Coworkers who don't know, joking about you CDing

[stephNE]

Yes, me too! I have had a female co-worker use feminine hand cream and then ask me if I wanted some. The thing is there were two other guys who worked in that office at the time but she didn't offer it to them. Did she think I was more inclined to want to use it than them?

One time I was heading to a meeting and rubbing my hands because they were dry. She pulled out her hand cream and and handed it to me. Without thinking I put some on and then remembered how fragrant it was. I said oh no, this might be embarassing in the meeting, and she said no one will know, don't worry about it. About that time another young lady walked over, sniffed the air and said "My someone smells pretty". Then we all laughed.

I don't think I have feminine mannerisms, but on the other hand I don't lumber around like a neanderthal either. When I am dressed in femme, I do practice being more ladylike. So maybe these little things like sitting, hand movements, etc, transfer back into male mode and women pick up on them.

[BLUE ORCHID]

I've had our department VP warn me not to wear heels to work in a kidding manor but I thing he was serious..... not that I care who does or doesn't know....

Hi Karen, Does that mean no more Hi Heel mining boots ??

[SandraInHose]

Back in the late 70's I worked in a grocery store after school. Been working there about a year and a few times I'd stolen a pair of NoNonsense pantyhose from the display after we closed. Very careful...no one around...before video cameras were prevalent.

Anyway, one day one of the other stockboys brought out a cart of health and beauty items (hosiery, makeup, etc, which the cashiers would stock instead of us stockboys) and said, "Take this up front, and don't take no sh*t." I felt the blood start to drain from my face thinking my pantyhose thievery had been discovered, but after a few seconds I realized he meant don't take any sh*t from the cashiers, and make them stock the shelves instead of me doing it for them.

[Darla]

Yeah - I pretty much work in an all female office, and one of our more fashion conscious ladies made some eye rolling remark about wearing Spanx. Then looked at me and said "oh - not that'd you know anything about it!"

Okay - I was wearing the high waisted footless pantyhose at the time. I knew she didn't know, and it made me chuckle inside. At least as much as one can chuckle with those things on.

[ReineD]

It sounds as if they know. And they likely at this point see it as just a harmless kink, as in, "He likes girlie things, wink, wink, elbow nudge". A lot of women are OK with CDing behavior, as long as it isn't their partner.

Do they know that you get mani-pedis? Do you show an interest in makeup and fashion at work? Are your fingernails on the longer side and are your eyebrows well trimmed? Do you trim your arm hair? Have you ever worn just a trace of makeup to work, or an item of clothing from the women's department that you felt was androgynous-looking enough to not be detected?

It sounds as if you would like them to know. You might consider telling them if you feel that the telling will not bring about negative consequences, and if they can be relied upon to keep it to themselves.

[punkypunk]

Girls that are into it are LOADS of fun, remember you're possibly kind of a rarity/anomaly to them, rapidly becoming more socially acceptable and something, I've found at least, that lots of girls are very curious about. I mean, if girls are curious about other girls, why not one with the bits they like? Now that I think of it, men have been obsessed with t-girl's forever, in a free and equitable world why shouldn't girls get in on it?
Long story shirt, why not be playful back? Worst can happen is an awkward moment, best is a whole new wardrobe to model and an expert makeup session/lesson!

[goofus]

A lot of women are OK with CDing behavior, as long as it isn't their partner.

ain't it the truth

[Chickhe]

Its regular banter. Try responding with a positive answer and you will see the person asking cringe go in to shock...then you say, just joking and you will see the relief on their face. These comments by woman are just a way for them to feel some power over members of their opposite sex. We read too much in to it.

[Stephanie47]

It may be more than intuition. Going back to your introductory post you must be 45 now. That's seems a little older than I would expect casual banter in the cross dressing realm. I did read that you have had pedicures and polish applied at salons. Your cover may have been blown by one of the other patrons running into one of your coworkers. Or something similar.

I would figure from all that that their intuition is telling them something about you Hon.

[Dora]

Some of my co workers will tease me about setting up a lingerer type store so they probably got a hint

[LynnR]

One, when re-doing her lip gloss, asked me if I'd like it also, then said she was only joking.

I know she might have been fishing, but I'd find this request so exciting... and so tempting to say 'yes'. Of course, my secret would also be all over the office in minutes.

[Sabrina133]

Its happened to me at work as well. As i told in my intro post, the partners know I dress and have nothing against it as long as i dont dress as a female at work and i don't try to hide it as my brows are shaped and trimmed, i have two piercings in each ear, my nails, although short are buffed to a high gloss and my hair is to my collar. A few weeks after i started working here, one of my colleagues, a female attorney, asked me if i dressed? I told her the truth. Her answer -- "Cool, a couple of us thought so. would you like to join us for a drink after work on Friday?"

AM not saying that is the reaction that you will get all the time but when a woman asks, its probably to your advantage (and fun) to tell the truth. You might be surprised at the acceptance you get.

[mikiSJ]

It's a BIG misconception that women don't like to fish. When more than one woman is fishing, someone knows something regardless of how "careful" you may or may not consider yourself to be.

Seems the girls have found a favorite fishing spot. Stop bringing the bait and join them.

[Sharon B.]

Might have had traces of makeup left on and they put two and two together?

[ossian]

Work places can be such a high school sometimes.

Where I worked a number of years ago there was this guy everybody suspected of being gay. This company was mostly dominated by men. Let's call this guy in question, Jim. It's not his real name.

Guys in this office would talk about sports, golf, who was on fantasy there fill in the blank sports team. And then there was Jim. Jim was kind of insecure, didn't know about sports, lived with his parents who had a gambling problem. Jim had a slight build, bad teeth and overstated his abilities with reckless abandon.

So Jim was a target in this high school, a I mean, work place. He didn't fit in. I remember even hearing the secretaries even wondering about this guy? They even set him up on several dates with GGs. We would hear back eventually that they would date a few times and then the relationship would stop.

One time, my work mates and I were out mountain biking and Jim was invited because he did/does have the redeeming quality of being funny, and you never knew when he was going to overstate his abilities. At the end of a long afternoon of jumping small cliffs, dodging rocks on this single track course, one of the guys turns to him and says, "Jim, you shave your legs.". Jim froze, blushed and said he shaved his legs to reduce air drag for his road biking. We all knew this was B*** S***.

A few months later, Jim came out at work and said he was gay. I remember feeling both elated for him and simultaneously ashamed. I had this CDing side that was closeted so tightly that not even photons could penetrate the layers of secrecy protecting my secret.

After he came out, it was like a transformation for him, he was funner to be around, his insecurities were going away. And, he ceased being an object of speculation around the office. He was just a gay guy. My wife and I even went to his wedding which was pretty dam fun.

He left the company for a better job and eventually I also left the company to pursue some other opportunities.

So I think my point on this, is that, you might be dropping clues left and right for everybody to pick up on. And they probably have a pretty good hunch what is going on.

I'm not sure if I can give any advice other than if you do come out there are probably going to be at least a small group of people who will be rooting for you.

[CynthiaD]

I'm not a sports fan, and I occasionally get teased by the football fans at work. A few times they've said things like "you know, not liking football calls your masculinity into question." I always reply in my most feminine voice "We'll, that's just what you say!" Everybody thinks that's really funny. So do I, but for a different reason.

[Ciara Brianne]

I have had a few experiences where crossdressing has come up in conversation among friends. It usually seems coincidental, but the other day it came up in a conversation with a couple of friends while we were talking about kilts. One of my friends said "It's not like I'm a crossdresser" and looked at me after. I don't know that he knows. I think it was just eye contact during conversation. I laughed at his comment. I suspect that the other friend that was present, my longest and probably best friend, knows. He recently stated that nothing could come between true friends. He said this while looking me right in the eyes with a knowing look on his face. I am beginning to think that it is possible that quite a few people that know me are actually in the know. If this is true, I may have some or the best friends a gurl could have. If they know, they haven't said anything to me, and I suspect it may be because they know that I had not come to terms with it yet. Knowing me as well as they do, they now there will be no discussion until I am ready.

Ciara

[Vickie_CDTV]

Because this is a workplace situation, and carries all kinds of issues a modern workplace does, I'd be very careful about any kind of disclosure.

[ossian]

I have had a few experiences where crossdressing has come up in conversation among friends. It usually seems coincidental, but the other day it came up in a conversation with a couple of friends while we were talking about kilts. One of my friends said "It's not like I'm a crossdresser" and looked at me after. I don't know that he knows. I think it was just eye contact during conversation. I laughed at his comment. I suspect that the other friend that was present, my longest and probably best friend, knows. He recently stated that nothing could come between true friends. He said this while looking me right in the eyes with a knowing look on his face. I am beginning to think that it is possible that quite a few people that know me are actually in the know. If this is true, I may have some or the best friends a gurl could have. If they know, they haven't said anything to me, and I suspect it may be because they know that I had not come to terms with it yet. Knowing me as well as they do, they now there will be no discussion until I am ready.

Ciara

Speak more about kilts. That is an unusual topic to bring up in the work place. :-)

[Amanda M]

As for kilts, when I wear mine, I do not consider that I am in any way dressed - it is just so entirely different!

[carolinewalker_2000]

Sounds as though you have been spotted to me. However, it is probably better for you female co-workers to be a bit more overt with their messages before you up and confess all! (However, wouldn't it be great if you did suddenly find you had a whole bunch of supportive women who could help you bring out you inner self.)

[Cathy Jooste]

My co-workers are all girls. One girl often make remarks like "are you buffing your nails?" or "why do you have a pink wallet?" or "I like your hello kitty iPhone cover." The other girls just smile. I'm one of the executives and I suppose the other girls are too scared to say anything. I'd love to know what they're thinking ...

[Cathy Jooste]

Yea, that is a sure possibility in my case.

Might have had traces of makeup left on and they put two and two together?

[sometimes_miss]

Its regular banter. Try responding with a positive answer and you will see the person asking cringe go in to shock...then you say, just joking and you will see the relief on their face. These comments by woman are just a way for them to feel some power over members of their opposite sex. We read too much in to it.

Regular banter. About teasing a guy with remarks that he crossdresses. Riiiiiiiight. Happens all the time. Riiiiiight. Not.
They've seen or heard something that indicates to them that you've got some type of girlish issue. Could be anything, but remember, women notice lots more than men do, and tend to continually search for alternate meanings for EVERYTHING. So when they see anything that might indicate you're not completely the masculine male you suppose to be, don't be surprised when they see if they can get you to out yourself to them. Makes for great gossip, most women love to talk about such things to each other. And talk and talk and talk.
Trim your eyebrows a bit too thin? Leave ANY leftover nail polish or make up on, even a teeny tiny bit? Shave any part of your body other than your beard? Have anything girly, anywhere? Slip up with any of your practiced feminine physical mannerisms or speech? Have you been seen reading women's clothing ads (or make up, etc.) just a bit too carefully? It doesn't take much.
I've been working in the same place for over ten years, and no one at work's seen me with a date on my arm. So of course, I've overheard numerous women discussing my 'questionable sexuality'; I eventually took the opportunity when it presented itself; while overhearing one of said discussions, I turned the corner and told the woman that of course I wasn't interested in her fat old ass, but then pointed at a much younger and prettier colleague and said but if she's available I'll gladly do her. After I added in that just because I'm not dating a ugly old hen doesn't mean I'm a gay rooster, the rest of the crew burst out in laughter.