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Thread: Come out to my fiance

  1. #1
    Junior Member samantha_lie's Avatar
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    Come out to my fiance

    So i finally had to tell my fiance that im not just a guy, but that a part of me feels and wants to be a girl. Now im unsure of myself when it comes to how far i want to go with this transformation. For now its mainly clothes and liking things most would consider girly. Anyways she seem to takeit well and for the most part supports me. But i have a problem, every time i want to let more of this side out i get scared it will be to much for her. She says she is completely fine with this and just wants all of me including my girl side. Am i over reacting and should relax?

    P.S. sorry for any misspellings or grammar errors I'm using a tablet and havent quite gotten use to it.
    Last edited by samantha_lie; 02-05-2013 at 11:29 AM.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I would try and relax, do not tell her much more at the moment, let what you have told her sink in.
    If she does ask for more information feed her a little at a time.
    She could be turned off by some aspect of your dressing and if you blurt out too much information you are not likely to pick up on where you went wrong.
    Yes little bits of information and try not to bring the subject up yourself.
    She may be thinking about something more pleasant that pleases her nd does not need that space shattered by more of "I saw a lovely dress I would like to buy today."
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  3. #3
    Junior Member danielleinbr's Avatar
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    If you trust her in believing what she says I dont see why you shouldnt show her. It is better for her to know that side of you now, rather than later. She may be a little shocked, but all you can do is take her at her word. If you are still uncomfortable with it maybe you should discuss it with her a little more in depth.
    Danielle

  4. #4
    Member missmars's Avatar
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    I envy you. You will make happy family.

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member outhiking's Avatar
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    Well done! That was a brave step indeed. It's probably best to take it slow and let her take the lead for a bit. Some SO's seem open to this at first, but then have a harder time if everything changes too quickly. I think you are off to a good start and are walking before trying to run.

  6. #6
    Junior Member samantha_lie's Avatar
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    Thank you outhiking, ive been trying so hard the last few day to explain this to her that ive made myself a mess. Even tho she seems to be really ok with this. Going so far as to make a shared panties drawer (we wear the same size) I need to just slow down and see what happens.

  7. #7
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    You will be the first to know if things change. As long as it's mainly about the clothes, you don't want to be a woman. Once you get in touch with yourself and you feel you are a female, then it is different. I believe many women are accepting of a CD partner as they like the fact that they can express both sides of themselves. Could go back to psychodynamics in that they always wanted Mom and Dad to be an equal team. Either way if it works well for you it's worth the effort Hon.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by samantha_lie View Post
    ..., every time i want to let more of this side out i get scared it will be to much for her.
    If you are WITHHOLDING anything from her still, THAT is dangerous. Make sure you tell her everything you know/think. Talk first, act second.

  9. #9
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    If your girlfriend gives an inch, don't take a mile. Take it slow and do not throw too much at her at once. Women can change their minds, especially if their manly man starts to disappear. Remember a women is usually attracted by the guy she met, and, not his inner woman.

  10. #10
    Junior Member pink.switch.love's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    If you are WITHHOLDING anything from her still, THAT is dangerous. Make sure you tell her everything you know/think. Talk first, act second.
    I agree. It also amazes me how people get to the point that they are engaged and the person they are with doesn't know.

  11. #11
    Aspiring Member Tammy Nowakowski's Avatar
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    I would show her this forum and have her join the F.A.B. i bet they could help her with matter as well
    just take it one step at a time
    tammy

  12. #12
    Junior Member samantha_lie's Avatar
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    pink.switch.love Its a long story but basically I turn this side of me off. But I felt if we are going to spend the rest of our lives together then I had to tell her. She said she knew I was more feminine then i was letting on.

  13. #13
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    Samantha, it sounds like she has given you an open invitation to tell her everything, so do it.

  14. #14
    ADMINISTRATOR Sandra's Avatar
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    You keep anything from her and then reveal it at a later date then she I bet she will not be best pleased. Give her some credit and tell her everything now, leave it and you're heading for trouble.
    Sandra
    Administrator

    I always used to rib you about your legs can't anymore. R.I.P Sexy Legs

    R.I.P Rianna

  15. #15
    Member cdsara's Avatar
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    When I cane out to my so I held back then told her more later. I should have told her everything to start with. She was not pleased. I wish I had told her everything before we married but that's behind me now. She might have been OK with it but now she's not. I am just trying to be happy with what I have. I am just saying tell them everything but run it over in your head first to make sure it doesn't sound to scary.

  16. #16
    Junior Member samantha_lie's Avatar
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    Told my fiance about this site and my username.

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