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Thread: Help me get out in public my second time

  1. #1
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    Help me get out in public my second time

    Sorry this is so long. The first 2 paragraphs tell how I started to CD, and the last 2 actually refer to the title in the thread. If you want to help me go out only, skip the next two paragraphs. If you want more background, read on.

    So, about 20 years ago, I was invited to a Halloween party that would be mostly people from my work. I loved Halloween as a kid, and always looked forward to creative costumes. My wife hated Halloween, and we had never gone to a party together. I must have suggested 50 costume ideas to her, all of them were shot down, and I was getting desperate. I then suggested that we go as opposites (her as a man, me as a woman), and she finally agreed to that costume. I found out the day of the party that the only reason she agreed to that, was because she thought I would chicken out from doing that, and she wouldn't have to go to the party. Now, at this point, I had never CD'd. I wasn't cross dressing that night either, I was simply wearing a costume. But, because I go all out at Halloween, no matter what the costume, I went all out to present myself as a woman. My thought was I wouldn't be embarrassed out in public, if I wasn't just a guy who "Putting on a dress and a wig", and that was it. I knew I would never make an attractive woman, but there are a lot of woman out there that are also not attractive. I was just trying to blend, and not be obvious. So, I got rid of the hair on my legs with Nair, shaved my chest, and shaved my hands, and even made my wife thin my eyebrows very little. I wore a long sleeve blouse, so the hands were as far as I needed to go. I wore a size 14 mini skirt, bra, blouse, wig, and 2 inch heels. From the neck down, you would never guess guy if you saw me walking down the street. Now, my wife did my makeup, and did a horrible job. I didn't think I looked good at all, and couldn't fool anyone. She was trying to make me not go, and i was going to this party. I needed to stop and get gas on the way there. This was before pay at the pump, and I needed to go inside to pay. I walked in, and fooled 3 people until I talked. Also stopped at a store, and didn't get a second look from people until I talked. Needless to say, I had a blast that night. I also won best costume. Most fun I have ever had at Halloween, and I've always wanted to do it again. I enjoyed EVERYTHING about that night, and sparked the flame to CD again.

    That night, I first enjoyed the feel of nylons over shaved legs, and the thrill of going out in public. I've wanted to do it again for 20 years. This was also the start of my CDing. Never doing it a lot. It was mostly putting on nylons a few times a year, and trying on my wife's dresses maybe 7 times over that same 20 year period. But, over the 20 years I have "grown" from a size 14 to 18, and my wife is a 22 to 24, so nothing really fit and felt right. Two years ago, I had a heart attack, and was 99 percent blocked. I had a stent put in, was on blood thinners, and started to wear compression hose when I flew on business to prevent blood clots. Now I was enjoying the feeling of these for hours at a time, instead of 30 minutes in my room 5 or 6 times a year. I of course love that feeling. Over this past year, I have actually bought a skirt to wear when I get to my work destination. I now have a skirt, and 2 blouses.

    Last year, my new company did their first ever Halloween contest at work. I told people there of some of my past costumes over the years, and they all loved that I once dressed as a woman. They all wanted me to do it for this work contest. I told my wife, and she was dead set against it. She hated me doing it 20 years ago, and there was no way she wanted me to now. But, I wanted the chance to dress again, and to do it all day long. So, my thought was to do it this year, but without my wife knowing. That means no shaving, and no thinning of my brows, and no wife to do makeup. So, how will I pull this off? I've decided I can get ready in the bathroom at work, and my wife will never know what I did. Over the last few months, I have bought heels, another skirt, blouse, bad wig, and tan tights so I won't need to shave anything. But, since I can't do makeup, and have horrible eyebrows, I have no chance of making this work for my face. Also, since this is not a couples thing where we went as opposites, I want to be a "woman in costume".

    So, I need your help and ideas. I would like to do a female costume that I can wear a dress or skirt in, and hide my eyes, and be in costume. I'm thinking like a female cop, were I can wear sunglasses to hide my eyes. Not a "sexy cop" because I am size 18, and those costumes are short sleeved, and I can't get rid of arm hair. I'm thinking like wearing a CSI hat, glasses, and CSI coat, with a blouse and skirt. But, that is kind of a lame costume. So I'm looking for suggestions of a costume that is quick, covers eyes and arms, and does not require a mask. Any suggestions for me?

  2. #2
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    Sorry to burst your bubble here but you need to talk to your wife first. Your escapade will be related to her eventually and you'll have to face a worse music then.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Melissa Rose's Avatar
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    Hiding your eyes or eyebrows, and being able to wear that part of the costume all day at work may be a challenge. Wearing something like sunglasses indoor all day long may come across as odd or strange to others or may not be conducive to performing your job duties. The only costume idea I had where you could disguise or incorporate unshaped eyebrows is something like the Bride of Frankenstein. Maybe something with a sheer veil like a harem girl or lady in black (funeral) might work, but again you would be wearing the veil down all day long. There are techniques that drag queens use to cover eyebrows and pencil in new ones. It does take a lot of work and time to apply and remove so it may not be feasible at work. There are videos on YouTube showing the techniques.

    Is this for a Halloween costume contest later this year at work? It is not clear from your post. If it is a work party, is there a chance your wife will find out afterwards? A co-worker may mention your costume in conversation with her and unknowingly get you into trouble or a picture may be posted which she stumbles upon. These things have a way of getting out at the most inopportune times. Your description of her being "dead set against it" and "hated me doing it" is a concern. I would hate to hear you had a big blow up at home because you disregarded her feelings and tried to dress as a woman behind her back. While you see this as an opportunity to dress for a full day, it may be an opportunity to cause a very unpleasant fight. I do not intend to rain on your parade, but I am concerned about the possible fall out. Please tread carefully and really think this through.
    Last edited by Melissa Rose; 03-02-2013 at 01:17 AM.

  4. #4
    Member Naomi Rayne's Avatar
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    I would say that being dressed up as a woman is the costume in and of itself. So lets say u work in an office. Wearing womens office attire would be the costume. It doesnt have to be something like a woman cop or woman costume in order to be a costume. Your looking for something simple to accomplish so that it can be done at work. What is simpler then just dressing up as a woman in attire thats acceptable for the work scenario. Or in any womens attire for that matter. Since your in costume and trying to be in costume just do your makeup as best as you can. Not all women wear makeup. You could just throw on some mascara and be done with it for the eyes. Not having to go crazy and make it look bad.

    Also you are going to find that most people on this forum will tell you its a bad idea to hide this from your wife because it may end up causing a situation later. The people here that share with their SO's have gone through hell and back to do so. And even the ones that dont share seem to want to share but are afraid of how to. I do understand the need to hide this from you wife because she seems to be incredible disapproving of it. I do at least hope that if your going to go down the path of this that at some point you discuss your CDing with her. There may be something that shes uncomfortable with such as you appearing out in public as her husband wearing womans clothes (even if it is for halloween purposes). Or it could be something much deeper then that. Thats for you to discuss with her tho, should you choose to do that.
    Being dressed up is much better if you have someone else to admire and enjoy it with you.

    ------------------------------------------------------
    If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?
    - Alice Kingsley

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member Stevie's Avatar
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    Well said Lolalace I would have still kept this private if my wife never found my hiding spots lol.
    Sandi Beach good luck with the costume idea. You have six months to prepare. Hiding it from your wife may sound good but if and when she finds out will make matters more complicated.
    Last edited by Stevie; 03-02-2013 at 05:05 AM.

  6. #6
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    It is hard to pull this off without your wife's support.
    I think her opposition is to your crossdressing.
    To do this you need to engage the services of your workmates.
    I still think you will alienate your wife into the bargain.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  7. #7
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    Yes, there is a risk of me doing this at work, and my wife some how finding out. But, when we (there are a lot of us that dress without our SO Knowing) dress in secret, there is always a risk. You could easily say don't dress at home, because any family member could come home and find you. Don't ever go out in public, because someone could see you and tell your wife. There is an element of danger no matter where and when we dress in secret.

    This is not an after work event. This is people wearing a costume all day at work. Last year, the most popular costume was a guy as the joker wearing a nurses dress. There were some pictures taken, and I tried to get my wife to look at them. She had no interest in doing so. She knows none of my co-workers, and never talks to any of them. So, the chances of her hearing about this are slim.

    Still, I understand the "dangers" of this, and I will think it through thoroughly before I act. That is also why I am planning this out 7 months in advance. I want to make sure I can do this right, and can put together a costume quickly that leaves no evidence of doing it when I return home. This is why I'm thinking about this so far in advance.

    I like the lady in black suggestion so far. Harem girl with my large body (I'm 5' 9", 220 pounds. I can get into size 18 with heavy cinching) will just not do. I've also watched the videos on hiding eyebrows, and have tried it once. Not something I can do at work quickly. I can dress as woman, hiding everything well, in about 20 minutes. I'll post a picture of what I did on this last business trip soon. So, that allows a quick change at work. The issue is what to do with my face.

    So, so far I've got plain woman, woman CSI, and lady in black. Any other ideas? There is a lot of creativity in this group......

  8. #8
    Crossdresser-At-Large BillieAnneJean's Avatar
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    First you never should sneak doing anything with a wife. I have never done so, but I know guys that have. After over 40 years my wife and I are happier and more comfortable than we were when we were in the first flush of love. Women can blow what they see all out of proportion. Mine had problems with CDing. It took months of careful PR work to get her comfortable with it. Your wife will think you are gay, or that you no longer want her, or any number of things. She will feel threatened and that you cheated. You are at a crossroads. Don't @!#$ it up.

    But you could go as a nun. That covers everything, looks silly enough to get some laughs, and might be a spiritual experience. And your wife may not think that you look better than her. She may even think it is silly enough that you will get laughs instead of derision. Get a habit that is long enough to cover your arms and legs completely. Or you could go as a Franciscan Monk. Their habit is just like a dress with bare legs and sandals. While at the office, offer to do any marriages but advise everyone that the ceremony lasts longer than the marriage.

    But tell your wife you are going to do it beforehand in a way that she sees as asking her approval. Try that approach first. If that fails, then you can make the decision if you want to experience the perfect storm.

    If not then look at something like Tri-ess. There are chapters in some locations in the US. There are also some independent groups where you could have the enfemme experience. If your wife refuses the office party, and she has probably got better sense than you if she does, then consider dressing at a support group meeting. After all, your wife is thinking that there could be employment and scial repercussions from your (in her eyes) foolishness.

    Fail and you could be splitting your 401K and all of the rest of your assets. Golf with half a set of clubs?

  9. #9
    Connie Connie D50's Avatar
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    Sandi Call transfornatiomn in Arlington Hts and get a early makeover go into work a little late and have a blast Connie

  10. #10
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    I concur with the others about trying to do this without your wife's knowledge and approval. That's just going to blow up in your face. Another potential pitfall is you run the risk of outing yourself at work by being "too good" of a crossdresser. Most of us on here are about appearing as feminine and natural as possible. But usually when a man wears a female costume, it is not about that, it more about humor, or shock, looking deliberately ridiculous in order to get laughs, or something other than actually trying to look like a woman. So if you appear too "normal" or to have gone to a lot of effort to look feminine, it may raise suspicions. May be that's not a problem, or maybe it would be. Just something to think about.

  11. #11
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    Okay,

    So I've got 7 months to figure out a way to get my wife to agree to this. If she does, she will not get up early to help with makeup. So, assuming I get the go ahead, and I'm doing this, I still need help coming up with ideas that let me hide my eyes.

    Looking for ideas. Anything goes..........

  12. #12
    Member Naomi Rayne's Avatar
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    80s costume could also allow you to wear sunglasses...
    Being dressed up is much better if you have someone else to admire and enjoy it with you.

    ------------------------------------------------------
    If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?
    - Alice Kingsley

  13. #13
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    This sounds like the battle between Good Sandi & bad Sandi and if bad Sandi wins it probably won't end well.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

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