First of all, Cub, welcome to the forums. Glad you came here looking for advice.
Now, the first thing you ought to do is quit the drinking. All that drinking is no good for you, and will ultimately cause you more problems than it solves. Besides, why spend all that money on booze when you could be spending it on clothes?
(Me, I
can't drink. I have gout, and even
one drink will leave my feet in as much pain the next day as if I'd tried to run a marathon in my heels!
)
After that, spend more time working on your femme presentation; your dress style, makeup, hair, etc. If you like, you can even post pictures over in the Picture & Video Gallery and get lots of both compliments and suggestions for improvement. While you do, pay attention to how it makes you feel. When you're feeling confident in your appearance, going out won't feel like so much of an issue. That's kind of how it was for me; I had finished doing some photos one night with full makeup and presentation, and there was a bag full of trash that needed to be taken out to the dumpster, so I did! I still remember the clicking noise my boot heels made on the asphalt, the cool night breeze against my legs and under my skirt, the moon overhead softly lighting my way. And the sky didn't fall in. Later, I got to a point where I could go through a drive-through and even into a supermarket. Nothing bad has happened.
But yeah, you gotta do it
in that order. Give up the booze first,
then work towards going out. I hope you make it.
- Amy