UGH! I want to be a girl so bad!

[arbon]

The question is why do you want to be a girl? Is it is just about the cloths, makeup, the shoes.... is it fantasy? or is it something deeper?

The reality of living as a woman is probably not what you think, and getting there can be a brutal gut-wrenching journey. But also rewarding beyond measure if it is who you are. The freedom to be yourself, the woman you are, to not be suffocating your soul trying to be the man you are not - if you are transsexual - is priceless. I don't have to pretend to be something I hated - thats why I did it. To be me, and I take the bad with the good.

[PaulaQ]

The question is why do you want to be a girl? Is it is just about the cloths, makeup, the shoes.... is it fantasy? or is it something deeper?

For me there is some of that - the clothes, the shoes, makeup - the fanstasy. Sure.

I'll be honest about something here that I've never really said outloud. There is a feminine part of my personality, and it has always felt like it was stuck in the wrong body.

Last week, after putting on a wig and breastforms, when I looked in the mirror, i realized that I was seeing myself (or at least a fragment of myself) for the first time in my life. I didn't feel like I was looking at myself in the mirror in a costume. It was quite the opposite, in fact.

[Persephone]

but we can never truly know the limitations and brutal conforming tactics that the World of Man punishes women with every single day since being born, and dressed in pink flowery onesies by mama.

Oh bulltacos, Nikki! You've been reading too much twisted literature written by .01% of the female population or spending too much time in college classrooms with professors who are stuck in the 1960's.

Persephone.

[Sharon B.]

I would have to agree with you, yes I would want to be a girl if I was younger. If this INTERNET was around back in the seventies and eighties, I would have probably went to someone and spilled my guts to them.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

I'm hjappy being both. They both have their ups and downs, but the uniqueness of the two combined makes it all worhtwhile. The best of both world

[Fran Moore]

It got a bit "foggy" here last night too. Hang in there sister!

[Ezekiel]

I agree with this statement. I realized a while ago that its really more about the clothes and the look that actually wanting to physically be a girl. It's just that being a girl would make all that a lot easier! And socially acceptable. Sometimes I think if I was a girl, it wouldn't be as much fun!

Exactly, I used to be very confused when I was younger (about 13-14). I was gay? I was transsexual? transgender? gender fluid? there were so many labels it was all confusion. In the end I realized that I was none of that but just a guy who desired to attain the same look / same body features usually females have. Am I androgynous? I would fit here but I don't even consider myself that, I just want to mimic the image of the female in every detail except gender. Is it vain? No its not, because its what truly fits with my personality inside, as I'm not always wearing make up or the perfect dress.

I can understand TS / TG people though, for them its something more spiritual perhaps? But that doesn't define me so I'm no longer confused. In the end, like under my name in the posts, I'm another type of man.

[Jenniferathome]

What would your wife say to that?

[Shelby]

Well your neighbor boy is not the only one with a little crush. My brother served in Iraq twice and they do make a bladder device for women who he served with that allowed them to pee like a man when out on the road - so there you go!

[Jorja]

If you want to be a girl May(be) there is a way to do it, you know. We have the technology. We can rebuild her!

[Angela Campbell]

I have always wanted to be a girl too. I can settle for looking like one though.

And peeing standing up is ok.....until you get yelled at for leaving the seat up. I have sat down to do that for years being surrounded by a wife and 2 daughters.....

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi May, Once I pull that closet door open my whole outlook changes.

[KatieGG]

Shelby - Well your neighbor boy is not the only one with a little crush.

lol are you trying to tell me something Shelby??

[kristinacd55]

I enjoy being both....the best of both worlds for sure!

[Calisol01]

I dream of being a girl everyday

[Mollyanne]

ME TOO, I CAN IDENTIFY WITH THAT!!!!!!

Molly

[sometimes_miss]

Okay.

Then KatieGG wrote:

It's not all it's cracked up to be

It is if you hate being a male and can't think of anything else 24/7 except that you're in the wrong body. Carol

It really depends on what the driving force is that is making you feel that way. I went through those feelings as a teenager, and with no one to help me, was absolutely sure that I was TS (my life as a guy was a total bust, I was lonely, isolated, saw no good things about my future life as a man, and was subject to the 'grass is greener' syndrome as I saw so many problems I had as being quickly remedied had I been able to quickly become a pretty girl, of course not realizing at the time the whole new set of problems that I would face). Fortunately today, there are far more gender therapists out there to help us figure it all out.

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Get a terapist start hormones and youre on your way.

[Ezekiel]

I wonder where May is. Started the thread and left us all commenting the subject and not knowing the reason of that decision.

[becky77]

I think May is just busy.

[becky77]

I wonder where May is. Started the thread and left us all commenting the subject and not knowing the reason of that decision.

I would hazard a guess that it was a frustrated rant, more than desperate plea

[May(be)]

Oh geez, this thread got out of control... I'm really sorry everyone. I was monitoring this thread for a while, but chose not to respond because I said in my original post "comment, or don't... I don't care", and I was merely stating a fact. I can't BELIEVE how quickly this thread grew. Let me explain...

I was passing PMs that night with a couple hotties on this site, and fter a few beers I got frustrated (jealous) seeing so many beautiful girls here and elsewhere around the net. I just thought I'd release some pressure and posted that without too much thought and then went to sleep. I honestly thought this thread would be dead by morning. Then it got nuts and I felt like I couldn't respond because I clearly said "comment, or don't... I don't care". I was being casual with that, but I can understand why most people would read it as ambivalence toward life. It wasn't. It was a causal statement of fact. I'm not having any sort of crisis. I went through all of that a few months ago. I'm in a comfortable place and know what I want, I just have to wait to get it. I was merely being impatient that night.

It's like this- the destination is set, but the train is still in the station and I'm not sure when it will embark. I want it to pull out of the station and I was just anxious at that moment to go. I've settled back into my seat lately. I'm far too busy to entertain either thinking about transitioning in any immediate time frame, and definitely too busy for more beer.

I feel really guilty and would like to apologize for wasting everyone's time and energy. I can't believe how 2 short sentences can start such a long discussion. You are all very caring and wonderful people to be so concerned for my mental well-being. I apologize for making everyone worry and then dropping off the face of the earth. School and work have been crazy this week, so my time on the forum is minimal. Again, I didn't mean to cause so much strife to all of you. Words are powerful. I shouldn't have said what I said and then left.

But don't worry, I'm not going through an acute crisis at the moment. People here care far too much about each other to use words so irresponsibly. I'm sorry everyone.

[christym]

May,

Just look at yourself!

You are a girl, dear!

LOL/Cheers,

Christy

[AmyGaleRT]

May, no need to fret. You're a fine young lady!

There've been times when I've said to myself, "I want to be Amy so bad..." but had to follow it with "...but I'm hurting too much right now to muster the energy for the transformation." This is kind of one of those times. Fortunately, in about a week, I'm having a procedure done which should help me heal up. Once I do, it'll be a lot easier for me to make the shift more often.

- Amy

[PaulaQ]

If the discussion went on for this long, I'd venture that it probably needed to have been had, or at least provided entertainment value!
In any case, I can't speak for anyone else - but nobody made me read it or post in it.

I think you are fine. Hey, if you can't vent your feelings a little here, where can you possibly vent them?