Question for the GG's on dressing (CD opinion also welcome and encourgaed)

[Brittany CD]

I'm hoping for some opinions from the GG's regarding crossdressing. Let's be honest, crossdressing is a little unusual as it involves men putting on dresses wearing wigs, and putting on makeup, not a very common occurrence for a man. As everyone who has been to the picture and video gallery knows, crossdressers can be absolutely beautiful women. In viewing the boy to girl thread, it is amazing how these men have made themselves into attractive women. What I'm curious about is the reaction to all this. Heck, I feel a little weird when I look in the mirror and see a different person with a pretty face and long hair. My question is how do you react to all this? If you're a woman who knows a crossdresser, especially if you're dating/married to one, what kind of reaction do you get when your man becomes a woman? Does it affect your view of him? Do you like that men can be attractive woman to?

[withasmile]

Guys who look beautiful as a woman you really have to admire, especially if they also have style and some class. While I get why men love '****ty outfits' on their girls on on themselves - most women look down on genetic girls who dress too provocative. It's even less attractive in my opinion on a CD. Unless it is done as bedroom play. Men who don't really pass, or outright look terrible dressed, while I'd be supportive, it's hard to fathom why someone would choose to do so when they would look better as a man. In our shallow society, looks matter.

And no, his CDing doesn't affect how I view him. Not one bit.

[AshleeM]

Men who don't really pass, or outright look terrible dressed, while I'd be supportive, it's hard to fathom why someone would choose to do so when they would look better as a man. In our shallow society, looks matter.

Such a sad thing too, this keeps me from going out of the house a lot of times.

[Tracii G]

I really have to put some effort in to passing so its a challenge at best.
I actually passed better when I was 250 lbs (5'7") BTW.
Some women can deal with it some can't and I would like to know what is it that attracts a woman to a man the does CD?
I know the reasons why they don't LOL.

[ReineD]

My question is how do you react to all this? If you're a woman who knows a crossdresser, especially if you're dating/married to one, what kind of reaction do you get when your man becomes a woman? Does it affect your view of him? Do you like that men can be attractive woman to?

I'm trying to bring myself back to the beginning, to give you my first impressions. I had known my SO strictly in male mode for 3 years before we started dating, so the first time I saw her dressed did seem a little odd. How would it not, since all the men in my life never presented as women. I didn't think any less of my SO because I understood her need to dress and I respected her needs. I did admire how well she managed to transform. She had been doing this on a regular basis for 10 years when I met her, so she had the medical grade forms, boned waist cinchers, hip & butt pads, etc, plus she had her own long hair (tied at the nape in male mode), and she knew how to apply makeup. So yes, it felt a little odd at first when I discovered that the person I was attracted to enjoyed presenting as a woman, but I got used to it in fairly short order, I was so head over heels in love.

I was still attracted to my SO while dressed, however, this was not because she dressed. I guess you could say that it was in spite of it. I am hetero and not ordinarily attracted to women, women's breasts, women's legs, women in short skirts, women in lingerie, etc, so I cannot say that my SO's feminine appearance did it for me. But, I still was very much attracted to my SO just because s/he was still my SO. If this makes sense.

A few sensory things did turn me off in the bedroom though. I asked her to not wear perfume or lipstick. This was just too femininely tactile for me and as I said, I'm hetero. And now it's been many years and I see all her manners of expression as just as much a part of him and her as all his and her moods. My SO is the same person to me no matter how dressed, with or without makeup, so it's as if gender doesn't come into it, although I do recognize that sometimes he is more feminine or she is more masculine.


As to the clothes or manner of presentation while we are out, if my SO wanted to dress provocatively (she doesn't), I'd be upset. In fact this did happen in the beginning a few times and the message I got from this was that she wanted guys to pick her up. If I wore a sexy, tight, short, angora sweater dress with sexy shoes, I would most definitely know that I'd be eye candy for men and I would wear such a dress if I wanted to be noticed by them ... or noticed by my SO. And since I'm not attracted to female boobs, female curves, and female legs, I took it that my SO was not dressing that way for me and she was rather dressing that way for men. I was not happy. And before some of you think this was because I was jealous (), I was not. I am tall, size 8 and therefore wear clothes well, have long hair, and have been told that I am attractive. I am fully confident in my femininity.

When I'm out with my SO I still see us as a romantic couple in my heart, even though we don't hold hands, hug or kiss in public as a couple, since she is dressed. And I hate, HATE, giving the impression to the men who might be in the restaurant or bar that we are two single girls out looking for a good time and are therefore approachable. I can't tell you how much I hate that. This has happened a few times and I've got to say that it made me feel completely, utterly numb for my SO. It was as if s/he wasn't my SO any more and was just a regular girlfriend. At a fundamental level, it had a negative impact on my feelings towards my SO. It took me a few days to disengage my mind from that scenario. I found it an incredibly empty feeling.

[noeleena]

Hi,

I have many women friends & a few i showed to them quite a few pic's of some dresser's i know , well they thought they looked lovely just like women or so they thought till i said i know all these people & they are all men..... no they are not ,,,oh yes they are, oh wow, my friends said they dressed & looked better than they did,

as iv said before i get quite embarrised around men who are dresser's, now i wonder why. maybe my friends have said it better they look like women all dressed up.

yes my clothes are nice i dress in period wear for two groups & make my clothes to suit myself so at least i look right, maybe plain as youll know from my avitar , my detail is i dont look like a female or woman well facial wise anyway, my body over all is with in a normal female as to my age, because im intersexed i did not get every thing a normal female has,

Attractive, ... no... im not .sure not as a female, i was told i looked a very attractive as a male would look like, handsome maybe. as a percived male, myself never liked how i looked, & no different now. & makeup tryed that & have given up so no .

I have been told by very good friends even though im a female / woman we dont all have those looks that many women have,
So youd find it hard to see in my looks a female, there are other things about myself that will tell you where i lack i makeup in other ways, & that is were my strength lie's .

As iv told others here i know what its like to be with some 85 most dresser's & feel so out of the weekend because i dont measure up to how those were dressed & looked, to the point of just wonting to leave , so yes it can be quite hard being a woman & knowing you just feel so out of the procedings .

Tomorrow ill be with our Edwardian group yes we dress in the time of 1900 to 1910 & yes my women friends just accept im a woman plain as , so i dont compeat as to how they dress in our finery frilly lovely clothes, because i would look so out of place, any way they know me to well now even dressed with my bonnit im accepted, i may not pass the looks test , at least i am a woman. so its not all bad,

...noeleena...

[Carol A]

ReineD,
I have to agree with you 100%, my wife of 49 years still thinks as you do. She let's me dress when ever but doesn't like going out with me. How as to what you told your SO is the same as my wife has told me all along "you are still the same MAN I married no matter what cloths you are wearing".

[Jordan-NH]

I haven't been able to get my GF to join the board yet, so I'll do my best to answer for her. So she loves me, there's no doubt about that. And CD'ing had created a lot of conversations since we started dating. On one hand, because she cares so much, she wants to help me with it. Pick out clothes, jewelry and such. She's even talked about how she wishes she could take me out. Now on the other side of the coin is the challenging part. We've never gone out with me dressed because she's so scared of who might see or what might happen. Around the house I have yet to be able to do much. When I dress she starts to see me as a different person. I think that part confuses her greatly because she can't see the person she fell in love with. When I do dress up, even slightly, I think I loose her completely in a physical manner. She has told me a couple times in the past that she's not gay and that to be with me when dressed would just be too blurry of a line. But we're still growing as a couple and we're both trying to figure our relation ship out.

[Beverley Sims]

In my younger days the GG's that supported me thought I was awesome.
Today if they said that I would think it was awesome as well.
Because I looked convincing dressed I had two or three teams of girls who liked dressing and making me up.
It was a competition between them and I got free makeup and scored the odd dress that someone grew out of.
They put on weight and I didn't.

[Di]

What I'm curious about is the reaction to all this.

We met here and I knew Sherlyn before meeting the guy side.
I fell in love with Sherlyn and when I met my guy was equally in love with my guy.
Many yrs later still feel the same. Sherlyn is beautiful,sexy,fun and sweet and guy side is adorable,strong,fun. When they say that line....BEST OF BOTH WORLDS....in my case it is very true.

[Maria S]

A few years back I longed to go out with GGs and just be counted as one of the girls (as I continue to do). My wife is very supportive even a little jealous how good I look. However she will not be seen out with me not for her sake but for mine in case people look, stare and talk behind my back. That rarely happens now as I pass with flying colours. One of my neighbours at the time who also dressed has a GG grown up daughter. She knew about her dad and about me. One day she and I (in girl mode) went out to lunch. It was magic.

Maria

[Tibby]

What I'm curious about is the reaction to all this. Heck, I feel a little weird when I look in the mirror and see a different person with a pretty face and long hair. My question is how do you react to all this? If you're a woman who knows a crossdresser, especially if you're dating/married to one, what kind of reaction do you get when your man becomes a woman? Does it affect your view of him? Do you like that men can be attractive woman to?

I don't see it as unusual, as this is usual for us so nothing out of the ordinary. I also believe CDing is more common than society would care to admit or that any of us would be aware of due to those who CD in private and keep it secret. My SO has never gone out in public and at present has no interest in going out in public dressed, it is also secret from all family and friends so i can not comment on what reaction we would get form others.

My SO has always been more interested in the clothes rather than the make up and hair side of CDing, he does get the full appearance change at times but generally due to my prompting or saying I want to give him a make over. As it's me who transforms him the change isn't one which causes me any concerns as it's me who's done it.

No matter what he is wearing or how he looks I know it's him and can see past the appearance so I always see the person I love. His character/personality doesn't change and it is was this part of him that I fell in love with, so no matter what he is wearing my feelings for him don't change.

I wouldn't say that I like that men can be attractive as women but I would say that I like that men can feel confidence and security to express themselves in a way they are comfortable with. I find confidence and self awareness attractive not just how someone looks, yes obviously looks to come into but it's certainly not the ultimate point of finding him attractive, afterall you can have a very physical attractive man or woman but they can be very shallow and be ugly in personality.

Some women can deal with it some can't and I would like to know what is it that attracts a woman to a man the does CD?
I know the reasons why they don't LOL.

I don't think women are specifically attracted to a man who CD's, they are attracted to the person, the whole package of them. The CDing side is just another aspect of that person. When I first met my husband the thought never crossed my mind that he CD'd. I'd already fallen in love with him when it first came up and that was only because I took my bra off and put it on him during a bit of playtime, he then put on my whole outfit (which was a bit of a squeeze due to sizing difference). It just went from there, he kept syaing it was only fun and play but I started to realise that there was more to it than what he claimed. As I loved him and could see he was holding back on admitting something which was obviously very hard for him to say, I wanted to help him learn to accept this side of him. When he did tell me he had always CD'd and had first started as a child he was distraught as if he was terrified how I would react. For me though it's less about CDing and more about supporting my husband, loving him, seeing him happy and encouraging him to live to his full potential, the exact same things that he does for me. So even know about the CDing, that's not what attracts me to him, it's simply just him that attracts me.

[Maria S]

We met here and I knew Sherlyn before meeting the guy side.
I fell in love with Sherlyn and when I met my guy was equally in love with my guy.
Many yrs later still feel the same. Sherlyn is beautiful,sexy,fun and sweet and guy side is adorable,strong,fun. When they say that line....BEST OF BOTH WORLDS....in my case it is very true.

Now that is lovely a whole new side to meeting on the internet and falling in love.

Maria

[kittypw GG]

Personally I don't see the attractive women thing. When I see the man to women pic threads I always think the person looks better as the man they are over the feminine presentation. I guess my ex husband could look nice if I did his hair, makeup and picked out his clothes. If left to his own devices he would look sort of like a sl##ed up "Maude" of the old tv series fame. Now that he is fully transitioned and had a sex change he is not any better. His clothing and make up are ............ well lets say not so good. The last person who I know that saw him said he was wearing red sweat pants cut off at the knee and a blue blouse. So, how did his female presentation make me feel? Exhausted and sort of lonely because after he was done up there was very little time for me. Did it affect how I viewed him? Yes, but he was never honest about who or what he was so I stopped even participating.

[Jenniferathome]

... look sort of like a sl##ed up "Maude" of the old tv series fame.

Now THAT'S a vision I think will take weeks to get out of my head!

...When I see the man to women pic threads I always think the person looks better as the man they are over the feminine presentation....

Regarding this point, I don't know if it is better, although my wife would agree with you, but I think we cross dressers have a hard time seeing objectively. The number of cross dressers who "look like attractive women" can be counted on one hand. We need to be objective and need to realize that our wive prefer the men they married.

[~Joanne~]

before some of you think this was because I was jealous (), I was not. I am tall, size 8 and therefore wear clothes well, have long hair, and have been told that I am attractive. I am fully confident in my femininity.

As you should be as you are a gorgeous woman The word "attractive" doesn't do you justice.

My GF is taking a nap right now and I don't want to wake her to ask her silly CD questions lol but this thread certainly brings up some interesting ones that I hadn't thought about. Maybe I will ask her about them later tonight, after I get home from work, and share the results

[Badtranny]

If left to his own devices he would look sort of like a sl##ed up "Maude"

Hysterical.

You might be in the wrong section for this kind of blunt assessment Kitty. ;-)

[ReineD]

ReineD,
I have to agree with you 100%, my wife of 49 years still thinks as you do. She let's me dress when ever but doesn't like going out with me.

Thanks Carol, but please allow me to expand. I do enjoy going out dressed with my SO, and we do this frequently. I don't enjoy it when we are seen by the single men who are also in the room as if we are 'available', 'approachable', or 'on the make' ... and a woman does not have to look sl*tty in order to send "available" messages.

We send distinct signals with the ways that we choose to present. And when two girlfriends go out dressed to the nines - when they are dressed as if they are out on a date with a new boyfriend as opposed to the way that two women will dress when they just want to catch up and be left alone, they do give off a certain 'availability' message. I hate that with a passion, since I do not see my SO and I as two women who are out looking for a good time, the way my single friends and I used to when we were younger. And I hate it if men who are seeing us, feel free to approach us based on the message they are getting by our style of presentation.

There's a reason that mothers tell their daughters to not show off their cleavage, legs, or curves too much ... unless they are out looking for a man.

[KatieGG]

I think some of the guy to girl pics are amazing, it's really cool how some men can look good as either gender. As far as seeing my husband dressed up it doesn't really faze me since I was with him since the start so I was used to seeing him dressed well before we got married. When we first met I thought it was a little odd I guess but not in a " omg whats wrong with him" way. I guess it was more intriguing than anything and I was curious to see what he would look like fully dressed.