The talk happened today

[Kathy4ever]

Well my wife and I have been kinda being distant lately. Maybe mostly because of my crossdressing but for what ever reason its there has been some distance. So today I said we have to talk. We discussed this whole crossdressing ordeal. This time there was no harsh words or bad attitude on her end. I was quite shocked. Now that we cleared the air and have some boundaries things should be better. She even said I should go out but at this time she does not want anything to do with it. She didn't say it in a negative tone or disgusting tone. She is giving me some space and able to put my cloths in a dresser drawer in our spare bedroom. She just prefers not to see it. I can dress upstairs and do what ever I want as long as I stop wearing so many fems items out and about. At this time no nightgowns to bed but I can do what ever I want. I told her I appreciated her and respected her and luved her. We hugged and things seem better. I'll keep you updated but it turned out a lot better than I expected.

[MonicaCD]

I think that's great! Not that I have any great experience, but from what I've read here, it can take time for confidants to assimilate and accept.

I'm glad today went well and hope for continued positive developments.

[ClosetED]

Make some plans for Valentine's Day and tell her now, so she can know her husband still loves her very much and appreciates all she does.

[Kathy4ever]

Great Idea. Only thing is we never do anything for valentines day. I don't want her think I'm bribing her. We will have make some time another day so she will feel more appreciated.

Thank you now I just have to not let the pink fog take over. Just because she gave some green lights doesn't give me permission to take advantage. It will be hard to contain myself but I will. She is even going out tonight so i can have my fun.

[ClosetED]

Why do you not do anything for Valentine's Day? Are you sure she would not like to do something? You do want to go beyond your normal level of appreciation, which might be considered bribery, but her actions deserve doing something significant beyond the usual. Something that shows she is not losing a husband.

[Jenniferathome]

... but at this time she does not want anything to do with it. ... She just prefers not to see it.

And that is perfectly fair and reasonable. Being able to talk about it is the key. Congratulations on getting to a point to which many only dream. My only advice is to keep the dialog going....at her pace.

[Kathy4ever]

Yes she was happy I finally talked to her about it. I guess i was hoping she would take that first step for me. Over christmmas she was kinda angry and said some hurtfull things so I clammed up. I finally had an opportunity with no one around and said we have to talk. She let me do the talking and conversed for awhile. It is not how I envisioned how she was going to react. Hopefully it will progress later, but that might be just wishfull thinking. I will enjoy what freedom she has given me and if it doesn't, so be it.

She has never been into it. She hates the long waits for dinner and thinks it is a big waste of money. I buy her flowers or candy or something but I don't remember us ever going out on that night. We might go out another night when the wait or lines are smaller. What can I tell you it hasn't been that great of a deal.

[Barbara Ella]

Kathy, my wife is in kind of the same situation as your wife as far as my dressing. She encourages me to pursue myself, but wants no part of it. For Valentine's day, give her a card, and a rain check note for a lovely dinner out. Just let her know on this special day you are thinking about her and let her know you want to spend some quality time with her. Doesn't matter when you do it, but give her that promise.

Barbara

[Diversity]

That is wonderful! I am in a very similar situation and I know how good I felt when my wife and I had our talks. Good luck to you both, and keep the lines of communicaiton open and honest, as I am sure you both will.
Di

[Kathy4ever]

Great Idea!! I will do something special for her this year as will be more special for me.

Kathy, my wife is in kind of the same situation as your wife as far as my dressing. She encourages me to pursue myself, but wants no part of it. For Valentine's day, give her a card, and a rain check note for a lovely dinner out. Just let her know on this special day you are thinking about her and let her know you want to spend some quality time with her. Doesn't matter when you do it, but give her that promise.

Barbara

[JamieG]

Glad to hear things are looking up for you. It may sound cliched, but communication is so important.

[Kathy4ever]

Yes I feel a lot better and I think she is better. She has known about the crossdressing but we never talked about it. It was good two way communication.

[Breeze]

Hi Katy
I am glad it worked out for you. As a GG I have found communication is the way to go. By this I mean I never feel left out or that something is going on behind my back.
Breeze

[NeKoi]

Congrats on breaking the cold shoulder, like you said, don't let the pink fog take over, take it slow and steady, maybe even lying low (with regards to dressing) and try to talk to her more
^.^

I'm also working on talking things out. hope it works out for the both of us!

[Kathy4ever]

Yes it is nice when the air is cleared. Hopefully it does work out for both if us.

Congrats on breaking the cold shoulder, like you said, don't let the pink fog take over, take it slow and steady, maybe even lying low (with regards to dressing) and try to talk to her more
^.^

I'm also working on talking things out. hope it works out for the both of us!

[Maria in heels]

great news Kathy. Just try to keep in mind her boundaries and respect them because she is being very good with you

[Kathy4ever]

I will. Yes I am so happy she is being good about this.

great news Kathy. Just try to keep in mind her boundaries and respect them because she is being very good with you

[Teri Ray]

Wonderful news Kathy. I know how much of a burden was lifted to have the secret openly discussed. You are quite lucky. Like others here have mentioned take things slow and respect your wifes boundaries. She needs to know that you love her more than the passion to dress. Best wishes.

[Launa]

She has never been into it. She hates the long waits for dinner and thinks it is a big waste of money. I buy her flowers or candy or something but I don't remember us ever going out on that night. We might go out another night when the wait or lines are smaller. What can I tell you it hasn't been that great of a deal.

I never go out to dinner on Valentines either. I do a couple nice things that day but don't waste money because Valentine's day is a rip off in general. Retailers charge more for things and service at restaurants is always crappy. I always go out a couple weeks after V-day for a good time.

I think if you've made it to this stage you're at then things are good. I would say if you ever plan on getting dressed for a day then always give her advanced notice of what you want to do and ask her if she's ok with it on that day even if she says do what you want whenever you want.
It always worked for me and I seem to always get good dialogue from always asking. In my case I go out of the house for a night when I'm dressed so I still ask if its ok.
If she doesn't like it she will say to me, "I wanted to do something with you on that day can you do it the next day or next weekend?"

[Ceri Anne]

Glad things are off on a good start. Ripples are to be expected and taking the time to pamper her extra and make sure she knows she still has a husband will be important. I'm still working up to the talk myself, and I admire your courage because it takes a ton.

[jenni_xx]

Hi Kathy. It must feel like a weight off your shoulders being able to have the talk with your wife, and I imagine that it's also a huge weight off your wife's shoulders too. Your subsequent replies show a maturity and caring that is good to hear, and you're right in not pushing this issue or going too far too quickly. I would even suggest not dressing as often as you usually do, instead spending more time with her downstairs in drab rather than succumbing to the temptation to go upstairs and dress. Simply because, while she doesn't want to see it, she'll know that you are doing it, and if it happens too often too quickly then she may begin to resent it. For she may see it as something that is taking you away from her.

I would say, why wait until Valentine's Day? Why not just make a reservation at a restaurant for the next couple of nights, or do something similar, maybe take her shopping (just for her!) and tell her that the reason why you want to treat her is simply to say thank you and that she deserves it.

[Ariamythe]

Looking back, I was happy when I made the decision to tell my wife, even though it didn't happen under the best circumstances. Glad yours went well!

[Beverley Sims]

Now you have got this far try and respect the boundaries and above all refrain from talking about this dress or that hairdo or even that you like the dress that girl on TV is wearing.
Your wife does not need prompting and if you keep your activities away from her she will ask how you are progressing out of curiosity.
When she does ask state the facts without too much embellishment and this will prompt other question at a later date.
There is an old saying...."Curiosity killed the cat".
Curiosity also helps break down barriers. Your answers should be interesting and of the type that prompt other questions.

[Kathy4ever]

Thought about that alot today. i want to go up bad but i'll reframe from doing it.I figured since she was okay with it I don't want to push to much.

Hi Kathy. It must feel like a weight off your shoulders being able to have the talk with your wife, and I imagine that it's also a huge weight off your wife's shoulders too. Your subsequent replies show a maturity and caring that is good to hear, and you're right in not pushing this issue or going too far too quickly. I would even suggest not dressing as often as you usually do, instead spending more time with her downstairs in drab rather than succumbing to the temptation to go upstairs and dress. Simply because, while she doesn't want to see it, she'll know that you are doing it, and if it happens too often too quickly then she may begin to resent it. For she may see it as something that is taking you away from her.

I would say, why wait until Valentine's Day? Why not just make a reservation at a restaurant for the next couple of nights, or do something similar, maybe take her shopping (just for her!) and tell her that the reason why you want to treat her is simply to say thank you and that she deserves it.

That is how I was going to handle it. I'm not going to bring it up unless she wants to know more. The only thing I need to discuss with her is clarification on purcheses. Does she want me to tell, show or just take it upstairs.That was only thing that puzzled me after our talk.

Now you have got this far try and respect the boundaries and above all refrain from talking about this dress or that hairdo or even that you like the dress that girl on TV is wearing.
Your wife does not need prompting and if you keep your activities away from her she will ask how you are progressing out of curiosity.
When she does ask state the facts without too much embellishment and this will prompt other question at a later date.
There is an old saying...."Curiosity killed the cat".
Curiosity also helps break down barriers. Your answers should be interesting and of the type that prompt other questions.

[Jodi Anne]

Glad to hear this Kathy it warms my heart to read good news, too many tears on this type of thing. It may not be as much as you hoped for but it is not the end.