I need to get this off my chest, so here goes!
Before I met my current wife, I used to CD (clothes only, no makeup, shoes etc). When she came into my life, my CD desires left, and I purged. I did tell her of my love for panties, and she accepted it. Life was great. I was wearing panties, with her full support, and I was very happy.
All couples fight. But I don't think we fought healthily. If I gave in to my wife, we would avoid a fight. But if I felt strongly about something, we would fight very bitterly. I felt that she was very stubborn, and that she could not accept she could be wrong about something, or that I could be hurt by what she said. So our fights would escalate and blow up and eventually, someone would have to give in. It was always me. Despite how hurt or angry I was, I still had to put everything aside and give in to her. It used to be that after she calmed down, I could tell her why I was upset. Slowly, I realized I couldn't. She wasn't interested, she didn't care. Over time, I felt very distant and cold after a fight, because I felt I was the one giving in, and I felt that my emotions were not being addressed.
I started to notice a pattern. After a huge fight, because I was feeling so empty, my CD urges slowly came back. Except they would remain even after I moved on from the fight and emptiness. CDing felt strangely comforting to me, whether it was underdressing at work, or working out in the gym in women's workout clothes. I felt like my heart was at peace, and not in turmoil or feeling empty. I realized this even more when we had a huge fight on a Friday night, and I wasn't able to CD for the entire weekend. Trying to move on after the fight was a lot harder. My heart felt bitter for longer. On the flip side, when I CD, I found it a lot easier to move on.
I wish I didn't have this secret. But if I didn't have this secret, I don't think my marriage would have lasted.