I think 'looking good' has different meanings depending on whether or not someone passes. What does it mean to say that someone who doesn't pass at all looks good? Looks good as what - a woman or a well turned-out crossdresser? Stylish, good hair/makeup? Perhaps that's what it would mean in that particular context. Ultimately I think it depends on what you're trying to achieve, and that may differ between transsexuals and crossdressers.Originally Posted by Nikki50/50
You might think you'll pass 95% of the time but that's probably your opinion. It might not be reality.
You're not helping anybody here regardless whether you mention who they are or not.
For those that can pass, all themoer power to you. Bot for the rest of us, I think the goal should be to be comfortable and not feel like you are attracting unwanted negative attention. I am not quite comfortable with how I look in a public setting so I choose not to go out in public. maybe some day but it will be on my terms with how I feel....not on other peoples terms or definitions.
Fascinating discussion. Thanks for all the comments!
Ultimately, look in the mirror and like what you see, right?
Without trying to boast I go out most weekdays and am amongst hundreds of people of all ages both male and female and to my knowledge not one of them realises I am a bloke.
Maria
It's definitely "not" reality.
I'd rather be a good looking Crossdresser than a blend into the crowd.... looking female...... wearing friggin jeans... lol
Atta boy - errr......GIRL Karren..............................Debra
I will never pass as a woman, at least close up and from a frontal view. Height and weight may be proportional, but, I am on the upper end of female spectrum for body size; 6 foot even and 195 pounds. Now I am proportioned with no beer belly. I make an effort to appear as womanly as possible, even if I am a stay in the home cross dresser. If I am going to emulate a woman, I want to look like a tastefully dressed woman. I always wear a pretty dress that any woman would wear to the mall or work. I always wear proper undergarments and hosiery. I always don a wig, although I forego the makeup due to time constraints.
I see too many GG's who make absolutely no effort in making themselves presentable. (The same goes for men.) I don't mean running down to the mailbox at the curb. I mean in an environment where you expect to encounter people, like a store or mall.
I worked in a professional office environment where many professional women came to work in sweat suits, capri pants, sandals, jeans, almost to the extent of beach or BBQ attire. Now these people were interacting with CPA's, attorneys, and their clients.
I've read article indicating many firms were getting rid of dress down Fridays, because it was having a negative effect on productivity.
As to the direct question. If you know you cannot pass for a woman, there is no reason not to dress up. In a recent thread someone stated he felt he looked like an overweight woman and was ugly. I see many overweight woman who are tastefully dressed. I also see many obese woman who wear tight outfits to the extent they look like sausages stuffed into too tight a casing. Ugh!
Some of the pictures posted on this forum, who have the stature and poise and looks and wear tasteful attire, I know you'll pass in any environment. I don't mean just the very young, but, all the ages.
Yes, exactly, BUT don't look too long!
But what is the fun of passing? OK, that's an achievement but do you have any interaction with people?
I'm out most weekdays too. 95% of people are busy doing their own thing. As long as my basic cues (body shape, walk, makeup, etc) are right they'll pass on by none the wiser.
Interacting with others quickly has me read if I'm not already but engaging is empowering, validating and reduces the loneliness of a CDer. It has given me a whole new perspective on the tolerance/acceptance within the community.
hmm.
I like that.
I have been lucky to have a couple of friends who transition/transitioned.
I' m a half-transitioner....I'm completely happy with that. I am me.
A shorty (5'6") like me has no problem in the public eye, except for certain folks who study us.
Last edited by NathalieX66; 02-08-2013 at 04:18 PM.
Maybe I will never pass personally - I don't know enough about the female persona I am emulating to even hazard a guess. I certainly have regrets I never tried earlier in life, as I am now in the middle of life, at that hard stage someone posted earlier. I'm definitely bloke-looking, but playing on Taaz I can see potential in myself to become more feminine.
But...
I'm not going to delude myself and think I will pass even then. If I'm completely honest, I don't think I want to - my personality would be destroyed if I were to try and fail, get read or have scorn poured on me. I'm not that strong a character to do that. I just want to be happy as I can trying my best to transform away from the male side, making myself as much female as I can. Lose the body hair, lose the flab, look after my skin. Things I never did whilst I remained simply male.
i dress for me...it makes me feel good and thats who i am. when i go out, i dress conservative and not over the top. i do try to blend. i'm not trying to draw attention to me. honesty i have no idea how people view me but i don't really care. i'm sure if they look hard enough, i'm not fooling anyone!! but it's not about them, it's how i feel that is important to me. i love it and enjoy it...and that's all that matters!
paula
You're right, I will rephrase my last politicaly correct comment and say some people might think they pass "95% of the time" but its probably because people don't want to get caught looking a CD in the eye and just quickly look away once they recodnize us.
The other 5% of the time people will look you in the eye and let you know it.
I agree with you wholeheartedly on this point. I just want to look good. Something is going to give me away. But I don't care. All I want someone to say is, "I know that's a guy, but he sure looks good." Everyone can appreciate a person who is well put together.
Hugs,
Zoe
The sum total of what I believe is the healthiest approach to passabilty was shown in this clip from "My Transsexual Summer." Look to blend. Realize that unless you have extreme surgery and / or good genes and transition at a very young age, it's not happening. But, it's not the end of the world, and you can still have an amazing time.
Be honest, and open, open and positive and people will react positively. It's that simple.
Looking good. becauseIam to tall
I know I don't pass and I have never been under any illusion that I do, but am generally "left alone" when out in public dressed. My presentation is very "non-threatening" as a GG friend once told me; I look like a short, chubby middle aged professional woman. I am almost always a bit overdressed when I go out, but I guess since I am otherwise not very interesting after being read people have a smirk or giggle and they just move on.
It may be that, possibly a step further: It depends on what you try to achieve, regardless of who you are, CD, TS, or just as you usually are. Each of us is our own island (Sorry, John Donne, but times are different now :P)
Teacii G'
You hit the nail dead on the head and that is my total outlook, but I add two more things to it. #1 a nice smile when around people, #2 I always say TY to folks. Life as a CD'er is nothing but healthy for your well being.
I couldn't agree with you more. There are times, given my body structure and height, when I'm certainly not going to pass convincingly. But I do think I can strive to be nicely put together, attractive if you will, and express the peron in side...even if someone reads me as a dude.
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