overheard

[cdsara]

I was walking through a store saturday and overheard two girls that were stocking shelves making fun of a crossdresser that had come in earlier. She said he asked for her help finding some things. she helped him and he left and then they were making fun of him after he left. It makes me wonder the few times i have asked for help do they do that after I leave? I was very disturbed and though about giving it all up. However I enjoy it too much. I just have to find a store to buy in that is nice about it.

[renaej7]

Its sad that so many people are so close minded. His shopping brought them no harm or ill will. Matter of fact, they should thank him, because his purchases probably went towards their sales quota. I know people talk about me when Im out, but I totally block the thought now. Its about meHAPPINESS for the first time in life. Idiots dont even make the cut anymore.

[Melissa Rose]

Are you really surprised that people talk behind others back? We have all done it. Yes, it sucks when it happens to you, but it happens and will continue to happen. And not only about cross dressers, but to anyone at the edges of the current population norms. So what? Someone may have talked about you behind your back. Are you going to give them the power to control your life and the way you feel? Does it feel good? Hell no. People will talk and make judgements, so let them. Brush it off and move on. You only have one life to live so why live someone else's version of it?

[Cheryl123]

Give it all up? Oh, Tgsara. That would mean abandoning a important part of your self. Yes, some people will laugh at us because we are different. There will always be people who laugh at those who are overweight, have a different skin tone, and different accent. But many people do not. We crossdressing sisters are pioneers. Some day we will be accepted. Someday the only laughs we will get will come when the color of our stockings clashes with the color our shoes and not because we are wearing a dress. I can remember a time when you could get arrested for crossdressing in public. So things do change and they will continue to change for the better.

[Vanessa5]

I have to agree that if you let their comments change who you are then they have the power over you. Don't let them. Be proud of yourself.

[Kittie]

This is called life. Gossip and such behaviour as you have described is common place. I have a friend who works in a hair salon and she said they sometimes sit in the back on break talking about the clients. I think many people have two faces: the professional one and the real one. Much like many of us have a 'telephone' voice.

I once walked into Ann Summers and one of the shop assistants came over and asked if I needed any product recommendations (this was a time when I was passing less successfully than I do now.) I simply shook my head and she walked back to the counter talking to her colleague, about making sales for the day. After a few minutes of minding my own business looking around I overheard 'I think it's a boy' - she thought I was out of earshot. At that point I walked out and passed them on the way out and commented about them complaining about sales and their lack of discretion. A shame too as I was about to get myself a couple of new things!

It's all a matter of how you deal with it. If I was you in that situation, I would have confronted them, but that's just me. Nyan Cat flew off with the last fnck I ever gave a long time ago.

[Lorileah]

If it makes you feel better sign on here and talk behind their backs.

Sounds like the SAs were young and they had to rag on someone. Later they probably choose the 70 year old man in black socks

[Sarah Doepner]

It's not just young sales associates, it's just about everyone it seems. I worked with law enforcement officers for many years and they were trained to be professional and respectful of everyone they met. Mostly to avoid complaints or getting sued, but it was good public relations as well. I remember more than one occasion where they were describing an encounter with a gay or trans person and after it was all over and the officer was with other cops, it was full scale verbal assault to demonstrate they were still as macho as before. It was a sad thing. I only wish I had been more comfortable with my crossdressing at the time because there were things I could have done to address the duplicity.

[Badtranny]

Is this really a shock?

Every time you think you "passed" somebody read you and gossiped abut you afterwards. The world can be a cruel place for people who dance to their own music.

[Tracii G]

Live your life and don't let them get to you.
I can't tell you how many times I have heard comments or giggling, act like its nothing and walk away.No sense in arguing with haters.
There are times when you should say something but that is a case by case decision we all have to make.
If they got up in my face I would say something but always be the better person but make your point then walk away with dignity.

[Rachelakld]

I've on occassions while walking through the shop, I gone back and complimented them on their hair, or how attractive they look, or expressed how I wish I had their hips etc. I like to think it makes a more pleasent interaction, and I get better service and pleasantries on my re-visits.

[Diversity]

As crossdressers we must recognize that these things will occur. It is really only natural that they do, since we are doing something which is out of the 'norm' in our society. So, since we know this, then it is clear that we must have a somewhat harder shell and just learn to accept that there will be those instances where such comments will occur. Your course of action is the right one. Don't give up something that you enjoy, when it is an inherent part of your spirit. Go with the flow, ride the ripples along the way, and enjoy being you. Finding another place to shop is a good idea, and it now becomes their loss in sales, a customer, and the referals the customer could have given to others. They lose. Not you!
Di

[Cheryl T]

People will always do that behind someone's back. They are too afraid to say anything to their face and just show their ignorance when they talk like that.
It's like all the people who will cut you off on the road but would never cut in line at the bank for fear someone would say something to them and call them out.
Ignore them, don't let them take away your enjoyment because of their petty nature.

[Kate Simmons]

The reality of it is that sales people have to be nice to a customer's face for business. There is never any guarantee what they will talk about after that customer leaves.

[sometimes_miss]

Just another excellent thread, and examples of why the world doesn't accept us the way so many people here seem to think it does. The world is not a friendly place for crossdressers.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sara, If they are talking about me then they are leaving you alone.

You just can't fix STUPID.

[Ressie]

It would be fun to go shopping just to get them talking about you afterwards. Learn to laugh at yourself and there won't be anything to worry about. You could even make comments that would blow their minds or make their day.

[Sara Jessica]

It would be fun to go shopping just to get them talking about you afterwards. Learn to laugh at yourself and there won't be anything to worry about. You could even make comments that would blow their minds or make their day.

Yep, accept yourself and understand that others will likely see you for who you are and life gets much easier.

Is this really a shock?

Every time you think you "passed" somebody read you and gossiped abut you afterwards. The world can be a cruel place for people who dance to their own music.

This is why passing is such an overrated term. No one has any way of knowing what happens in their wake.

Just another excellent thread, and examples of why the world doesn't accept us the way so many people here seem to think it does. The world is not a friendly place for crossdressers.

Is this supposed to be a reason not to step out from behind closed doors? I find that the world an be a very accepting place for those who are TG and if someone wants to laugh behind my back, what do I care? I wouldn't trade away all of the positive interactions and experiences on the off chance I might be someone's topic of conversation at their dinnertime.

[genevie]

Everybody talks behind your back. Family does it to your face. Life is really hard if you are in any way different. For the people who support you, those are the ones we really cherish. Your story makes me very sad and want to chuck it all also. But you have a place here where you are supported and heard. Take care of yourself first. You are important, as are all of your feelings.

[Jenara]

If I had been the one who overheard this I probably would have given the sales associates a piece of my mind. Don't be afraid to come to the defense of one of your sisters. Of course maybe this is just the Angry Italian in me.

[Tammy Nowakowski]

Are you really surprised that people talk behind others back? We have all done it. Yes, it sucks when it happens to you, but it happens and will continue to happen. And not only about cross dressers, but to anyone at the edges of the current population norms. So what? Someone may have talked about you behind your back. Are you going to give them the power to control your life and the way you feel? Does it feel good? Hell no. People will talk and make judgements, so let them. Brush it off and move on. You only have one life to live so why live someone else's version of it?

Are you really surprised that people talk behind others back? No i'm not i here it here all day long
yes we do have one life why not make it the best you can..

[SarahLynn]

Many years ago i purchased some hosery from a big name department store. As I was paying for them the sales assoicate asked if they were for me. Without a hint of time to wait I asked her, "Does it matter"? Her eyes dropped to the counter as she replied, "No". By turning the tables on her I both embarressed her and taught a lesson. The fact they were for my wife matters not anymore but at the time I knew I'd won the game.

Had I overheard them I'd have been inclined to march over and ask, "Ladies, does it matter?" Then stated, "If it doesn't matter then find something else to talk about because this one sale may be the one which keeps the store open and you on the job." Then I'd leave using as straight a catwalk as I can perform.

SarahLynn

[Jenniferathome]

Sara, it isn't just about a guy in a dress. It could have been about a fat person or a pimply person or a guy with a mullet or a facial hair on a woman or ..... The point is, the cross dresser was taken care of. He had a good time. Why worry about something said that you didn't hear and never will?

I think the gossip is directly proportional to how you carry and present yourself. Present yourself as a joke and the gossip rises. Present with confidence and a "who give a frick" attitude and there isn't much to gossip about other than "That was a guy."

[I Am Paula]

Remember, that during the lull between patrons, they also laugh at:
-Guys in hip hop gear.
-Girls with 'juicy' embroidered on their butt.
-Old ladies in 'virtual reality' sunglasses.
-Anybody with a bluetooth. (They deserve it).
-Guys or girls with the brim of their hat facing any direction but forward.
-Flat chested girls, or guys with moobs.
Yes, people talk, gossip, and laugh at other people. Call it human nature, but at least they're mostly equal opportunity about it.

[Barbra P]

There is a saying I try to keep in mind, “consider the source”. In this case what is the source? Two girls (I’m guessing young?), in a dead-end boring job, that more than likely pays little more than minimum wage, a job that is virtually without any form of personal gratification for having done a good job. One of the things these girls can share and talk about is the customers that come in the store and the customers are something they will, and do, talk about. Anything that sets one customer apart from the other customers is gist for conversation in their mundane dreary existence while on the job. When you consider the source you might come to the conclusion that these girls are girls you should feel sorry for, after all the most exciting thing in their lives to talk about was a customer that just happens to be a cross dresser.