no worries about others. I've had fantasies about being female to her female in bed, but that is not something I expect soon or ever. I appreciate the comment about taking it at her pace. I guess I was just venting a bit and sharing here. I've got nowhere else to go or people to talk to. You all were quite a find.

seems like her response initially was more defensive in nature but without hearing the tone it's difficult to honestly say. Almost seems to me she is feeling a little unsure about her own sexuality if she is openly bi. Why would she be so concerned with you being gay if she is bi?

When I first removed my leg hair my wife didn't like it but she realized it made me happy and she now likes it.

BTW - Mary Ann was always my fav too. Loved her daisy dukes and her legs were awesome

[Jenni Yumiko]

I think that hurts drunk or sober, i think thats the #1 reaction when we tell our SO's unless you are and your SO is same sex :-)
the other thing we don't know is how much does she know about your dressing?
You kind of eluded to it, but still not sure.
Either way, it sux when your SO says that to you, made me feel like crawling in a hole. Esp if they use it against you in an argument later on.

[Annette Todd]

I agree I tend to think the "are you gay" comment was just a rhetorical jibe. I am sure she noticed your shaved legs and just didn't comment because she made no more of it than the other things you mentioned.

A thin skin will only lead to your feelings being trod upon.

Enjoy the journey!

Annette

[I Am Paula]

It's interesting that if we dressed like what gay men are looking for in a partner, it would probably be more like the Marlboro man, a hunky action movie star, or a leather clad biker. Very few gay men do drag, and even less try to emulate women. Take your SO's to a gay bar, and she'll see what gay men look like. I love guy watching on patios in the gay area, they're so well dressed (for guy clothes). How many straight men read GQ?-Celeste

[Frank]

It's interesting that if we dressed like what gay men are looking for in a partner, it would probably be more like the Marlboro man, a hunky action movie star, or a leather clad biker. Very few gay men do drag, and even less try to emulate women. Take your SO's to a gay bar, and she'll see what gay men look like. I love guy watching on patios in the gay area, they're so well dressed (for guy clothes). How many straight men read GQ?-Celeste

Exactly how I feel, if anything I am a lesbian. :-)

[Tracii G]

Why the "gay" question always amazes me.
I don't know any gay men that want to be women or dress like one.

[I Am Paula]

I also really love peoples rationalizations about gay and CDing.
- CD's are gay 'by definition'.
- 'Of course they're gay, why else would they do that?'
- 'If they want to look like women, they must be trying to attract a man'.
There are a few people who believe the moon landing was faked. Children believe in Santa Claus, but grow out of it. Some people think one race can be superior to another. These are all minorities, yet the VAST majority believe the CD/gay thing. How did they get SO brainwashed.-Celeste

[genevie]

Did it hurt when she asked you that?

I actually thought, "What a cliche." She knows from our past history that I've crossdressed in the past. She went along at one time and then it bothered her. I then gave it up. That was 11 years ago. Lately, I've thought as I get older and approaching 60 that it seems silly to not endulge a little. It seems so harmless a hobby. So I've been sort of splitting hairs, as it were. I'm indulging some whims that allow me to feel more feminine when dressed male, such as nails and shaved legs and sexier undies. Someone might think, "he's a little different, but certainly still male."

I am taking the advice of others here, however, and not buying clothes until it is not hiding. And I can be honest. Still, I"m sitting here with a bra on with a pleasing set of fake breasts, panty hose and some nice heels. Just me alone in the house feeling nice.

[CynthiaD]

Well, I don't know for sure, but I don't think that shaving your legs makes you gay. I think what makes you gay is having sex with other men.

[Jodi Anne]

The " Are you gay?" question fights for the top question with the "why?"

[CassandraSmith]

Are you gay?

Yes. I'm a lesbian and I'm into you because you're a woman.

[genevie]

I told her that last week. I've been dropping hints for a while.