I don't understand why I or anybody else needs to see a therapist. I don't see my dressing as a problem. As far as I know if you have a problem then go see a therapist but society labels us as I problem so we have to take time out of our lives to be told what we already know. I personally think maybe society has issues and they should go see a therapist. .these are my personal feelings that I have to get off my chest.
Stevie you are so right and I agree with you fully...It is not us as CD's or others!
Originally Posted by Stevie
Sometimes life can be a bit complicated. In my case my wife found out by accident and it almost ruined my marriage. I saw a therapist to help put things back together. My CDing and gender issues were always a big part of that.
Hi Stevie
Though I almost agree I feel that therapy may help loved one cope with this side of us. Let's face it, this is something that 99% of the worlds population would see as something not right. When I told my exwife about it(and this is one person that supposedly loved me)she freaked out intensely to a point that she could not deal with it. Like you I know who I am but others may have trouble with it. So I feel that sometimes a third unbias party may help. Ever notice how your wife listens to others more so than to you? If I had not been so stubborn and seen a therapist with the exwife it may have helped save my marriage.
Stevie,
I do not have a problem either, I do not seek therapy for anything.
I have always made up my mind about what ever is wrong with my mind, body, etc.
Some need guidance as they have some insurmountable problem that they are unable to solve.
Some come here with marriages on the rocks and all they have is hate between partners.
They need a mediator to help them see reason. I think therapists are a mediator between some of us and our minds.
Those undergoing transition take hormones that change their bodies and mess with their minds, they sometimes become depressed and confused and all it takes is a second opinion to help them out.
Fortunately I feel I do not have any troubles and go along enjoying life and handing out homespun philosophy to others.
So because you and I are fortunate in life others do need help.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
The problem is that society makes us endure this guilt about being who we are and not accepting us as that person. Once we free ourselves of that guilt and realize that it is not Our problem, but Theirs then we can move along in life without all the baggage and enjoy living...no therapist required.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
I agree. Wearing any type of clothing that you "like", is not a problem. Things should only be considered a problem with they disrupt and interfere with other parts of your life.
Stephanie
Very few people are complately self actualized, therapy can not only solve problems but give you someone objective to talk to where you might not get with a spouse or friend or Internet forums.
I'm married to a CDer, and neither one of us sees a therapist. However, I can see how talking with someone well educated and nonjudgmental could be really beneficial for some.
Just because some CDers are totally comfortable with themselves doesn't mean all are. Imagine living as a closet CDer surrounded by friends and family who make it glaringly obvious that they think such things are "disgusting" or "an abomination"... I can't even begin to imagine how it must feel to have your wife practically disown you, have your family torn apart, and have something so personal broadcast to every family member, friend, and neighbor just for spite. You can't take ALL THOSE PEOPLE to therapy and change THEM. But that one person could go and learn to be more accepting of themselves despite the reaction of others, learn to cope with the distress of such a horrible family breakup, learn how to express themselves to friends/loved ones in the future without dying of anxiety first, etc etc...
If dressing doesn't cause any problems for a person, then yay for them. But that's not to say that society is the only side that can have real problems. I don't consider therapy to be something to "fix" a cd/ts person, it's just to help them have a more abundant, happy life regardless of what their experiences are with society.
Macy's wife
I'm strongly considering a therapist, if I can find someone who isn't going to tell me that God will cure me. I'm having trouble adjusting to this side of myself, it will probably help to talk with someone.
Is it really stupid to feel so badly about something so trivial? Yes. Society is screwed up and intolerant. Does knowing that change my feelings of self doubt and loathing? Not one iota.
Many TS folks go to therapists as they are conflicted or go because it's a requirement within the Harry Benjamin standards to transition. I never had a problem with myself. I went to therapy to try and figure out how to deal with those of my family and friends who did have a problem with it. I was successful in that endeavor.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
when one is involved in an act, such as CDing, one does not see it as a problem. Driving too fast on the highway, not a problem (unless the other driver gets in your way). Jumping from an airplane with no parachute, not a problem (until you hit the ground). Cheating on your spouse, no problem (until she finds out and you have hurt her feelings). You could go on and on.
Personally, I don't find using a therapist helpful. I have worked my way through what many find confusing or questionable. However, a lot of people benefit from therapy, if for nothing more than having someone to talk to who won't be judgmental. If I continue my journey as it is going a therapist will become required. Hopefully a short requirement
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
While I have not had professional counseling sessions, I did participate in a peer-to-peer counseling methodology for a number of years. It was where I began to consider the possibility that I was not heterosexual. One of the things that I found out, which others here may already know, is that if I could verbalize what I was thinking and feeling, I was well on the way to dealing with it. If I couldn't verbalize it, all I was doing was treading water (and just barely at that). Just being in a benign and non-judging environment does wonders for relieving the pressure and allowing one to actually think.
As long as your CDing is not causing a problem in your life, there is no need for therapy. There are many that do go to therapy because they become confused about their gender or their CDing is interfering with their life. It is all too easy to get lost in the "pink fog".
If it's not causing you any emotional pain or life troubles, then you probably don't need to see a therapist. You're one of the lucky ones.
However, many people in the CD/TS spectrum aren't so lucky. We either struggle with guilt, shame, or depression; or we're not sure how far things go and we're uncertain how to proceed; or we are in situations where spouses, parents, or others are causing us emotional pain. For us, therapy can be a helpful support unit.
Ali Edwards
Transgender Science ~ Blogging with WrodPress ~ Tweeting on Twitter
"I am half-sick of shadows," said / The Lady of Shalott.
Some things are only really able to be handled by a professional, and besides - do you want to be the Debbie Downer who constantly moans about her problems to whoever will listen?
If you feel like, for example, wishing to cease existing it's better to talk with a professional about it rather than put such a heavy burden on friends and or family who probably aren't equipped to handle it.
Imagine how they would feel knowing that they can't help you.
I thought about seeking therapy but this place helped me to understand all I need to know.
That's how I feel.
- Don't pet the sweaty things.
- Don't sweat the petty things.
Mine main problem is I saw a therapist on two serrated occasions for two separate reasons and was mislabeled both times. Those idiots took what I said in confidence and twisted it around. When they weren't doing that they were agreeing with me to make me feel better. They are a bunch of crap. Now with that off my chest I do agree if I was to plan on transitioning I would then seek a therapist. That is a big issue and having a third party listen to you will help in making your final decision. I don't want my bad experiences spoil others that could use the help of one.
Hmm I think most things in moderation are cool. It's probably equally important to be honest with your S/O though.
The only issue for me is the one Bible passage in Deuteronomy. I'm very spiritual so, it's hard for me to get past that.
Girls wear guy clothes all the freaking time though and no one bats an eyelash. Double standards.
I'm agnostic so it may not be too much of a help, but what about looking like it this way:
What if God gave you the gift of expression and he/she wants you to be happy?
22:5? I believe that is in reference to joining armies at that time.
I agree my wife has been making me go to a therapist to fix my( problem, addiction or what ever else she can think of that day.) Maybe it is her that should be seeking help for her problem with me! Other than this issue we have a great relationship. I will admit that I never told her about this side of me for years so I guess that's like lying and she hates that but otherwise I am not hurting anyone. Sara
You need to own up to the fact that you deceived her for years. I understand - believe you me I understand - that there are likely extenuating circumstances. (Massive shame, denial, social implications, lying to yourself, self defense - it's a long list.) However, at some level, you were dishonest about this. You need to apologize and mean it. I'm not saying you are bad, or you are wrong - but you need to own what you did. I'm sure she feels betrayed. And just because you feel you have a good excuse about why you didn't tell her doesn't make it OK. (Again, I'm not saying this is all on you - but own what you did.)
People get over deception from their partner. Not everyone can, and you need to realize that you have probably badly damaged her trust in you, among other things. It can take time to re-establish that.
From here on out, in my opinion, you need to be as honest as possible, unless she explicitly (or strongly implicitly) tells you - "look, do what you gotta do, but I want no part of this, don't tell me."
Posting Permissions
