Not quite TS.

[sometimes_miss]

I feel pretty much that way. I'm "me" regardless of how I am dressed. Being in drab means I have to exhibit male behaviors which I am proficient at after decades of practice but which I don't find pleasant. Being dressed means that I can dispense with those behaviors and adopt feminine ones, something that I'm still learning about.

^this pretty much describes it, though I don't use 'drab' to describe my male clothing, as women seem to find it rather attractive (you don't have to look plain if you don't want to; a man in a fine suit of clothes, with good posture and presence, will stand out virtually anywhere he goes). But I don't try to adopt female behavior or mannerisms, I'm not trying to convert myself into something else. Again to quote Popeye, 'I yam what I yam'. I look at my male clothing as a uniform that I have to wear to work and get through life with the least amount of aggravation; nothing more, nothing less.

[Angela Campbell]

I am pretty sure where I stand. I always thought I should be female. As far back as I can remember anyway. I spent many years performing the part of a male, and with that much practice I guess anyone can get good at it. I do not like being male, I don't like being thought of as a male. The only problem is I have spent so many years living as one that I just have too much invested to change not only my life, but the lives of my family as well. For me it is just impractical to transition so I have chosen not to. Does this mean I am or am not a TS? I guess that depends on the definition of TS. I am me. I spend time out in the world dressed as a woman, and feel good when I do. I like it when a man opens a door for me at a restaurant, or when someone calls me Maam. I like looking in the mirror and seeing myself as I think of myself, and I always feel a little sad when I have to change into a man again. Is my life a living hell because I have a male body? No. I am happy to be able to be a woman sometimes even if only in appearance. I know I will never be a woman, but what I do is enough for me. So if circumstances were different I would live full time as a woman, and I would love to have the body to match. It is not to be, so I can be happy with what I have.

[Mollyanne]

As a genetic male (ugh) I can say with authority (at least for me) that when I dress I become the female that I should have been born. I considered transitioning many times and consulted with the appropriate doctors but didn't go through with the end result because of one constraint or another. I don't know as to where I fit in (CD, TS or some other label) but I feel totally different when I am dressed fully or partially dressed. The mere thought of shedding my male behaviors for female behaviors has a profound effect on me. I much prefer my female side and wish that I had transitioned. So I guess I have a split personality, female dominated!!!!!

Molly

[Maiko Newhalf]

Hey melisss, nice thoughtful post! To me I don't have a particular agenda or road map for transition but some physical changes are very helping in terms of mitigate the gender stress. Does that make me TS or TG? :-) Part of the problem is I cannot totally focus on myself because "me" is sorta defined by people around me, not entirely but a great deal of it.

[Angela Campbell]

For me it is just that I always wanted to be a girl. I have weighed the consequences of transitioning, or even coming out to my family and employer and just cannot justify all I would lose or the discomfort I would cause to others. I have known this since I was very young and it never ebbed or changed. I always wanted to be female but I have realized I cannot be. It is good enough to be able to present as one at times when I can. If I could I would always present as a lady. I am not different when dressed as when in drab. I am this way due to a birth defect and I can accept that. There are many things about me that just aren't right as a male and never have been.I actually feel more like a crossdresser when I am dressed as a man than when as a lady. I feel normal then.