When my ex took off she left some stuff behind. Finally getting around to doing an extra house purge/spring cleaning and I came across a nice dress she left. It's a nice semi-formal dress and I already have a pair of heels that would look great with it. It don't fit her anymore, she knows nothing about Amie Marie, and she doesn't even know it's here. I am leaning towards hiding it and keeping it for myself. Is this something I should do because the guy in me wants me to wear it.
Explain to me why I can't live in both worlds? ....... Well your rules are stupid!
Why would you have to hide it if she left? Do you want to hide it from her or others in your house? I guess the somewhat correct thing to do is to inform her that she left some things and ask if she wanted them back. If not then wear it and show us some pics.
I say go for it if she hasn't missed it yet and if it don't fit her she wont even remember
Gets back to simple ethics I think. You know it's there and you know it's hers. I'd casually let her know it's there and if she wants it or if should you send it out to Goodwill or wherever. If she wants it, then you know you did right by telling her. If not, you've got a guilt free addition to your wardrobe.
If she found something of yours, wouldn't you want her to do the same? I assume you are both on cordial terms and can at least talk, if not, then that needs to be considered as well. Only you know that. In general, I think honestly is always best policy.
Cheers,
Kalista
I'm a TGirl, yes it's true! I'm a TGirl, through and through.
I love nylons and high heels, mini-skirts and shopping deals!
I don't care what others say, life's too short, it's time to play.
I'm a TGirl, yes it's true! I'm a TGirl, how 'bout you?
Is in your home, so it's yours.
How long has this ex been an ex. Usually an e. will leave things purposely as a means to come back for it and see you again.
Whether it's the law or not, Possession = 9/10...
i could not have said it better, i have come to believe in Karma in recent years and when you do a good deed, good shall come back to you... in this case i hope you get the dress.Originally Posted by Kalista Jameson
My teenage daughter lives with me so all my stuff is hidden because of her.
Explain to me why I can't live in both worlds? ....... Well your rules are stupid!
She has been an ex for 4 years and yes she left stuff behind just for that reason. I have however tried to give her other things before and she either leaves it again or just complains that Im "kicking" her out. She's a little coocoo
Explain to me why I can't live in both worlds? ....... Well your rules are stupid!
If the shoe was on the other foot and you left something at her place, wouldn't you want her to tell you that you left something? if you really like it, see if you can find the same one!
Man! I feel like a woman!
If it don't fit her what is she going to do with it.
Angie
I understand what you are saying and i thank you for your thoughts.
Something that I didn't say in the original post is she did come in and took a bunch of her stuff while i was gone, just my daughter here. she didn't take it then.
Explain to me why I can't live in both worlds? ....... Well your rules are stupid!
The right thing to do would be to let her know about the dress and ask if she would like it returned to her - especially if you both parted on good terms and want to remain friends.
If, however, you both left on bad terms, then I'd say go for it. She left. She didn't take it with her, so it most likely was not that important to her, or it may have brought back a few memories which she would rather forget.
Di
Did she know you were a CD? If she did, maybe she left it for you. If not, maybe she suspected and is testing you?
She has no idea Im a cd so it wasn't for that.
Explain to me why I can't live in both worlds? ....... Well your rules are stupid!
If she left you, consider it revenge and your just spoils, and imagine yourself looking better in it than she did (or maybe you do look better, so good on you). If you left her, then she probably wants back in the relationship, so I'd send it to her with a pic of you wearing it (and looking better in it). I bet she doesn't call you anymore, because she'll think you are Kookoo. Of course, there could be a downside...if she outs you to everyone including your daughter, so maybe that's not such a good plan. Sorry, I've had a few drinks tonight.
I can't speak for u or your ex, Amie. But, I faced a similar situation with my ex. When she moved in, she was one hot, slim babe. Some of her old outfits reflected her work back then. As a sexy Las Vegas casino girl.
When she left me, she left a number of those hot old outfits behind. Because she'd never fit in them again. Even tho I'm 5" taller, I squeezed into some of those spandex dresses! If she ever wants them back, she can have them.
But, I'm not my pictures in them! Ha ha!
Last edited by docrobbysherry; 03-13-2013 at 11:50 PM.
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
how long was she gone? if its been a month then id keep her stuff for myself
the last time my ex and i met she lent me a wig she was not using and some stockings. i should have taken more of the hosiery as a few days later we broke up.
After four years!...I would call it fair game.
Chickie
finders keepers.
Technically (I am not a lawyer and my advice is worth $0.05) she abandoned the dress - keep it, wear it, toss it, donate it...put it in a plastic bag and wait for her to call asking you where it is!
When she left for the last time, did she glance back, or just keep walking - I would probably use that as the yardstick for determining whether to keep the dress, or not!
When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks.
I would ask her if she wants it or not and tell her you were cleaning out the place. If she wants it return it to her. I wouldn't have waited 4 years to do it though. After that much time I wouldn't contact her as it will just start her thinking about you again and start something you may not want.
All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?
How equitable was the property division? Surely you ended up with many things that were bought with joint funds during the marriage, and so did she. I don't see any ethical difference between a dress and any other household item to be divided up. (Unless the dress had sentimental value or something.)
"Don't hate me just for wanting to feel beautiful."
I see no reason to hide it, is she going to see you wearing it?
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
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