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Thread: Told my therapist about Kat yesterday

  1. #1
    Member katlee's Avatar
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    Told my therapist about Kat yesterday

    I had my monthly therapy and told my therapist who had seen for depression that I had discovered a new hobby in the form of cding. He didn't react and we talked and I mentioned that I was part of a great online community. I was nervous of sharing that side with my therapist, but it felt good.
    I think I feel more like Natalie than I do Kat. I think from this point I will go by Natalie.

    Part of a recently ended relationship where a reason why it ended was my crossdressing.

  2. #2
    member stacycoral's Avatar
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    Miss Kat, good for you girl, i hope you get better, depression is a place you don't want to be for sure, and your right it is a great online community, hugs girl
    [SIZE="3"][/SIZE][SIZE="3"]Stacy Lynn Coral[/SIZE]

  3. #3
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    Hi Kat, You will have no inner peace till you find your true self.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  4. #4
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    Hi Kat. I never told my therapist about this part of myself. We talked about everything else, but never this. I think that was a mistake on my part. I think you did the right thing. If therapy is to have any benefit, you have to be as honest as possible. I strongly encourage you to continue to talk about this, as you need to, with your therapist. It is safe, and they are bound by law to keep your secrets. Being able to talk about it openly will, if nothing else, likely help you understand your feelings better - that is the main thing to get out of it all. "What is this, what am I doing, what am I feeling, where is this going?" These are tough questions, and being able to talk about it will help you answer them and find whatever answers are right for you.

  5. #5
    It is amazing how when you say something out loud it feels like a weight off your shoulders.
    Good job, congrats

    Tab

  6. #6
    Member Kalista Jameson's Avatar
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    Good for you, Kat. Hope he checks us out here.

    Cheers,

    Kalista

    I'm a TGirl, yes it's true! I'm a TGirl, through and through.
    I love nylons and high heels, mini-skirts and shopping deals!
    I don't care what others say, life's too short, it's time to play.
    I'm a TGirl, yes it's true! I'm a TGirl, how 'bout you?

  7. #7
    Fashionista JeanneF's Avatar
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    Considering that the whole point of therapy is to work out your issues, it's crazy (no pun intended) to not tell your therapist about your gender issues. It's like taking your car to the mechanic because the engine isn't running right and failing to tell him that you ran the car without oil for 100 miles.

    I spent quite a bit of time in therapy about 5-6 years ago working things out, and it was amazing how much more well-balanced of a person I was afterwards.
    "There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. "

    - Anais Nin

  8. #8
    Member katlee's Avatar
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    Haha, not sure if he will swing by the site, but I try to gain multiple insights during our sessions. I was diagnosed with mild depression and a lot of that has to do with the fact that I give a lot. So CDing gives me a chance to be completely selfish. I described it as my evolved MMORPG.
    I think I feel more like Natalie than I do Kat. I think from this point I will go by Natalie.

    Part of a recently ended relationship where a reason why it ended was my crossdressing.

  9. #9
    New Member Elirra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tabitha Storm View Post
    It is amazing how when you say something out loud it feels like a weight off your shoulders.
    Good job, congrats

    Tab
    I agree with Tabitha, it was like screaming and vomiting and pissing your skirt at the same time. I could hear the words echo off of the walls as I told the guy I was a crossdresser. At the same time I could feel the weight coming off of my shoulders I could also hear how ridiculous that weight really was.

    His initial response was that he thought in these modern times it was a lot more acceptable in society. I have to say that the therapists follow up suggestions were gold in terms of helping me reach some conclusions.

    You did the right thing, I hope it helps you out.

    Cheers,

    Elirra

  10. #10
    Senior Member Robbin_Sinclair's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PaulaQ View Post
    ..... "What is this, what am I doing, what am I feeling, where is this going?" These are tough questions, and being able to talk about it will help you answer them and find whatever answers are right for you.
    Yeah, that's it for me. Small town, can't go to a therapist but I FINALLY told my regular family doc. He likes to move us patients in an out and he just did a smiling chuckle. What are my physical problems? Some time later, I persisted this a second time and when I got to tellin' him about needing a pill for anxiety. He started asking me questions. He perscribed something that had follow up earlier this week. It's a pill and small dosage but it helps keep it and everything else in perspective.

    I'm a strong believer in telling. Yes they have an oath that they must respect and I'm sure they've seen worse.

    The only other doc that I told was also recent, too. A leg guy. This time I couldn't wait to tell somebody. I told him I dressed in high heels. He started to move onto the next question, then he said, "you what?" He was very curious. When he opened the door with "does she have a name?" I knew I had his interest. I couldn't wait to tell him and Mr Assistant about Robbin...or her sister Rachel.

    We started looking at this fact with why I was there (leg pain...okay varicose veins in one leg). He prescribed, ladies, get this, a panty hose cure. Medicare approved in theory if not in reality. Wear compression hose 3 months and see what happens. Maybe Medicare will pay for my expensive procedure involving stripping veins. I don't really have compression hose but I have this great site with German pantyhose that holds up.

    I wish I could describe Doc and his assistant. Assistant was early 20 ish. Serious and Hispanic. From a down island place that has opinions, usually not favorable about anti-men. But he was cool respected his job even though he had to do the very lengthy work with a meter on my left leg. Probably a half hour. Doc reminded me of a thin Albert Schweitzer. Long hair, 60ish, grey. I'm sure I was or will be the subject of leg-doc serious inquiry. Perhaps a paper will be written about me and they will name a syndrome after me. Ah, idle wishing.

    I'm a science project, maybe. Never been one of those before. Love, Robbin or Rachel, not sure right now.
    Last edited by Robbin_Sinclair; 02-20-2013 at 12:59 PM. Reason: Made me a contraction. Just little old me and twenty years of higher education.

  11. #11
    Junior Member Ambrosia's Avatar
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    Good for you Kat! I have depression and after a few years of therapy I am on my own making it all work out. I am a giver as well. I love my new hobby, been at it now for a month. Sure beats stamp collecting :-)
    We do not need discipline to be kind, just an open heart.

  12. #12
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    I went to therapy specifically to talk about my CDing.

    I asked one of my therapists if I could come dressed. She basically said I'm here to help you, so if you want to come dressed feel free.

    I asked another one if she wanted to meet Steffi, since Steffi might have a diferent personality. She said she would love to. So I made a point of coming to each session as Steffi, but in different versions: casual in jeans, skirt and top, leather mini, etc. The first time Steffi came, I had my back to her when she opened the door. I turned around, and she looked puzzled, and then her jaw dropped when she recognized me.

    So, think about letting Kat go instead of you; but ask first.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Barbra P's Avatar
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    I mentioned to my Physician that I had some gender issues. She said that she couldn’t set aside enough time for that and asked if I would mind seeing the module’s Counselor. About a week later I spent a little over two-hours with the Counselor and at the end of the session she told me she would have my Doctor put through a consult request that I see a Therapist in the Psyche Department. Two weeks later when I arrived for my first session Kelly (my Therapist) not only knew about my CD’ing but also had the Counselor’s report. One of the first things she said was that if I was there looking for a cure I was wasting both hers and my time.

    I had a friend who was also seeing a Kaiser Therapist and had started HRT and she asked if I had attended any of my sessions en femme – I had not. At my next session asked Kelly about coming en femme and she said I could any time I felt like it, and she would love to meet Barbra. The following month I went casual en femme (wig, makeup, woman’s T-shirt, bra & forms, jeans, and some wedge shoes. Walking into a crowded medical center en femme was one of the scariest things I have ever done; sitting in a small waiting area with other people wasn’t any easier. When it was my turn Kelly opened the door, looked around the waiting area and announce “Barbra you can come in now.” I really enjoyed the next 55 minutes that I spent with Kelly, well maybe 50 minutes because she kind of threw me a curve at the end. She said I had mentioned that I liked wearing dresses or skirts and would I mind dressing a little less casual and wear a dress or skirt for the next session. I said I had worn what I wore so I would have a better chance of blending in. She said she was aware of why I wore what I wore but she would like me to wear a dress the next time Barbra came.

    I wore the dress on my next visit and since then I’ve worn a black skirt and fancy blouse, jeans, Capri’s, and a skort. I have to admit that to this day I am still a bit apprehensive about walking into that medical center and through the large lobby to the elevators at the other side of the lobby. I do look forward to my sessions regardless of how I am dressed.

    Kelly surprised me last fall when she told me that I could start HRT if I wished and she had gotten permission to wave the RLE (Real Life Experience) prior to starting HRT. This was, of course, dependant on my Physician saying that there weren’t any serious physical problems that would present and I would have to pick an endocrinologist to monitor the HRT. Alas, my Wife was completely against it even though the HRT would probably be a lot more effective treating my BPH than the several drugs that I currently take. My Therapist also thought that HRT would help reduce some of the anxiety and depression that she has diagnosed.

    Bottom line: you should feel completely comfortable discussing anything, and that includes your cross dressing, with you Therapist, and if you don’t, or you get vibes that they aren’t comfortable discussing your cross dressing, it’s time to find a new Therapist.
    Babs

  14. #14
    Member katlee's Avatar
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    As much as I enjoy dressing up in Kat-mode, posing in-front of the mirror. I don't really have an interest in going to talk to my therapist in Kat-mode. I am selfish and I feel that time is for my male side to discuss stuff going on at work, family, and stuff going on with my GF. Kat is just one component of my life, not a lifestyle .
    I think I feel more like Natalie than I do Kat. I think from this point I will go by Natalie.

    Part of a recently ended relationship where a reason why it ended was my crossdressing.

  15. #15
    Member Kalista Jameson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by katlee View Post
    I described it as my evolved MMORPG.
    Haha, I thought you had a vaguely blood elf mage-like appearance.

    For the Horde!

    Kalista,

    Level 90 female blood elf rogue

    I'm a TGirl, yes it's true! I'm a TGirl, through and through.
    I love nylons and high heels, mini-skirts and shopping deals!
    I don't care what others say, life's too short, it's time to play.
    I'm a TGirl, yes it's true! I'm a TGirl, how 'bout you?

  16. #16
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    I think your therapy may be more effective now that you feel confident enough in your therapist to share this part of you. I go to a group that has many therapists skilled in LGBT issues and I have seen several (usually when the one I've been seeing becomes a mom...) and they all are very good. There still is this adjustment period before I get into the nitty gritty. An unexpected benefit of this change is that each time i bring a new one up to speed I learn new things along the way.
    I have gone dressed at times to each of them and they are really indifferent to either way. They all have said i'm the same regardless of how I'm dressed. Therapy is an evolving process and who know sometime you may just decide to go dressed and if you wish to they should be fine with it.

  17. #17
    Woman and loving it Jennifer Marie P.'s Avatar
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    Kat thats great youre on your way.
    Pinkessence Transliving Urnotalone

  18. #18
    Senior Member Robbin_Sinclair's Avatar
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    So many thoughts. My head is swimming. This thread has come a long way from being afraid to tell your doctor.

    So many people are so good at helping people emotionally. That's the cool thing about our society.

    Trust your shrink until proven otherwise.




    IT'S WRITTEN IN THE SAND THERE SOMEWHERE

  19. #19
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I agree thattelling your therapist was a good thing, but as you have said his time is for your work family issues etc.
    The depression issues.
    Breathe in, smile and I hope you are soon out of the mist.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

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