Going out in public

[Marlana]

Ok, before I get started, i have a lot of tolerance for other cd's out there. I, myself, have not ventured out into the public eye...yet. What I don't get, or understand is why cd's who are clearly very manly men with big bushy beards will wear lipstick, tight fitting tops with forms on, have a hairy belly that hangs over their short shorts, keep hairy legs, and wear painted nails out in public and act like they belong there. I'm sorry, but to me, this is gross and embarassing. Is it me? Am I not getting something? I am far from passing, but I don't go flaunt my imperfections. How does seeing these particular "girls" make you feel?

[SandraInHose]

Hey! You just described me to a 'T'!!!

Only part is I don't venture out dressed.

Besides...go to a local Walmart or Goodwill...you'll see some WOMEN that fit your description...bushy beards and hairy bellies, too.

[BillieJoEllen]

Marlana, there are two women here where I live that are almost exactly as you pictured. I see them on ocassion. They are very brutish looking and both have long beards. I have no idea why they go out like that. It seems they do have a negative effect on the rest of us because I have heard many unkind comments concerning them. It seems that either woman isn't bothered in the least about being out in public. they're really not trying to present as women.

[suzy1]

Are you are judging other members Marlana?

If you don’t like it don’t look. I admire all that go out dressed. Who are you to say what's acceptable and what’s not.
We are a support group.

[Lorileah]

Wow.

and after I just addressed everyone's right to an opinion...

You do have a right to think as you like. You do not have the right to make rules abut how someone looks or acts. We are a very diverse group. There are things in daily life that I do not like. Why just today at Penney's a woman was yelling at her mother from the top of the escalator. Rude and very low class in my opinion. And yet, it was her "right" to do that.

What is there to get? They do not fit your mold. It would be wonderful if we all could be "perfect" (another hard thing to define).

You can do one thing. You can represent to the world as you think you should. I have my values and my feelings on how I should be seen. The others have theirs. If you don't want to go out, that is your choice. They made a choice that wasn't like yours. Personally I think anyone who wants to go out should go out as long as they are not indecent (read breaking laws about clothing or lack thereof).

So be tolerant. If you don't like how someone looks, you have 170 degrees around you of which you can move your attention. Ah look...butterfly

[sonna]

why do you care what other people do. there not hearting you at all and dont try to say
its negitive on us. and thanks suzy1 we are a support group ....(quite judging)
we already have enuff of that.

[franny lin]

I do'nt go out because of the negative comments .

[Karren H]

FINE!.... I'll stop going out enfemme!

[franny lin]

life is hard with out being judged

[Stephanie47]

I can visualize what you're describing. I try to look as womanly as possible but I think it is difficult for me to 'blend in.' I suspect the persons you encountered really don't care. I also see many many women at the malls, who probably look like the men you encounter, but, they do not have beards. If I were a true woman I would not want to look like them. They seem to be comfortable with how they look, at least outwardly.

Without meaning to offend anyone, there is a possibility they are not seeing themselves as you are seeing them. And, there is also the possibility they are meeting people with unique special desires.

[Jenniferathome]

Perhaps you feel badly for them that they may be ridiculed? They, obviously, don't care. It's not what I would do, but they are not me. For whatever reason, some of us feel the need to "blend" and others don't give a rats ass. That's the beauty of freedom of choice.

[SexyErica]

As hard as I've been trying to work up the courage to make my first public outing its comments like these that are holding me back because even though I am trying very hard to make myself as femme as possible I Know I will never pass.

[Stephanie Miller]

In the imortal words of Snagglepuss..... "Exit, stage left!"

I forget to shave one day.... ONE DAY and this is what I get.

[AngieStone]

FINE!.... I'll stop going out enfemme! Karren if I looked as good as you do I would be out there every day!!!!

[Luna Nyx]

As hard as I've been trying to work up the courage to make my first public outing its comments like these that are holding me back because even though I am trying very hard to make myself as femme as possible I Know I will never pass.

i feel the same way. I try to work up the courage to but i always back out.

[Marlana]

So apparently, if one has an opinion, it is the standard. Ok. Lets all stop shaving and epilating and lasering and whatever else we do to look good. I don't judge these people.(Read the OP). My question was how do you feel when you see these particular people out in public? After all, if you think that we aren't all judged by the few, then you may be misinformed. If I looked as good as some of my friends on here, I would be out and about often. I do support alot of what is said here, but all I'm saying is at least try. The next time you see a GG with a bushy beard, hairy legs, and a beer gut, make sure you give her a thumbs up. After all, I'm sure she's looking at us and saying it takes all kinds!

[Annaliese]

For reason we may not understand, they may not be able to shave legs, face what ever, and have a non accepting wife but still want to go out, to each there own or don't care they are just being them self. I know I don't pass but I still go out.

[Lynn Marie]

[SIZE="3"]The difficult part for me is that when the public hears anything about Crossdressers, these bearded folks in skirts come immediately to mind rather than the tall, well dressed, ladies in heels with big hands. It's okay, just doesn't help our cause at all. Some folks just don't care. I do. I hope they don't judge me too harshly because I do![/SIZE]

[Wildaboutheels]

Your attitude is understandable. There are many others here who have ALSO succumbed to Forum myth #5 which states that no man should venture forth in public using ANY of the clothing items sold in the women's department or any makeup, nail polish, or other enhancements, normally utilized by females...UNLESS he uses them all.

I've learned not to judge anything or anyone based on the packaging because virtually everyone has different tastes. Maybe ... they are out doing research for some CDing Forum?

If I were to spot such a person, I would simply assume public opinion, good or bad simply does not matter to them. And/or that they are simply confident enough to wear what they want.

[Marlana]

Thank you Lynn Marie. That was exactly my point. However, that was lost amongst the gen-pop that jumped on the support bandwagon. If I looked as good as some people on here, I wouldn't be scaresd to go out in public. My wife will NOT support that at all. So I'm relegated to the closet. Wish I could go out and see how it feels to be free. Have to think of others in my case.

[Tracii G]

A few years back at a Salvation Army store there was a CD as you described bothering no one and shopping on her own.
I was enfemme and shopping as well.One of the store workers asked me wow did you see that tranny?
I told her yes I did and she is free to do her own thing just as I am.The girl gave me the once over and said OMG! you are a man?
I said yes sort of LOL she said honey you look so good I would have never known. I was wrong to judge the other person and I feel so ashamed.I told her acceptance is all that person wants and to be free to express how she feels inside.She agreed and said I know I'm no super model so who am I to judge any one else.
Joanie and I are very good friends now, she took the time to research gender identity and works for social services now helping with trans people.
Being free to express yourself is OK with me.

[Debra Russell]

Not on anybodys band wagon or standing for a cause - I express myself when I want to (and or appropriate) - like Tracy said "feel free to express yourself" - but be sure the backflack will be there and yes I find it a little silly as the OP stated but no more than all the rest of the wall martians out there oop's I guess that includes me on wheatever level..........................Debra

[Jenniferathome]

However, that was lost amongst the gen-pop that jumped on the support bandwagon.

Marlana, you are Rees to post your ideas and others are free to respond. It won't always go your way but you should not take offense with differing opinions.

[Violetgray]

Marlana, you have every right to feel the way you do. When I see someone who looks like that, I think to myself, "Ugh, not feelin' it." But I would never suggest that they should not be out because I know that other people feel the same way about the rest of us. The way you feel about the guy who looks like Evander Holyfield in drag, there are those that feel that way about all of us, even those of us who try really hard. I guess it's just that when we're met with a sort of visceral disapproval, and I'm reluctant to let it roll downhill.

[Leah Lynn]

<<<<Does this look "passable"? Umm, nooo. Yet I go out often, even meet with other girls for a GNO. I like going out, and to hell with anyone that has a problem with it, because it's THEIR problem! Now, lets make nice, and sing "Kumbyah"!

Leah