I think I'm busted....

[Jamie001]

You are busted really bad and need to come out to your wife. You are risking your marriage by not being honest.

[Matia]

If I may, I think this is an example of behaviour I often see among us, before we embrace the girl within us, we like to "surf" on the wave of getting caught.. There's certain thrill to it,
doing something forbbiden, it's something that excites us and something that fades away later when we become more girly. It's like wearing girl clothes under the male clothes, thinking,
what if somebody sees it ? , Leaving little marks "unintentionally" and then be like "oh shit, now she knows" I think it's kind of similar like when some people like to have sex in public spaces
and the possibility of others coming on them is what makes the sex exciting.

I think crossdressers are intelligent people, but it often reflects on finding and using elaborate excuses sometimes reading posts on the forums feel like we actually enjoy to believe that
people are againts us (and I'm not saying some aren't like that) but in general people don't really care so much about a man in a dress or transgender/transsexual person.. as long as it's novelty
they will talk about it, but once it fades they don't really care so much

sorry for the tangent - basically what everybody said - talk to your wife, be honest, explain her why you lied and apologise for it. In the end for most people and for relationships, it's
what kind of person you are and not what you like to wear or do in bed , because the lying and shifty behaviour is actually problem, where dressing up is not. You are free to do whatever you like
as long as you don't harm others

[~Joanne~]

Well, I certainly mean no offense here, quite the opposite. I wrote that in response to what Gina shared about their marriage might end if the wife cannot accept the CDing in a later post, post #30, where it was shared that it may destroy the marriage. I was basing this off of Gina's own words. Of course, I may have misunderstood the context. Apologies, if so.

Cheers,

Kalista

No, my apologies, I remember reading that now and you are correct. She did say that so I can see where your post came from. As matter of fact, now that I re-read that I question where she is understanding came from? Sorry Kalista, my tangent wasn't meant to say you were incorrect or that your view was wrong or to single anyone out but was a general statement.

[Jennifer Marie P.]

I think she has the feeling something is not right.Come clean or tell her not to open your packages.

[Julie Gaum]

I believe the post was about the awful mistake the poster was making and the advice was universal not to wait for his wife to initiate the talk.
It was not about how much ($1400) a responder was paying for stockings as very few on this site could afford, or if they can, probably would not do so. Furthermore it would seem that less than half of the married members have wives that are so fully supportive although the balance
wish with all their hearts for such support. It is likely that said poster doesn't consider how many members are being hurt by this and previous
posts that flaunt good fortune.
Just my observation,
Julie

[Kalista Jameson]

No, my apologies, I remember reading that now and you are correct. She did say that so I can see where your post came from. As matter of fact, now that I re-read that I question where she is understanding came from? Sorry Kalista, my tangent wasn't meant to say you were incorrect or that your view was wrong or to single anyone out but was a general statement.

No worries.

[Ashley.marie]

hummm, on the one hand you appear to be worried that she might know, on the other hand you seem to have the attitude that if she can't except it then it's time to move on. So two questions:

1. What do you really want to have happen?
2. If you are "ready to move on" what's stopping you from telling her?

[Jessica86]

Might as well just tell her. I can testify that no woman in this world can watch packages come in for their husband and not open them. Women always go digging to find out more. It will never stop.

[StephanieT]

You are busted. Tell her.

[Julogden]

Probably time to 'fess up.

Carol

[Jenni Yumiko]

I say tell her. If she really does know and hasn't confronted you about it, I personally believe (don't flame me) that she isn't completely disgusted by the fact that you do so you may have an easier time with her.

[GinaM]

Might as well just tell her. I can testify that no woman in this world can watch packages come in for their husband and not open them. Women always go digging to find out more. It will never stop.

Keep in mind that I own my own business and sell a ton of product and I have most if it delivered directly to my house. She has no reason to open any of it.

[Sara Jessica]

While I'm NOT justifying your flat out lies, I DO agree with your, "dress in secret only", premise. For those of us that don't intend to "come on" and/or do not feel like women, telling our friends and love ones may yeild many more negative results than positive ones!

Sherry, there may very well be little, if any good that can come of you sharing this part of you with friends, family, etc. But there is a pretty big difference between drawing the line that you have versus drawing such a line with a current spouse.

I think the dishonest part is true but really, Haven't we all traveled down this road in the beginning out of fear? I think it's a bit harsh, and hypocritical, of us to act as if she is the only one to have done it or will be the only one to keep doing it.

I understand that there are a lot of girls here that told their SO before they progressed with their relationships but for most of us, we don't even begin to come to terms with all of these until we are well into the relationship if we even do it then. Many believe that the CDing will subside, if not disappear completely once in a relationship even though we know this isn't true.

And I cannot fathom what it must be like to be in such a situation. Disclosure is a personal decision that should be made with much forethought and even some research as to what has worked for others in the past. However, if it were up to a vote, this Congress has spoken and Gina would be disclosing immediately. Regardless of what those in these pages perceive as right or wrong on this subject, Gina will have to live with the ramifications of her past and current decisions.

Those that came clean right from the get go, Of those girls, how many were in their second, third, or fourth serious relationship at that point?

Ummmm, not me. I have had three long term relationships and all three, including my longest and most dearest (my wife) knew this of me fairly early on.

Keep in mind that I own my own business and sell a ton of product and I have most if it delivered directly to my house. She has no reason to open any of it.

Except for the box marked "Frederick's Of Hollywood", right?

What strikes me as the ultimate in hubris on your part is that you would be so bold as to order this stuff into your home. Most who are so deeply rooted in a closet as you appear to be go to great lengths to NOT get caught. Regardless of the ethics when it comes to lying or whether disclosure is the best policy, your actions were foolish if you had no desire to let this cat out of the bag. Now you are left to pick up the pieces...or is that what you desired in the first place (the old trying to get outed theory comes to mind)?

[flatlander_48]

You know, if you THINK you are busted, you are already. It's past tense. Any denial on your part only makes the holes deeper. You will confess at some point. The only questions are when and how difficult it will be to dig out.

[Robbin_Sinclair]

I'm living with the deception, which isn't easy for me. I have accepted that for now, especially since people under 18 are in the house.

This side of my life is just cannot be something I would share with my wife, now I don't lie. I just deceive. My wife, who has great anxiety at work and with her daughter, is just happy that I am doing something and helping when needed. I have a little studio a floor below us. She never goes there. It's too dirty. That's my life.

Your life is different. You lied. If you are going to lie, plan your lie. You did not. You ARE busted. You many want to come out "accidentally," as I often think that I want to do. And your wife may be accepting. Don't expect it after the lie. People on this site often have happy arrangements but I really don't think most of the non-CD world is like that.

Decide, is the marriage worth it? Maybe yes maybe no. But don't outright lie. And, most importantly, don't be pissed off. You are now inserting anger at your wife into this.

You can do as I do. Join community theater. You can be a prop person, lighting person or stage manager (aka stepinfetchit for the director). There are acting tons of roles that you can "practice" for in an audition, even if you are never on stage. In my perfect world we would do five plays a year that involve men dressing up as women. Usually, we have at least one each season.

Take deep breaths and don't be angry.