Count me as another who basically agrees with the OP...I am fine with being a man, and don't really have the desire to become a woman. For me, the clothes, etc, give me a feeling inside that I really can't describe, all I know is it makes me feel good and I enjoy it. Kind of between 'peacefulness' and 'excitement'...yeah, I know that is like total opposites, but I'm sure some of you can relate.
"Masquerading as a man with a reason, my charade is the event of the season" ('Carry On Wayward Son' by Kansas)
Hiya Andrea, thank you for the insightful post as you sound a lot like me with the way you think. I believe what you describe is exactly the case for most of, how it's like a drug or adrenaline junky who eventually searches for the next 'high' when their current activity starts to dwindle in it's current effect. Not the same as a drug addict per say as their is a physical addiction added to the mix in those cases but still, the process of a CD is similar IMO.Originally Posted by andrea lace
The question is why is it crossdressing becomes the 'drug of choice' per say? Please don't misunderstand the use of 'drug of choice' as a bad thing as that is not my intention. Why do we get the 'urge' to dress for stimulation? What is the hidden element(s) creating the urge in the first place?
That is the most confusing question of all for us and the reason a lot of us say "I gave up trying to figure it out and just go with it" IMO. We all have the answer ourselves already but it takes a lot of hard work and going through a lot of painful memories from our pasts to figure it out which is easily enough to deter someone from going deeper.
Most just want to feel good.
"What I was wondering about is to reach that sensation of pleasure when I dress is it necessary to take the experience further.
As things progress and to get the same pleasurable experience will I need to take things further like going out of the house dressed etc?
I have just started my journey and I am just trying to get a handle on things.
Thanks Andrea x "
You seem worried or concerned Andrea. Little wonder given that the above thought process ^^^ is one of the many common Forum MYTHS. [I am guessing you have read it mumerous times in the short time you have been here?] That we are ALL on a journey and we have no idea where we will be down the road a month or a year from now. And that we are ALL always going to want more, more, more. Or that we ALL want or need our SO to participate. Some of the silly people here will even tell you that there is a right way and a wrong way to CD...
I would not worry about the future. When the time comes YOU will know if you want or NEED to leave your house "dressed". When or IF that time comes, don't "let Mean Ol' Society" be your excuse to stay locked in the closet. Another Forum MYTH and possibly the biggest one of all.
Last edited by Wildaboutheels; 02-12-2013 at 08:12 PM.
SAndra....Bang!!!! you hit the nail on the head ...It is a great feeling inside of you and me and others that we just don't want to part with...you go girl!
PS Today is my FIRST for underdressing YA HOO!
Just got back from clothes sshopping...can't wait to try everything on ...so far so good out of the house with underwear on !
Last edited by nhlighthouse; 02-13-2013 at 09:30 AM. Reason: more data
I do it for pretty much the same reasons as you Andrea. Because it's a blast!
Hi Andrea, It's very simple , It's who I am and it' what I do !!
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
There have been many replies to this post so far and I have to say, I can agree with most of the sentiments expressed. After nearly 40 years, I still don't know the answer as to why I crossdress!! It just seems right to express some internal desire to emulate a woman - I definitely have a feminine side to my nature. Perhaps one answer may have given a clue: 'I guess it is possible for a young boy to have some maternal imprinting done on him because his mom always wanted a girl.' - Yes, my Mum was one of a family of sisters and all of them only produced boys. My Mum was the youngest and she, the next older sister DEFINITELY were disappointed by only producing boys.
Perhaps the first hint of my future CD activities came at about 10 yrs old when I joined the local amateur dramatic society. Getting dressed up as someone else (male roles I should add) and then having makeup applied was certainly an interesting experience.
It was years later that true CD activities started and it just grew until I fully transformed. I change to a more softer and calmer person as many have also stated. I've no intention of going for hormones or SRS, I like too many things about my male persona but do like to transform to a classy lady from time to time. My SO helps me to choose nice clothes and makes suggestions about makeup etc so I'm one of the lucky ones.
That's my take on it.
xx Polly
On a journey from here to there. Mostly here but sometimes there....
Well ANDREA today is day two(2) for me underdressing and just the thought knowing that I will be wearing female underwear is exciting even before putting them on! Today I will step it up bit, "walk before you run" maybe a sport bar along with a white LACED thong along with Cupid Valentine's silk boxer short over them. The feeling I and others recieve is priceless and a form of a female surrounding you with affection. The bar will provide a artifical embrace like a HUG would provide. Just my take on it , does anyone agree or feel the same as I do?
Last edited by nhlighthouse; 02-14-2013 at 08:30 AM. Reason: add data
For me, I think, it is both a form of escapism and a search for tranquility. Some times I feel I simply must get away from the pressures of other peoples mental health concerns completely, and I have found that the process of dressing initiates a real change in perspective and self perception. It feels comfortable, relaxing fulfilling and self nurturing - something we all need.
One of our posters has suggested that the Lamarckian approach has been proven completely wrong, and while agree that imprinting is certainly not permanent, that is only a part of the issue. To deny environmental and parental influences on the formation of character is, I suspect, naive at best.
If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!
After a few sessions with counselors and many years of self-analysis I have given up on trying to figure out why I like to cross dress. For many years it was just a few items of clothing for quick cd sessions (for lack of a better word). I have quit (purged) too many times to count and lost too many pretty clothes in the process. So I have resolved to quit purging for good. In fact, Rita's wardrobe has overtaken the closet and dressers and now some of his stuff will have to go. I still like my male side and his interests and activities, but I truly enjoy my feminine side and look forward to being Rita. The transformation to Rita is just ...
Lamarck's theory was that acquired characteristics could be inherited. If a person, for example, worked out in the gym and developed large muscles, his/her offspring would tend to have large muscles. That sounds silly to us now, but not in Lamarck's time. So if a boy was raised to be feminine, using various influences, his son would tend to be feminine as well (according to Lamarck's theory).
Last edited by NicoleScott; 02-16-2013 at 11:09 AM.
Wow... I couldn't have said it any better...It is a escape and no one gets hurt in the process.Day two for me was great knee highs and bra all day long along with a Laced Thong! Oh what a feeling! Friday Pantyhose and silk panties!along with sports bra!
Hi,Andrea. Like you I've just started my journey though the woman inside me has wanted to come out for years. I can't explain it,but since I've been dressing,I feel like a new woman. All I know is when I'm Barbara and look in the mirror,I don't see that ugly old man any more.I see a vital,middle aged woman. I feel pretty and alive,and happier than I have in years. I don't fully understand it,I just go with it.
I don't know if I will ever know the actual part of my DNA that is responsible for my feminine attributes, but what a wonderful world it would be if every human had them. Native Americans called it "two spirits" because it was a person who could understand both genders because they were two people in one body. I do know it was not a choice, it was not impression by anyone dressing me as a child. My mother always wanted a girl, but this would only come into play if her deep desires would have changed her chemistry while I was being created, however that might have effected the result of my mental makeup. I was raised completely as a boy, but I knew from a very young age that I liked feminine things. I could tell mom was taken aback by a few early childhood questions. I remember asking why boys couldn't wear pantyhose, and getting the answer that they gave us the chance a long time ago but we turned it down.
We may never know why we have these desires, but the overwhelming number of honest CD's have spoken. It is not a choice, no matter how many in the non CD population think it is, they have not been down this road. Most of this is due to rigid religious thinking, and maybe the fear that if it is out of our control then ....Gasp..... one of their children might be born a CD, Gay, etc.
Karen said it very well. Once we understand the nature of our mental makeup, we can stop torturing ourselves and live and enjoy life. This web site has been a treasure of real information for me. I now know these things beyond a shadow of a doubt so I don't have to drive myself crazy constantly second guessing if what I do is a crime, a sin, or something that needs fixed. I now know that I am not the only person on the planet that was not born to be "Gender Restricted" (did I just make up a new term?) I'll shave what I want, wear what I want, and go where I want, baring realistic safety concerns.
Until I found this site, it seems the whole world hated our kind and it made me second guess if I was some kind of freak who should live in shame. Now I live by the motto of Red in "Shawshank Redemption". Get busy living, or get busy dieing. I have a lot of living to do, and I'm not going to waste another day.
I am not blind
nhlighthouse -- when you posted this I said to myself, this girl said it all for me. She's got it together. I wish I could say that about myself. Then, the next post asks for help. And the next post says wait until you have 10 messages to sent a PM (private message). And it appears you have 13. It's all so confusing. But, how GREAT it FEELS.
All I know about myself this morning (before coffee) is that I have my outfits, my make up, my (medically prescribed) black panty hose and, if I want to, I can look and feel like a woman. If I am alone I can do chores around the house as a woman. I am quite confident (unlike the Robbin of three months ago) that I can never really fool anyone else. And I could never to this in front of my wife.
Good luck finding solace from others. This site can help, so much. My best, nhlighthouse
Last edited by Robbin_Sinclair; 02-16-2013 at 06:57 AM.
This is another post that I so identify with. The ugly old man who has a pretty dress, hose and lovely feminine eyes. Ah, solace.
Re: Discovery of Femininity: One thing that I have never written about is a bit of a different twist. I have a stepdaughter in the house who is just starting to discover her own sexuality. Moreso, she questions things quite intelligently LGBT issues and how they relate to bullying in school.
This odd for me because I feel that we are on parallel paths --both discovering something new to us.
Other than being the voice of tolerance and understanding when asked, I remain in the role of the stable stepfather in the home. Her mother makes all decisions regarding child raising. My only asset to this family unit is to keep the house, car and garden in perfect running order. Such a life.
Perhaps, I should take this topic to the Writer's Forum.
Last edited by Robbin_Sinclair; 02-16-2013 at 07:21 AM.
I started this journey looking for something sexual and found something better "Myself" a much happier self. Jaymee
so beautifully said...I feel the same way. I haven't got to wearing the clothes over the underwear yet and my SO still doesn't know . I was thinking of telling her this weekend seeing that there is a extra day in it! What your take?
Last edited by nhlighthouse; 02-16-2013 at 10:26 PM. Reason: error spelling
Well I took that HUGE step today and told my SO about my desires about wearing and dressing in womens clothes....and God Bless her she was so supported and understood of how it was affecting me by holding it all in me. I was on edge when talking to her and she didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of my fustration. Now she has given me the green light to bring my clothes in the house a separate laundry bag for my undies or tighty whitys . Can a gurl ask for anything more? Right now I just slipped into a danskin hooded top and sending out the news of the day to all you Gurls...Nylons & Heels from Mychelle.
Last edited by nhlighthouse; 02-17-2013 at 06:36 PM. Reason: spelling error
well robbin...I took my steps Sunday after telling my wife about my wants and desires about wearing womens clothes...went especially well and she is understanding and supportive in my journey. Now that I don't sneak around wearing under garments it really has kinda lost the sparkle that the underhand way of getting away with something almost like a complusive shoplifter trying to see what they can get away with ...Any takers on this view? Hey gurls thanks for being there and all the support! ...Mychelle!
PS it is so relaxing know ing that if I want to put on some say stretch pants with a spandex hood top and acceriosys I just do it Last night I slept in a Nylon night gown right along side my wife and I tell you "OH WHAT A FEELING" I love my wife even more n ow knowing what women have to go to make them selves just right for you...what an education...Looking for FEEDBACK
have been out to my s/o for just over a year. i have known for 30 years i liked to dress. it's a rush and a calm all at the same time.
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