What is the issue with a man in a skirt or kilt?

[Sandi Beach]

Stay with me on this one, because I know in Scotland a Kilt is considered masculine, and not like a skirt in the US.

Here is where my head went the other day. I dress because I like the way woman's clothes feel. Not because I want to be a woman, or feel that I'm a woman trapped in a man's body. It is simply because I think certain female clothes feel great. As been discussed here many times, our society has some issues with a man in woman's clothes. We know that's wrong, and many here don't care, and wear those clothes anyway. More power to you. As also been mentioned here many times, a woman is free to wear any type of clothing, male or female, and never be questioned once. A man will be questioned, or laughed at a lot. It is just a piece of fabric cut differently, so why should it matter what sex wears it? If I wore a woman's pants, because I like that it zips on the side, or it fits me better than a mans cut, some people will still mock. If a woman can wear any article of clothing, male or female, and not be questioned, why can't a man?

So, it got me wondering why I NEVER see a man wearing a kilt in the USA, unless it is a parade or St Patty's day, or an event like that? Never just walking down the street, in Chicago, in the middle of July. Are we in the USA so against a "man in a skirt", that even kilts are not worn here? I see clothes from other cultures being worn ALL THE TIME. I see Sarongs, Sarees, Serapes, tunics, Turbans, or even MuuMuu's (yes US but not usually mainland). Why are all these clothes unique to other cultures seen worn all the time, but never a kilt?

Am I just in the wrong place all the time? Or, are we so against a "man in a skirt" that people won't even wear a kilt? Does anyone know a person who has lived in Scotland, wore a kilt there all the time, and feels comfortable wearing a kilt in the US?

[Sandra1746]

Sandi, that is about the only reason I can offer as to why a "kilt" or a skirt is frowned upon in the good old USA; the "Land of Freedom". As long as no "private body parts" are hanging out in plain view there "should" be no problem but a guy in a skirt is rarer than a 4-leaf clover. The GGs can wear pretty much anything but society frowns on guys in skirts or dresses.

Of course some places are OK with it, larger cities and certain areas but if you do adopt that mode of attire be prepared for stares, snickers and some comments. Mostly ignoring them ought to work but there are always exceptions.

I'll wear a skirt around my yard but mostly after dark. This summer I am thinking of extending my range a bit but we'll have to see about that. Fem jeans and tops are about all I wear so it would be a change.

Good luck,
Sandra1746

[GaleWarning]

I have worn a kilt, but only when doing Scottish Country Dancing.
And yes, I did wear undies!

When I was younger, I seriously considered buying a kilt in my own family tartan, but it proved to be very expensive, as my clan is a minor one, a sept of a larger clan, and they would have had to specially set up the loom to manufacture it.

[AllieSF]

I think that the main reason is that most, and I mean the vast majority of, men don't want to wear a skirt or kilt or whatever. The reasons vary for the rest that do want to wear them but don't. Since it is so far outside the norm for a male to wear one or more items of women's clothing, I think that most are probably just afraid of what others think. When you look at other clothing fads or styles, normally started by the younger generation, like goth, grunge, skinny jeans on males (originally started by women), there were enough participants that wanted to be different than their age counterparts that they could dress that way, maybe get looks and occasional comments, but they did not and do not care because they see others like themselves wearing the same styles. However, when it comes to skirts or clearly obvious women's or young female clothes styles, there is not that critical minimum mass of people, males in this case, that are willing to just wear the clothes, put up with the looks and comments and then go about their normal day to day business of living their lives as they wish, which also means wearing what they want when they want.

I always say that for us overall as MtF CD's to get a more general toleration and hopefully acceptance we really need to just get out there with our own individual courage and wear what we want and ignore everyone else and most importantly not let others dictate what we should wear. I personally do not care what one wears from classy or blending in styles to something outrageous, because what one wears is their decision not mine and the hell what the fashion police here and elsewhere say about what we "should" wear to maintain the image that some want all of us to project. The more that are out there doing just that, wearing what they want, will in the long term and big picture help all of us, especially us that try to blend in, to get to where we want society to be, tolerating and accepting of our style of dressing. The closer we get to that critical mass the more the general public will get used to seeing us dressed that way.

[Beverley Sims]

There are not that many Scots in the US and those that are probably prefer to wear the native costume. It is about blending in and they are prone to not needing to make a statement. Other cultures are more recognizable because it is in their culture and religion to wear scarves and robes of office in the case if male sikhs a turban.
In Scotland some do like to make a statement and wear a kilt but most would do it from a traditional point of view.
The kilt is a badge of individual clans and is worn with pride.
It is worn at ceremonies all over the world
There are enough Scots on the forum who could explain it better than I.
I personally think it is in poor taste to try and call the kilt a skirt and associate it with what we discuss here.

[sandra-leigh]

Real kilts are big and heavy!

Besides, my clan is so obscure that all of the online stores get it wrong. We had to personally look in a copy of the official registry to find the right one. (Why was it that my ancestors managed to choose the loosing side in three separate major royal wars? Apparently we are even more stubborn than the average Scot )

Did I also mention that my proper clan tartan is not flattering?

[biggirlsarah]

I have a kilt in my family tartan that being the Kingdom of Fyfe , it is the full 9 yard's and quite heavy and I don't have any problems at all wearing it ,one time when my wife and I went to a restaurant whilst I was wearing it I got quite a few nice looks from the ladies, and no I didn't feel like a man in a skirt, because it is completely different , I have also worn it just to go shopping we went into town and I got quite a few nice comments , and anyway it means you can legally carry a knife in a public place.

[Sandi Beach]

I personally think it is in poor taste to try and call the kilt a skirt and associate it with what we discuss here.

I'm not trying to say that wearing a kilt is wearing a skirt, or trying to link it to CD. The only link I'm trying to make is wondering if kilts are not worn here, because to many of us idiot Americans would say "hey that dude is wearing a dress".

I'm not up on Scottish norms, and have never been there. I thought kilts might be worn there all the time for comfort, so why wouldn't a Scottish man do that here? But, if they are worn there only on special occasions, and only a few times a year, then I could see why they wouldn't be worn here.

The main point I was trying to make is that we seem tolerant of others cultures clothes, regardless of the reason they are worn (religion for example). But, we don't seem tolerant of a man wearing a kilt in the USA. I see americans making fun of Scottish people wearing kilts for any reason, let alone wearing one in the US. i'm saying that If we are not tolerant of a kilt, how would we ever be tolerant of a skirt? I'm not trying to link the two.

On hot days, I wear shorts to expose my legs as much as I can. But, I'm not allowed to wear shorts to the office on hot humid days. I am envious of a woman able to wear a skirt to the office on those days. I so wish i could do that, and not be mocked, or thrown out by HR. I wish society would see that as normal, and making sense.

[PrincessLuLu]

I saw a dad in a khaki skirt/kilt thing at the mall a few weeks ago. The only thing that bothered me was that the skirt looked terribly heavy and the material looked very thick, almost like canvas... very uncomfortable looking. :/ I've seen a few other guys in kilts, but it's not common here by any means.

My honest opinion is that a lot of men are all about being easy, quick, and are most comfortable in pants. Much in the same way a tomboy couldn't be bothered to pick out an appropriate dress or feel comfortable in one. My husband can spend hours dolling himself up as a girl, but when he's in guy mode, he puts a total of 3 seconds thought into his clothes. I think a lot of men don't even consider anything other than what they're used to because there's no need. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

[kimdl93]

As Allie said, most men prefer conventional male attire. On rare occassions, a fashion designer will attempt to reintroduce skirts for men, but its never caught on.

Even as a dedicated, committed and quite open CDr, I seldom wear a skirt. I love dresses and skirts, but I just don't find them practical for everyday activity. I try to blend in as best I can with other women at the mall or grocery. Its rare to see a woman in a skirt under those circumstances. I wear what they wear - slacks or jeans and casual tops. For me - most of the time - that is dressing like a woman.

[sandra-leigh]

One of my great-cousins wears a kilt often, but that probably has something to do with her being part of a bagpipe band

My husband can spend hours dolling himself up as a girl, but when he's in guy mode, he puts a total of 3 seconds thought into his clothes.

Sniffing the armpits of a shirt does not count as "thought"!

Even as a dedicated, committed and quite open CDr, I seldom wear a skirt. I love dresses and skirts, but I just don't find them practical for everyday activity. I try to blend in as best I can with other women at the mall or grocery. Its rare to see a woman in a skirt under those circumstances. I wear what they wear - slacks or jeans and casual tops.

Where I am, dresses are not the majority, but standard dresses are common enough to be "So what?". Flashy or elegant dresses are not common in malls, though, except for some of the saleswomen. Skirts for office professionals are common (so you see a fair number of them downtown during working hours), but skirts as everyday clothes are, I think, a bit less common than dresses here. The Mennonites and Hutterites and Amish around here wear dresses frequently (or exclusively) but not skirts. None-the-less, skirts are not rare in grocery stores and malls. If you see a woman by herself (or with children) you might take mental note of the fact that she is wearing a skirt ("Ah, a skirt!"), but in any collection of people such as a mall or grocery store here, chances are you will see several women with skirts and barely take note of them. To invent a statistic, suppose one in ten women here wore skirts, then that is uncommon enough that you might notice the 10th when they are relatively isolated, but it is also common enough that (estimating) one in three times one of the (several) women ahead of you in line at the grocery store will be wearing one.

I wear skirts out more often than I wear dresses out; people notice my (nice) jacket but my skirt doesn't get past most people's "Something Unusual Is Here" mental filters. Not that they don't see it, just that it is not important enough to break into the thought process any more strongly than "place the right foot two inches further over to dodge this piece of ice" registers over the long term. Still, when I am wearing a skirt I do not feel comfortable going into the men's public washrooms in downtown malls -- the concentration of risk is higher there.

[Wildaboutheels]

IF "enough" WOMEN enjoyed seeing a man in a skirt or kilt, it would quickly become commonplace for those men who thought it could help their own "cause" any.

I wouldn't hold my breath for that.

Men and women should both wear whatever they like, enjoy or feel comfortable in IMO. The FACT is that they can and there are no laws to prevent such in most places.

"We have met the enemy and they is us".

[Sandi Beach]

My honest opinion is that a lot of men are all about being easy, quick, and are most comfortable in pants. Much in the same way a tomboy couldn't be bothered to pick out an appropriate dress or feel comfortable in one.

Maybe I'm just weird. When it is 100 and humid, I don't want to wear pants. I'm in male mode 99% of the time, and even in male mode, I want comfort. Since a dress (skirt, sundress, any dress) of any type is okay for a woman to wear to the office on a hot day, I envy them. I could slip on a sundress much faster than pants and a shirt, and be comfortable.

The issue is I'm talking about full male mode, just wearing a comfortable sundress. No breast forms, or wig, or makeup. I'm talking the same preparation I would use to put on pants, but I throw the dress on instead for comfort. That is not acceptable in our society, but I wish it was.

I haven't told my story yet, but I will for sure next week. My dressing is mostly just wearing the clothes because I find them so comfortable. Once I have the clothes on, I sometimes wonder what it is like to go even farther. I posted questions about a corset on another thread, because I would like to see how that feels too. I may hate it, and wear it only once. I won't know till I try it on. In 20 years of trying on woman's clothes, I've only tried to "complete the look" with a wig and makeup 3 times. I didn't even own a wig until last year. Most of my "dressing" is just wearing nylons, as my wife's clothes are way too big for me. This is also the first year I've ever bought my own clothes, after 19 years. I own a single skirt, and 3 blouses I got at Goodwill. Everything female I own can fit in a single briefcase. If I find a blouse I like better than one of the 3, one gets pitched to make room for it in the case. Unlike many here, I don't want to be a woman. I'm very happy being a guy, but I like the feel of woman's clothes. That leads me to other questions, and experiments sometimes, so I'm glad I found this site. It is a great place to get questions answered by people that probably understand me.

[Laura912]

It does seen that in the OP, comparing the two types of apparel is oranges and tangerines in nature. One type of wear is traditional to males in another country. The other type is exclusive to females in many countries. Kilts are not routine wear in the US even among those of Scottish descent unless at special occasions. At least both male and female UPS, FedEx, and USPS people get to wear shorts in the summer.

[Stephanie47]

I think immigrant populations have pretty much adopted the customary attire of this country, whatever that may mean in comfort and style over the decades. Unless you're a total recluse you you've missed the ceremonial displays during ethnic festivities. I've been to various events and have seen young and old adorned in the attire of their country.

I guess someone should open a thread showing what a cross dresser would wear to their ethnic festival. I don't think any Scot cross dresser would consider a kilt feminine attire. From the 'Google' images I see, he would present in a skirt or dress of the clan.

[Sandi Beach]

It does seen that in the OP, comparing the two types of apparel is oranges and tangerines in nature. One type of wear is traditional to males in another country.

It was probably bad to compare the two in the same post. But, this is kind of my point.

I know that a kilt is traditional male wear, and shouldn't be compared to a skirt that is traditional female. The point I was trying to make is that a kilt (that is traditional male wear) is almost never seen being worn by males in this country. And, if males feel intimidated to not wear traditional male wear that shows legs, how could they ever not feel intimidated wearing female wear like a skirt? My mind works weird ways.

I wish all clothes were just clothes. Not female clothes, or male clothes, just clothes. I wish we could all wear anything, and not be judged. That a man can wear clothes in a professional work environment that shows his legs, and be accepted. Whether what shows his legs is a heavy traditional kilt, a sundress, a formal dress, a pencil skirt, I don't care.

I think the original mentioning of a kilt is screwing up my whole point. I was just wondering if we didn't see them being worn, because some people associated them with skirts, I wasn't trying to say they were like skirts. Then, if they weren't being worn because of that association, we would never get to a guy being able to wear a skirt. But, it sounds like they are not being worn (even much in Scotland) because they are big, heavy, and uncomfortable. My mistake. I'm sorry.

[Sandi Beach]

I guess I should just go back to reading, and not posting..............

[Genny B]

One of my other hobbies is bagpiping, so I wear a kilt in public very often. My son's enjoy wearing theirs often too altough I do not know if for the same reason as myself. What I did want to share, and mind you I'm on the plus side, when in the taverns wearing a kilt I almost always get asked about what's under the kilt at least once by a woman. So, the wearing of the kilt in public is very well accepting in places I frequest, which usually are Celtic in nature...

[Marlana]

One thing that has been ingrained into society is that men do not wear women's clothes. It shows weakness in your character. Why do you want people to laugh at you? When you see a male in female clothing, it's like you're expected to jab them with a drogatory comment because obviously, they must be weak and won't say anything back. Perhaps you could even make them cry to embarass them more. I don't feel this way at all. I have a gay sister and it was very difficult for her to come out to the family. My parents don't really accept it, but they love her and want her to be happy so they tolerate it. I crossdress and the only people that know are my wife and therapist. I don't have the confidence to go out dressed right now. So that's why I think you don't see men wearing female clothes in public. Hopefully this will change soon.

[Stacy Sissy CD]

I always say that for us overall as MtF CD's to get a more general toleration and hopefully acceptance we really need to just get out there with our own individual courage and wear what we want and ignore everyone else....

I am in total agreement with AllieSF. If we, MtF CD's went out en-mass, then I would hope that Society will evolve to accept us. I would hope in the future, this will happen! I am a girly CD who would wear girly skirts and dresses everyday, whatever the activity.

[stacycoral]

Ok, i think the first reason is that kilt's or skirts, do not show that men are from the western part of the world, men have to stay in the cookie cutter, or your not a man in the us of a, i personally still think it about as much as looking at men's shorts these days, you might as wear long pants, TOO MANY MEN ARE WORRIED ABOUT SOMEONE CALLING THEM CHICKEN LEGS, i heard someone the other day said that his grandfather told him that shorts for sissy, so how could anyone every come to wearing kilt or skirt, because it not the way we do it here, maybe or overseas, but a red america male, no sir, I happy that we have event that there is a scotts band comes and perform and they are all happy to wear there kilts, and after they preform, you seen them out dancing and having a great time wearing them and noone giving them any trouble for wearing them, so for some of us that don't fit in that cookie cutter, that love there freedom of being themself, I would not ever say they could not wear them, if they felt good about weraing them, last summer, i seen a man working in WalMart and wearing a kilt or skirt i did not know for sure only seen him once, did hear some oler women laughing about it outside anyway i think that what they were laughing about, Ok i am now off my soap box, we have to be ourselves and that that, hugs girls.

[Jamie001]

One thing that has been ingrained into society is that men do not wear women's clothes. I crossdress and the only people that know are my wife and therapist. I don't have the confidence to go out dressed right now. So that's why I think you don't see men wearing female clothes in public. Hopefully this will change soon.

It will only change soon if you get out there an be proud of who you are and start wearing female clothing in public. I would not recommend wearing female clothing to work, but when you are not at work you can wear female clothing proudly in public. You can start by letting your friends know that you have a feminine side that you are proud of and need to project. That is the only way to effect change.

[Gretchen_To_Be]

I was at a trade show in Orange County last week and two guys were wearing kilts/skirts--but not the traditional Scottish tartan kind--these were the extremely rough and durable tan canvas kind with lots of cargo pockets. I think they make them look especially rugged so as not to look at all feminine. And the guys were definitely NOT CDs; they were athletic surfer/skateboarder/rasta types, one with dreads and the other with ratty blond long hair. Both had tons of facial and leg hair. All in all, they looked very, very earthy, granola, and comfy. Nobody paid much attention to them, as they were clearly on the male side of the gender line. I admired their chutzpah but couldn't help thinking how much better their legs would look shaved, or maybe with hose!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sandi, If men started wearing skirts then I would probably stop wearing them.

There's no reason to stop posting , It's a free country!!

[Asche]

It does seen that in the OP, comparing the two types of apparel is oranges and tangerines in nature. One type of wear is traditional to males in another country.

I think the OP's point was that, in the USA, neither is seen as "masculine" enough to escape male heckling.

I have a few kilts, and I've had men who IMHO should have known better say, "what's with the skirt" in a derisive tone when I wear one.

It's not ignorance, it's male dominance behavior. Men who are into dominating people will use any excuse to put other men down or at least put them on the defensive, and that's what I think these "what's with the skirt?" men were doing to me. It didn't actually make me feel defensive, but it's still no fun to be around and it did succeed in making me less eager to hang around places where they hung out.

That sort of behavior is pretty widespread, especially in mostly- or all-male settings, so I can understand why most guys would just as soon restrict themselves to the most heckle-proof fashions and avoid the hassle.