Waxgate!

[Alison-Mary]

So my wife has known that i am a crossdresser for some years now; but it's more a case of DADT.

Anyway, we were watching TV the other day and for some reason the subject of body waxing came up (I think someone was getting their chest hair waxed - ooowh! the pain). She then mentioned something like "you dont understand the pain us women go through when waxing our legs"

I then took the opportunity (how clever of me!) to reply that "it can't be that bad, and was happy to experience it for myself and get my legs done" (lovely!, and indeed something ive been obsessing about for a few months now- Brilliant!)

Well, she obviously saw through my feeble attempt to fullfill this particular craving and upped the ante - "Dont get a leg wax, you need to try a bikini wax", "okay" I replied, calling her bluff.

She then backed down and said "No!".

"But i really want to get my legs done"
"It would be weird, you will look stupid"
"I dont care, many guys have their legs waxed, its not uncommon" - i was doing my best to push the issue (gotta try )

That's when she came up with the slam dunk.

"If you get your legs done then you can forget about the marriage"

Hmmm!

We love each over dearly, but this crossdressing business seems to be a constant barrier that's proving very hard to break.

Just wanted to share.

Love
Alison

[NicoleScott]

We read that a lot on the forum - "wife won't let me shave my beard/mustache" or shave the legs like in your story. There can be long discussions about control, ultimatums, etc., but another way to look at it is that you tested the boundaries and found out where they are. Nothing wrong with trying to re-negotiate DADT, but there's your answer. It seems that a lot of wives recognize the need to crossdress and allow it in private, but don't want any possibility that it leaves the closet. Any clue (like shaving legs or growing nails past "man length") is threatening. My wife is like this, but she didn't mind that I shaved my legs in winter as long as let it grow back for shorts-wearing weather. Hope it works out for you.

[Beverley Sims]

You do have to try to be more imaginative with your suggestions.
Point out other instances of male waxing, shaving etc.

[celeste26]

This DADT situation suggests that you didn't tell her before the marriage. If this is true then your marriage is on shaky ground and it will not get better without counseling, and may never get better. Apparently she feels threatened by this and clearing the air is vital. As long as you are willing to operate under her insecurity needs it can continue, but given the typical situation with countless other CD's it is far more likely to get worse not better.

[Cheryl T]

I always wonder about the amount of commitment to a marriage someone makes when they say things like "If you get your legs done then you can forget about the marriage"
To me that just says they are not giving of themselves fully to the marriage and would be ready to walk at any time something bothers them.

[2B Natasha]

I always wonder about the amount of commitment to a marriage someone makes when they say things like "If you get your legs done then you can forget about the marriage"
To me that just says they are not giving of themselves fully to the marriage and would be ready to walk at any time something bothers them.

Cheryl. Those are my thoughts exactly. How committed and understanding and completely insecure most one be to make a statement like that.

I do wish you the best. But it sounds like a long road that you get to make all the compromises on.

Cheers

[Alice B]

I've had leg and bikini waxes and it was not painful at all. I also full body shave and while doing so last week my wife came in and after watching for a while asked my why do I do that. I simply said I enjoy it and can no longer stand body hair. She just shrugged and left the room. he knows that once I've made up my mind to do something I will/

[kimdl93]

I do think it would be fair to ask if she values your leg hie over your marriage.

[beau]

What would happen if we reverse the role by asking them not to shave for two week or longer? They can tell us how to groom our body's but not the other way. Just a thought

[Sally24]

I always wonder about the amount of commitment to a marriage someone makes when they say things like "If you get your legs done then you can forget about the marriage"

I can't agree more. If she goes straight for the nuclear weapons then I don't see things lasting well. Is it going to be that way with everything you disagree on?

What would happen if we reverse the role by asking them not to shave for two week or longer? They can tell us how to groom our body's but not the other way. Just a thought

If you are in Winter wherever you are living now, who is going to see your shaved legs but her? Seems like more than just fearing exposure to others.

As far as the pain thing. Early on in my CDing my wife gladly helped wax my legs once. The backs were incredibly painful! That and the fact that my hair grew out in short order sent me running back to my razor.

[NicoleScott]

There is no obligation to react to an ultimatum. You can shave your legs and say nothing. That puts the ball in her court. Some people issue threats as a way of trying to get their way. Early in our marriage, my wife threatened divorce just about any time we disagreed. Tired of it, I called her bluff. I dropped a phone book in her lap and said "call a lawyer. Let's do it". She stopped the divorce threats. We're going on 20 years, doing just fine.