*** How many people here feel the same way or have feedback on this subject ***

[Erica Marie]

How many people here at times feel more that they are in the wrong body and not just about the dressing. How many of you feel more like tom-boys. We can do all the things guys do, like outdoor stuff, be mechanically inclined, work with our hands. But still feel like we may be female on the inside. Honest how much do we do as a male that a female cant do? And why as a male cant we do the things that are general female thing, cooking, sewing ect...?
Now as far as dressing why is it ok for a girl to wear jeans, overalls, t-shirts and dress pretty when they feel they want to. And guys are just expected to dress like, well, guys.
Any help or feedback would be greatly appreciated.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Born in the wrong body possibly, I think my girl side just has the exact same traits as my male one. In male mode when I want to I can look like a GQ and Mens Health model when I want to go through the time and effort to look nice ex. suits, polo shirts, khaki's etc. Usually in male mode I settle for faded T Shirts with holes, a pair of jeans, very old sneakers and that's about it. Much to my wife's aggrivation because she of course wants to see me look nice and not like a slob in male mode. I usually only go the GQ look for church, work, and fine dining with the wife.

In girl mode while in the house, it's usually the same just jeans or leggings, a shirt, wig placed in a pony tail, no make up and that's it. It's when I do pic's that my high maintence to look like a million bucks take over and I get all dressed up. Basically for both modes dressing nicely usually is a result of neccessity (work for male mode), (ego for posting pics girl mode). If I were born a GG or 24/7 I would go for the tom girl look most of the time, while going for the all dressed up look for work, and just for shock value to be the center of attention.

As for activities in either mode, I loathe cleaning, and house work. I don't care too much for cooking, and the same goes for yard work, auto repair, home maintenance etc. I believe both my male and female sides were born in the wrong body more so for the purpose to drive each other crazy, and to make life more fun!!

[andrea lace]

And why as a male cant we do the things that are general female thing, cooking, sewing ect...?
.

Hi Erica as a male I do all of the household cooking and I love it. My wife does do the sewing though. As far as cleaning goes we share but I do most of it and I am sure my wife appreciates this

[Kate Simmons]

If we are in touch with ourselves and our feelings, we can do anything we want to do my friend.

[nhlighthouse]

Erica...It is because we were all programed by our parents and society to act a certain way based upon our gender. I and others can't really pin point to who/whom first delegated this programming as such and it would be very interesting to find out from where and why.
However, it will just continue along the same lines unless we all become more accepting and tolerent of people expressing their true feelings from within without having a label attached to them.

[cdmorganashley]

hmm well i feel like i prefer the grace and softness we normally associate with the feminine and i simply prefer girly styles over masculine but i dont necessarily feel like i am in the wrong body just that my body isnt what i want it to be but i think i can make some great strides to getting closer to what i want by becoming thinner... as for society's expectations i dont know where to begin... i mean if u are a nice and good person that should be all that matters not what u wear or who u date or stuff like that

[danielleinbr]

Born in the wrong body? For me it is WAY more than about dressing. I don't like having to be in guy mode at all, but I am a practical girl and such is life, so I just deal with it and don't let it bother me anymore. As far as gender roles, I think they are a crock. As long as you have the physical capability, do what u like and what interests you. I dont mind doing things such as mechanic work if I have to, but I am not going to do it in my nice clothes, and I am gonna wear gloves so I dont mess up my hands, lol. Does it affect how I see my female side, or my dreadful man side? Not to me personally. I just see it as accomplishing what needs to be done.
Danielle

[Rachel Morley]

Why as a male cant we do the things that are general female thing, cooking, sewing ect...? Now as far as dressing why is it ok for a girl to wear jeans, overalls, t-shirts and dress pretty when they feel they want to. And guys are just expected to dress like, well, guys. Any help or feedback would be greatly appreciated.

IMHO it's because of the the social and gender hierarchy within our society. When a woman dresses in a way that is perceived to be masculine it's not considered a problem because she's going "up the scale". However, when a man dresses in a way that is perceived to be feminine it is a problem because (especially amongst other men) he's lowering himself because in their eyes dressing feminine is being less of a man, and being less of a man is considered a bad thing. In other words if you are male then there is an expectation that you show a level of masculinity. A guy who wear, skirts, dresses and makeup does not follow the expected level of masculinity he is supposed to have.

Now, obviously I'm generalizing about the public at large, and not everyone thinks this way, but IMHO the only way we will ever be truly accepted is when women truly get an equal status in society with men. Why hasn't there ever been a female US President? Where are all the female military Generals? See what I mean? I happen to believe that the key to it being accepted is the empowerment of women. That’s why all cders should be interested in women’s issues to help women to level the playing field. I'll get off my soap box now.

[Jenniferathome]

Hi Erica, no, I was born in the right body. I'm a guy and happy to be so. Don't let gender roles confuse you. I do cook, mostly because I have a vested interest in doing so (I like to eat). I don't sew because I don't care to. It goes on and on. But, I'm also happy to be a cross dresser on occasion. Remember, women are not cross dressing when they wear jeans and a t-shirt. They are wearing clothes cut for women. Men can dress "pretty" as well and it is accepted: they wear a suit, for example. A woman can NOT wear a man's suit without looking ridiculous. You see it differently because you are a cross dresser. My advice is not to get hung up in the little details of life. Don't ask, "why can't I...?" Enjoy what you can do.

[Beverley Sims]

I sometimes feel I am in the wrong body, that is a state of mind I have learned to live with.
Most females can do what we do physically considering their size and build.
Mentally they seem sometimes more versatile.

[Erica Marie]

As far as gender roles, I think they are a crock.
Danielle

Danielle I think you hit it right on the head. Just because we were born with a genders certain parts why do we have to live that role. Can we just be who we are?

[Lynn Marie]

For some silly reason I've always felt I could do anything. I can fix most anything, be any woman's dream hunk; and also sew and cook and clean house better than my exwife! Okay, she could cook Southern Italian pretty good.

I've never felt that I was in the wrong body. I've just got this "enhanced personality" that allows me to be whomever I like!

[Joanne f]

Yes I have always said that a female can do most things that a male can do so why assume that if I had been born a female I would have not done all the things that I have done as a male , hopefully the only difference would have been that I would have looked a lot prettier doing them as a female and maybe a lot happier

[Stephanie47]

I've never felt I was born in the wrong body. I have absolutely no clue why I started wearing feminine attire. Now, I should preface the comment by indicating I have no desire to mix the gender wardrobe. I have never added any trinket or article of female clothing to my male look. I have never had the desire to conceal nail polish on my toenails. I stopped under dressing because it added no thrill to my cross dressing adventures. When the desire to cross dress arises it's the full deal, i.e., all undergarments, hosiery, heels and a dress along with a wig. Makeup is optional because nobody's going to see me, and, it's absence does not detract from my personal experience.

I have always liked doing guy things. Frankly, I do not know if there is NOW any real differentiation between male and female roles. Yes, sometimes I see the uniforms of a girl's sport team in pink or a pastel color, which I ascribe, not to the young girls, but, the old biddies of society trying to hold onto some warped sense of femininity. Now there are many young women entering traditional male fields. Where I worked there were more female CPA's entering practice than men. More doctors are female.

To say a person was born in the wrong body, IMHO, has nothing to do with gender roles. It has to do with their perception of sexuality. I do not ascribe to the position a person enjoys cross dressing because the colors and styles are prettier. To me, that's a cop out. Or at a bare minimum it's the position to parrot because you really do not know.

I do not know why I cross dress. No one influenced me. It just arose. In my personal situation, I think it is a psychological mechanism to escape the stresses of male life WITHOUT taking on the burdens of female life. There's no child raising involved. I just enjoy emulating a woman while doing chores that I have come to perceive as being gender neutral. I am a cook? Or am I a chef? You gives a @#$%. It's preparing a meal to consume.

Today, because I had an appointment I am not en femme. I am in guy mode and I have absolutely no angst banging away on this keyboard totally in male mode which I am totally enjoying today.

[flatlander_48]

Although I have other issues, I have never felt that i was in the wrong body.

[Rachelakld]

I love my male bod, Ok the abs & arms need a re-work (3 weeks in the pool should fix that) but it also comes with a cool toy.
Living in a house with mainly female teens, I'm cook, cleaner, mechanic, builder, painter, laundry girl, artist (soon to be bested by Miss 15), plumber, electrican, fashion advisor and shopping assistant.

[blackmamba]

Why cultural gender norms are the way they are is a question that would probably require an answer from specialist biologists, anthropologists, historians, etc. All we can do is accept it and work towards a better and more open-minded culture with less rigidly defined gender roles... and it is getting better each day!

As for myself, I certainly sympathize with the way you feel, and I think you've captured very aptly how I feel myself; kind of a reverse tom-boy. Cross-dressing is just one aspect of how I express my gender identity, but it doesn't and shouldn't always have to be so extreme an example. Even today, we are kind of forced to present in either one gender identity or the other. Why can't i wear gorgeous high heels with my sharply cut navy suit and matching tie?

Anyway, for the moment I hope you can resolve your inner conflict and accept that you can do feminine things from time to time and it's OK!

[darla_g]

Born in the wrong body? No that would imply being transsexual which I know I am not.

I am with Jennifer on this. I like my male side would never want to give it up, but enjoy the opportunities to dress and I go all out for it. By that I mean no underdressing or anything like that because that would seem like its just a fetish about a piece of clothing like panties. I find I am pretty much in a comfortable balance on this and wouldn't change a thing.

[NathalieX66]

I have a number of transsexual friends. I get the classic line of "I'm born in the wrong body".

Having attended three transgender conferences.....Keystone Conference in Pennsylvania twice, and Southern Comfort Conference once, and meeting many who are TS, I get it.

One of my best friends , who is transsexual, stated "my brain seeks estrogen that isn't there".... thus the need for hormone replacement therapy, you know HRT.

I'm doing Keystone this year, and hopefully SCC. It's not easy for us dual-gender (or bi-gender) types like me either. I spend too much time jogging to lose weight, eating/drinking soy products that allegedly make the body more feminine (...which I don't believe there is truth to this myth), and doing permanent hair removal like electrolysis and laser..

I would say the best advice is to create the ideal model of your self, and just go.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Over all im quite happy with my body all ways have been . okay there have been a few details that did not allow my self to carry my own baby i lacked what i needed, yet in other ways i have what i have needed as female, my maleness is not a issue i have accepted those miner details & yet they have helped me immensly over the years, & with out those miner details i would not be a strong woman that i have grown into.

So sometimes what we may think is a deturant can in fact be the makeing of us, when, we allow learn to accept as we grow, that does not say we are perfect in every way. i have lots of flaw's in my makeup, & even so that has given me what iv needed to over come many of my disabilitys & handycap's & thats from very young. fact is some have been major ,

We can fight our self's & die or work through & become stronger .

The wrong body issue, yes i hear that a lot, it has not stoped me from being female in part from birth, even if i lack some organs yes theres allways a underlieing Emotional hangup allways will be, iv accepted that though it hurts like .......

Do i die because of that , no id have lost to much our family for one & my lovely friends for two. & what i have achived over my life so far 65 years, I live & have a neat life to live, & the best part is as a female /woman.i dont know any other way,

...noeleena...

[ReineD]

How many people here at times feel more that they are in the wrong body and not just about the dressing. How many of you feel more like tom-boys. We can do all the things guys do, like outdoor stuff, be mechanically inclined, work with our hands. But still feel like we may be female on the inside.

You're saying a lot of different things here. When you mean "feeling like you are in the wrong body", do you mean that you feel as if your male sexual characteristics are gross birth defects, they are causing you intense emotional anxiety, and you want them permanently gone? Are you transsexual?

Or do you mean that you enjoy the feeling you get when you present as an attractive woman?

You mention tom-boys (or tom-girls for MtF). Do you just like to present as a guy who wears skirts? As far as I know, tom-boys (or tom-girls) are individuals who DO identify with their birth-sex. Girls who are tom-boys still think of themselves as girls although they reject some of the stereotypical feminine fashions or activities. They do not believe they are in the wrong bodies nor do they attempt to present as a gender that is opposite than birth-sex.

Honest how much do we do as a male that a female cant do? And why as a male cant we do the things that are general female thing, cooking, sewing ect...?

I don't mean to be contrary, but really, what is stopping you? In modern marriages, wives and husbands who both work also both share the household chores, including changing the babies' diapers. Why can't you enjoy cooking a fabulous meal? I know men who enjoy doing this and who are fabulous chefs, others enjoy ballroom dancing, collecting art, going to the opera or ballet, they have opinions and preferences about how their homes are decorated, etc. I don't know many men who sew or knit, but then I don't know many women who do this anymore either. But if I did meet a man who sewed, I would not think him weird. In fact, aren't there many male tailors and clothing designers?

Now as far as dressing why is it ok for a girl to wear jeans, overalls, t-shirts and dress pretty when they feel they want to. And guys are just expected to dress like, well, guys.

This is a different line of thinking since you are comparing crossdressers who wish to present as women to women who do not wish to present as men.

Excepting FtM, birth-females wear jeans, overalls and Tshirts that are purchased in the women's department and are designed and tailored for their bodies (boobs and hips). These girls do not wear male haircuts, they do not wear male jeans, Tshirts, shoes, or overalls, nor do they bind their breasts or pack in order to look like men. Most men who wear dresses and skirts also wear wigs, makeup, and they wear forms and padding to fit into garments that are designed for a female body. They do attempt to present as a sex that is different than their birth sex.

There are men who present as men and who wear utility skirts or kilts ... granted, not many, but they are not thought of in the same way as men who appear to be rejecting their maleness by emulating females. There have also been many threads here where the majority of the members have rejected these looks, because they are not women's clothes:

http://sellhighpricedprograms.com/bl...anskirts10.jpg
http://www.sodahead.com/united-state...an+mini+skirts (scroll down)
http://images.goodfood.com.au/2013/0...=1359597832531
http://images-2.drive.com.au/2013/01...=1359597824688
http://www.zappos.com/mountain-hardw...130305101249:s

I think you should compare apples with apples.

[bobbimo]

Erica,
Thats a brilliant observation.
When I look back at my life I can fully agree with you.
I loved to do all the boys stuff, but for some reason was drawn to the femme part of life, however this part for a growing boy was not appropriate.
amazing!
Bobbi

Reine,
I think you over thought this one..
Assume you are GG, That should be easy for you. You wake up in the morning when your a kid and you go out to play ball, ride your bike, fix the flat tire, play earth movers in the dirt. Basically boy fun things to do. When your done mom calls you inside to get cleaned up, you bathe, wash your hair and tie it into pony tails and put on a pretty dress. Your girl friends come over in the afternoon and you play dolls, dress up, maybe hit moms make up. and lots of normal girly fun.
What Erica is talking about is the same morning experience, but after you get cleaned up. there is nothing.. Nothing except the wondering what am I missing. You don't know the answer, because the femme part of you is subconsciously hidden. You wont discover the magic of dressing up for maybe years to come.

Bobbi

[katiekat]

How many people here at times feel more that they are in the wrong body and not just about the dressing. How many of you feel more like tom-boys. We can do all the things guys do, like outdoor stuff, be mechanically inclined, work with our hands.

That's about right for me

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Erica, I never felt like I was in the wrong body I like the way it is.

[Danielle_cder]

I'm in the right body, just have a few loose or miss wired connections... I'm content tho