I tell my wife about my weekend

[Lori_Lynn]

My wife returned home Monday from her trip.
After work I sat and listened intently as she told me about her trip.
Then it was my turn, I needed to explain why I was shaved hairless before
she saw it.
I started by, honey, you know I love you very much, she replied, I love you to.
Well you know how I told you that I was dressing up? Yes.
Well I took it one step farther, look at my eyebrows,
What did you do? I had them waxed and shaped, don't they look nice? They do.
The hair on your arms waxed to? No, I just used the clippers on them.
But I did shave my chest. Oh my gosh.
That's not all, it's not? No.
I told about the eyebrow waxing, the makeup at Macy's ( Thanks for the tip ladies) , trying on and getting the wig, (Where do they sell wigs?) I told her.
The shopping for a new outfit, ( So that's why you wasn't on the internet?) she asks. Yes!
Oh and one more thing, I went out to a gay friendly bar and had a wonderful time.
She didn't say much. I did tell her all that happened there and how much fun it was.
I asked to dress while she was home or just while she was away, She didn't really say yes or no.
Just don't come out all made up, it will freak me out.
I tried to explain that I just wanted to wear a dress now and then on the weekend, but I guess it didn't sink in.
I probably overloaded her.
I told her that I would like to try it again and she started to freak, not this next weekend? she asked. No, just sometime down the rode and you could come to if you like? She didn't say.
I told her that she could see me because I took a couple of photos and that they were on the computer, she didn't seem to interested, only how I took the photos, she had the camera, on my web cam.
I also mentioned reading this site, no comment.
We did cuddle when we went to bed, and she was still hugging me when I woke up.
She never mentioned anything about it today.
So I guess it's a waiting game now, the ball is in her court now so to speak.
I'll keep you posted.
Thanks for all the support.

[Lorileah]

Hope it works out. I think you may have overloaded the circuits

[Caroline-Grant]

Woah too much way too soon. I'm not exactly a relationship doctor but maybe take it one step at a time. It's sort of like working on a house you slowly build a foundation, then youput up the frame, after the frames done you work on the roofing and the walls, and then you furnish and paint the home. You just did the equivalent of pushing a button and having a house spring up on an empty lot with only a weeks notice for the neighbors.Just to make sure when you said you had fun at a friendly gay bar you just meant dancing right? Telling your wife you're cheating on her is up there with forgot your anniversary and her birthday a couple days later. For now I'd say back off and see how she's handling it. Don't mention it until she does at the very least.

[PaulaQ]

Good luck Lori. Did you consider how this might make her feel first? I would guess she is scared about what is happening with you, and has a lot of questions. She is probably in shock and denial right now. This will likely change. pain and guilt should be next, followed by anger and bargaining. There's more after that - but anger and bargaining can last a good long while.

I'm sure this was a big shock for her. It was good you didn't come out fully dressed. Keep in mind you've had some time to adjust to this - she really hasn't.

Also keep in mind that as wonderful as the pink fog feels - some of the stuff you feel while there aren't quite real, or are at least distorted a little. Your feeling great about dressing, for example, won't neccessarily convey to her feeling great about it.

Hope it works out for you both.

[Leslie Langford]

Looks like a delayed reaction on your wife's part, Lori.

You'll know better how she feels about all this the moment it sinks in and she hauls out and clobbers you with a frying pan...

[Fran Moore]

tick.......tick........tick.........tick........I' ve got my fingers crossed for you Lori...

[Chickhe]

You might want to tell her you think you went too far... she's probably really worried about how far you plan to go. I remember one of the very first times I dressed up with my wife, I told her the next day when we went shopping that I was looking at shoes and thinking about how nice they would look on my feet...that went over like a brick in water....she's a little more accepting now decades later.

[ReineD]

We did cuddle when we went to bed, and she was still hugging me when I woke up.
She never mentioned anything about it today.
So I guess it's a waiting game now, the ball is in her court now so to speak.

I'm guessing that if you don't bring anything up again, she'll heave a sigh of relief and put your conversation down to a passing phase.

You need to TELL her what you get out of this, how far you wish to go, how often you dream of doing this, how you define gender, and if you think your definition is different than hers. She will probably wonder if she is losing her husband, or her definition of her husband. She will likely also wonder if you are attracted to men and if you want to be a woman.

Good luck!

[princesshart]

Lori
I hope this works out for you.
But as a gg I think it was too much for her to process at once.
I could be wrong. But most of us are scared in the beginning.

[mikiSJ]

I probably overloaded her.

Really, I couldn't have guessed!

[Ellanore G.G.]

Pandoras Box springs to mind.
That would be way too much for me to take in.
Id say she is hoping that it was just a day of madness on your part.
I explain to my H, that his fantasy's are HIS, not mine.
Whats makes him giddy and happy, sometimes has the opposite effect on me.
The biggest impact c/d had on me was,
If this makes you so happy, where do I fit in.???
good luck, and take it slower......much much slower

[Jenni Yumiko]

Wow that was a bit overload. The gay bar was definately not a smart move as one of the main questions spouses ask are...
Well it's out now, I think you Ned to take things in smaller chunks letting her process each piece, as opposed to that big avalanche. I'm not sure how to damage control this, but wish you luck! Jenniferathome, reneed will prolly be the best to help in this situation.

[Dana3]

I'm guessing that if you don't bring anything up again, she'll heave a sigh of relief and put your conversation down to a passing phase.

You need to TELL her what you get out of this, how far you wish to go, how often you dream of doing this, how you define gender, and if you think your definition is different than hers. She will probably wonder if she is losing her husband, or her definition of her husband. She will likely also wonder if you are attracted to men and if you want to be a woman.

Good luck!

Spot on! Life is just to freaking short!

[Diversity]

Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'd like to suggest that you pull in the reigns and give your wife a chance to digest all that you have thrown at her. Yes, you are excited about what you are doing, but in fairness, it is a lot to dump on your wife all at once. Think about her needs and give her time. You were right to be honest and open with her, but feed her through a funnel, not a culvert. Time is your best friend, I'd say. Good luck!
Di

[Lisa Gerrie]

Tell her you were on drugs. Start over.

[Lori_Lynn]

Thank you for your input ladies,, it confirms my fear that I overloaded her.
It was like a dam bursting, once I got started, I just could not stop myself and I am sure she feels that way as well.
I hope it doesn't flood us to bad and wash away our marriage, I thought a little time might help dry things out.
So I was going to try and wait for her to mention it, showing she is ready to converse about it.
The worst thing I think I could do now is bug her about it.
She is still kissing, hugging and telling me that she loves me, that's a good sign.

[allesha10]

Wow Lori, good for you,I am so jealous of your strength.

[traci_k]

What can I add? Yes probably overload. Hope it all works out for the best. At least she didn't break down immediately and you didn't get the frying pan to the head.
Hugs

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lori, She's probably still in shock.

[NurseSamGG]

Lori_Lynn
I definitely think it may have been too much information way to fast. But now that its all out on the table you need to keep the lines of communication open....so I hate to say it but the ball is still very much in your court not hers. She most likely has many questions and concerns about this new found news. Maybe you could sit down and talk again and say something such as" I know the other day I gave you a lot of information and I didn't mean to overload you. However I was just so excited to share with you I didnt stop and think about how all of this too fast would impact you and I do apologize for my ernst. But since you have had a few days to process the information do you have any questions for me?" She may or may not be ready to discuss it but it shows her you are open and ready to talk whenever she is. If she isn't ready to discuss it at this point let it rest and bring it up again in a week or so...if she doesn't bring it up first this shows her that this hobby of yours is very real and not something that's just a passing phase if she ignores it.
Best of Luck,
Sam

[Tammy Nowakowski]

way to much to start i have to agree with everyone to much to soon
baby steps not giant ones

[Stephanie47]

From the description of your weekend I'd say you took it more than one step further. You went from telling her you like to wear women's clothing to going out en femme to a gay bar, waxed your eyebrows, shaved your body, and you want to hang out around the house en femme. What is there to discuss? Basically, you hung it out there to dry, test the waters, whatever you want to call it. I would not necessarily think the hugging is conferring any sort of acceptance. I suspect she has been overloaded and really does not know how to handle the one sided approach to a radical change in the marriage.

[Beverley Sims]

Lori,
After that revelation I would wait until I was asked before revealing more.
Quite honestly,curb your enthusiasm and let her ask questions and do not embellish the answers.
Keep them plain an simple until you can see what kind of acceptance you have.
I hope not, but you could find yourself home alone tomorrow.

THE BALL IS NOT IN HER COURT.........

IT IS IN YOURS

Well and truly.

[Momarie]

"I probably overloaded her."

Sweet Jesus...ya think?

[mikiSJ]

I think Michael put it best:

Tell her you were on drugs. Start over.